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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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been thinking
maybe some of you noticed i had disappeared from view for a while, well i been doing a lot of thinking about things that had happened since my dad passed away during this time & have come to the conclusion that the people here & my work care more about my feelings and how i am more than my brother and my aunts,etc and the people my dad, mum and myself knew when he was with us, when he was living i used to see them at work a lot and used to talk, now they have just disappeared off the face of the earth, as for my brother i have no idea what happened to him, i have not seen or heard from him since march this year(the day my dad's funeral)i have tried phoning or texting him nothing, i even get people like that in here and from messenger but i came to a decision, to hell with them, if they cant be bothered with me why should i be bothered with them, i cleaned out my address book & messenger list and just kept the ones i talk to regularly, be back on view real soon if anyone is interested.
phill 
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| September 18, 2007, 05:04 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: been thinking
Slowpoke I for one am honored to have you as a friend
I know you went through a rough time when your dad passed on and I am glad I was able to talk to you
You know that if at any time you need to talk about anything I will here to listen
I have found the same thing with my family My online friends worry more about me than family does I quit worrying about family They don't care for me so now the feeling is mutual but I miss any online friend who decides to leave
You take care my friend
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| September 18, 2007, 06:17 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: been thinking
Slowpoke, I'm so sorry about your Dad. I know it's rough, it seems like everyone gets so caught up in the moment and then moves on, back to their own lives and thoughts. It doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't thinking of you maybe it means that they too are having a hard time dealing with the loss in their own way. I'm finding it's the same thing with a terminal illness in the family. I've heard so many times how "we can't be there, we have lives" or my favorite excuse "we can't stand to see him like this" and it hurts, makes you furious and makes you have really evil thoughts toward those family members and friends, especially if you are the one who is dealing with it 24hrs a day. But it's their loss, not mine or my husbands, and it makes you wonder if those kind are really worth all the effort we waste asking ourselves why! You aren't alone, I may not be here as much anymore as my hubby's situation changes daily but please yell at me anytime.
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| September 18, 2007, 06:33 |
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pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: been thinking
Well said SHS, people deal with death differently. Maybe they are having trouble with their regrets. I wouldn't delete them from msgr or address book(to negative of an action, get rid of the negavtivity) be there if they ever need you but most of all be true to yourself.Ask yourself , Would your father want you to close the door on your brother and go from there
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| September 18, 2007, 06:58 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: been thinking
I notice whether you log in or not dear, I've noticed you haven't been posting much. I know you have your quiet times and you know I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk and need some company.
I've learned to love unconditionally, and it so simplyfies life for me...I can love those that don't give a crap about me, I can love those that hold some grudge, I can love those that just don't like me.
I've learned that it just shoudn't matter how someone feels about me and I don't need to make them care, or like me or forgive me, and all that just complicates everything. They are entitled to form whatever opinion they want about me and I cannot control that, I can only control what comes from my own heart.
I've learned that it only matters how I feel about them, so my door is always open, no bridges are burned and I always love them unconditionally, no strings attached.
I do think you will have a lighter heart and more peaceful mind and soul, if you continue sending those occasional messages to your family telling them simply that you love and miss them. Don't attach strings and expect replies, do it for yourself.
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| September 18, 2007, 09:00 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: been thinking
You are a great man sp and anyone would be honoured to have you as a friend 
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| September 18, 2007, 13:29 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: been thinking
Well Slowpoke, I'm sorry to hear that those people have decided not to continue to see you as a friend. I would be honored to be a friend of yours. I think you are a funny and very personable guy. You can always message Ma or me anytime you want.
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| September 18, 2007, 21:21 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: been thinking
thank you to all who viewed it and replied
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| September 20, 2007, 04:44 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Re: been thinking
QUOTE (pookhabear @ September 18, 2007, 06:58)Well said SHS, people deal with death differently. Maybe they are having trouble with their regrets. I wouldn't delete them from msgr or address book(to negative of an action, get rid of the negavtivity) be there if they ever need you but most of all be true to yourself.Ask yourself , Would your father want you to close the door on your brother and go from there
i can understand where you are coming from but i have given them every chance to contact me & they not bothered & with it being almost 7 months without contact, would u go that long if you still cared about someone or was concerned about them.
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| September 20, 2007, 04:51 |
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pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: been thinking
Not on a regular basis but occassionally drop a note. it makes you the bigger person. You don't know what is bothering them they may need you some day and no matter what has happened who better to be there for than family
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| September 22, 2007, 12:55 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: been thinking
I know what you mean SP, but I've also found with some of my friends that we don't always know whats going on with them. I had to eat crow a few times... but u do have some very dear friends here. I hope I can be counted as one of them. 
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| September 22, 2007, 13:58 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Re: been thinking
QUOTE (pookhabear @ September 22, 2007, 12:55)Not on a regular basis but occasionally drop a note. it makes you the bigger person. You don't know what is bothering them they may need you some day and no matter what has happened who better to be there for than family
i have to my brother, but nothing comes back 
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| September 22, 2007, 14:45 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Re: been thinking
QUOTE (TJCal2007 @ September 22, 2007, 13:58)
of course you are sexy 
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| September 22, 2007, 14:46 |
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