|
| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
|
pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
|
50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.Part 3
26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.
27. Being afraid to guide your partner's hand when he's touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.
28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. It's your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked, in your bed...what else did you think was going to happen?
29. Refusing to let him take control. So you're a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots sometimes doesn't make you any less of one.
30. Refusing to take control. It's OK to crawl across a bed to him, on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.
31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.
32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them. Just DON'T ignore them.
33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.
34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So what if doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.
37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of the bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.
38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a threesome . It's the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a threesome is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).
39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.
|
| September 29, 2007, 21:27 |
|
pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
|
Re: 50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.Part 4
40. Nails. It's one thing, tracing them up and down your partners back. It's another when you snag the goods with a claw.
41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. That's the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and can't jizz and be done with it. Remember, it's good for the skin.
42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something. So he knows he's the best you've ever had, even if he isn't.
43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. !! By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know it's not working, he's not going to change it. You're starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex, which will eventually be very damaging to his ego. (Please note....sometimes, first time sex can be a little awkward and unfulfilling...so a little theatrics may be warranted. This applies to the FIRST TIME ONLY !! After that...NO excuses. Use your words, show him. If you continue to fake it...you'll set womankind back a 1000 years !)
44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, so this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.
45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.
46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things. Having 250864 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were handmade by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern, isn't an excuse not to experiment. They'll wash.
47. Doing all of your 'before bed' things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really ladies, fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie and acne cream on your nose, is not all its cracked up to be.
48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately, so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by, is not the way to do it.
49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions, or the end of the world. It happens. He's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move on to other activities until it gets hard again. And if it doesn't...then try something else...he's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are NOT ok.
50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to get a drink, take a leak and have a nap, perhaps not in that order.
I hope this has cleared up some serious misconceptions
|
| September 29, 2007, 21:30 |
|
|
