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In pursuit of a soul mate
It seems simple enough as an idea really...you're living your life, doing what matters to you, indulging in your interests and hobbies and along your path you run into others doing the same. There's attraction, chemistry, common values, mutual respect and all things that just scream "soul mate"
But there are some that grow up with some sort of hard-fast notion of their "type"...some rather detailed idea of what their perfect match or mate is...see it...and pursue it.
Is that ever a good thing? Wouldn't you have to pretend, or change yourself in order to attempt your target to see you as their perfect match ?
It just seems that when I see this, that the person will give up their own identity, and try so hard to be the person the other person wants.
I dunno...I've seen allot of people getting their hearts broken over and over with the "wrong" loves.
I remember once telling a friend..."Hey, you're tripping and stumbling over allot of good men trying to get to a perfect one"
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| November 6, 2007, 08:08 |
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
I would never change anything about myself for anyone. If they don't like me, then i'm not the person for them. I like bad boys and i will walk past someone who is too nice, which isn't good, as they may be the greatest person in the world.
I have been lucky as most of the bad boys i've known have been real gentleman deep down.
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| November 6, 2007, 16:30 |
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Re: Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ November 6, 2007, 16:30)I would never change anything about myself for anyone. If they don't like me, then i'm not the person for them. I like bad boys and i will walk past someone who is too nice, which isn't good, as they may be the greatest person in the world.
I have been lucky as most of the bad boys i've known have been real gentleman deep down.
Did I mention I'm Bad? Don't let the  fool ya 
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| November 6, 2007, 18:28 |
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40something
57 / female
In the Sun, Arizona, US
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
I don't think it has to do with what you want in a guy - it is what you can't do without...
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| November 6, 2007, 23:10 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ November 6, 2007, 16:30)I would never change anything about myself for anyone. If they don't like me, then i'm not the person for them. I like bad boys and i will walk past someone who is too nice, which isn't good, as they may be the greatest person in the world.
I have been lucky as most of the bad boys i've known have been real gentleman deep down.
Damn, I guess you would walk right on by me. I guess that I need to take "bad boy" classes. 
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| November 9, 2007, 09:39 |
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
I think we all change a little during a courtship or wooing phase, we put our best face and foot forward, we're a little more sensitive and tolerant to the other person during that phase of discovery.
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| November 9, 2007, 09:54 |
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pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ November 6, 2007, 16:30)I would never change anything about myself for anyone. If they don't like me, then i'm not the person for them. I like bad boys and i will walk past someone who is too nice, which isn't good, as they may be the greatest person in the world.
I have been lucky as most of the bad boys i've known have been real gentleman deep down.
why is that, I can't figure that one out. I have some very close lady friends who would say "Why can't I find a nice guy " and usually they pass right by the nice guy . I tell them it's because they date jerks and guys that treat them like shit(excuse the english)  One finally is going out with a REAL great guy but she told me at first she avoided him because he was toooo nice. I just don't get it.
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| November 9, 2007, 10:03 |
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
Frankly, I don't quite get it either, I adore the nice guys , the gentlemen, the ones with at least some sensitivty, those who respect our planet and fellow beings.
For me, the bad boys are more "buddy" material than a romantic possibility.
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| November 9, 2007, 20:44 |
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40something
57 / female
In the Sun, Arizona, US
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Re: Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
QUOTE (Chazzy @ November 9, 2007, 20:44)Frankly, I don't quite get it either, I adore the nice guys , the gentlemen, the ones with at least some sensitivty, those who respect our planet and fellow beings.
For me, the bad boys are more "buddy" material than a romantic possibility.
I agree with Chazzy. The bad boys are not someone you can intoduce to your kids. It is the nice guys who remember your birthday, who send you flowers to cheer you up, who figure out how to send you dinner when they know you have had a tough day. Those are the guys that slide into your heart. They are the one you want to share good and bad times with.
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| November 10, 2007, 09:07 |
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pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
I guess there is no real answer, diff. strokes for diff folks. i suppose there are guys who are attracted to the bad girsl also. The old saying opposites attract , I guess.
I do know of a cpl of women who have had so much potential for wonderful lives screw it up because they got caught up with losers who brought them down. Oh well better them than me
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| November 10, 2007, 10:07 |
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
When i say "Bad boy" i don't mean nasty or horrible, i would NEVER introduce my boys to someone i didn't trust around them. When i said bad boy i just mean someone who stands up for himself, is not afraid to say it how it is. I need someone who will put me in my place from time to time, a nice guy will let me get away with stuff and that isn't good for me.
My friend had the nicest guy you could ever wish to meet. Flowers everyday they dated, spent money on her, her family loved him.
Two years down the line, she was in intensive care after having the crap beaten out of her, for talking to an ex. So maybe not all nice guys are good for us and some bad boys are the nice ones.
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| November 10, 2007, 13:30 |
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
lol wut a willy@$&^_/\_ 
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| November 10, 2007, 13:37 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ November 6, 2007, 16:30)I would never change anything about myself for anyone. If they don't like me, then i'm not the person for them. I like bad boys and i will walk past someone who is too nice, which isn't good, as they may be the greatest person in the world.
I have been lucky as most of the bad boys i've known have been real gentleman deep down.
Oh dear  I guess I wouldn't stand A chance
Nice guys finish last  lol
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| November 10, 2007, 14:02 |
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pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ November 10, 2007, 13:30)When i say "Bad boy" i don't mean nasty or horrible, i would NEVER introduce my boys to someone i didn't trust around them. When i said bad boy i just mean someone who stands up for himself, is not afraid to say it how it is. I need someone who will put me in my place from time to time, a nice guy will let me get away with stuff and that isn't good for me.
My friend had the nicest guy you could ever wish to meet. Flowers everyday they dated, spent money on her, her family loved him.
Two years down the line, she was in intensive care after having the crap beaten out of her, for talking to an ex. So maybe not all nice guys are good for us and some bad boys are the nice ones.
Ooooooops,sorry. We had 2 diff definitions of bad boy thought you meant type like home boys with their pants hangin half way down their asses and walking around like they are the toughest thing to hit the ground when they could be blown over by a small gust of wind.
You're were talking about, I assume , kind of a whipped wimp who won't stand up for himself. that's very different.I would think of that guy as just being strong. I guess I just tooo old, LOL
Seen the nice guys who just flip out. "can't judge a book by it's cover" they say and often it is true
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| November 10, 2007, 17:33 |
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Re: Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ November 10, 2007, 13:30)When i say "Bad boy" i don't mean nasty or horrible, i would NEVER introduce my boys to someone i didn't trust around them.
Oh now...all of us that know you, know you are one that always puts children first...all children!
I think the conflict of thought here is what each of us percieve to be a "bad boy" and what is a "good boy"...
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| November 11, 2007, 08:45 |
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
I also like a bad boy imagine and again i don't mean BAD in a nasty way. A bad boy is just someone who doesn't always do the right thing, he may have been in trouble, not scared to push the boundaries. A bad boy doesn't mean he would hurt you, in my experience they are the opposite and will protect you no matter what or who they are up against.
And i agree with HBG, just because someone isn't a " Nice guy ", doesn't make them not partner material or a danger to be around your kids. My boyfriend now, has a reputation for being a bad boy, he has been in trouble, when he was younger, but he is a true gent, he looks after his family, visits his gran every sunday. Sends me flowers, takes my kids to the park. I'll have a bad boy any day.
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| November 11, 2007, 08:47 |
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Re: In pursuit of a soul mate
I thought I caught her once.----Of course then I had to pass her too.
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| November 11, 2007, 08:49 |
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