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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Your vast knowledge of the male reproductive system is beyond impressive. However, you never answered my question. Shrinkage verses high beams?
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| September 20, 2007, 13:27 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (freensleazy @ September 20, 2007, 13:27)Your vast knowledge of the male reproductive system is beyond impressive. However, you never answered my question. Shrinkage verses high beams?
The way I look at it is this. During the cold a penis retracts and shrinks along with two of its best buddies (balls one and two). Nipples (like the women who hold them high, or low depending on age...parental standing, etc.) tough it out under extreme conditions, i.e. we show our high beams when the faced with coldness thus being a beacon to all to show the way.
Thank you caller for your question...click...
Call screener: "I'm sorry Dr. Juils, this time he said he was Dr. Drew Penski."
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| September 22, 2007, 01:18 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
JUILIANNA! This has nothing to do with doctor stuff.. but I have to ask. Are you anywhere near West???? 'Cause I'm headin' down there this afternoon for my daughter's volleyball game and if I can't catch up to the bus I'll have no earthly idea how to get to the school!!! Asking for directions is a no no.... Strange people in the world these days.... HELP ME!
 
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| September 24, 2007, 11:30 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
I'm sorry, I just came home, and no, I'm not near West. Hope you found it!!!
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| September 24, 2007, 18:48 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
It was kind of funny. I picked up my 2 sons and saw the girls loading a couple of the buses. I figured I had time to check the mail since the post office is right by the school. Well, I checked it and headed down the road. I figured that they were either ahead of me and I could catch up or I'd slow down a bit and let them catch up. Well, I get all the way down to Grandview and decide to pull over and wait. 15 minutes later, no bus! I figured they got ahead of me somehow... I hauled ass to West and found the high school... wrong one. Thankfully, there was a guy there who told me where to go. When I arrived, I saw that the girls were already there! My daughter said that the coach went the back way and drove reeeeeeaaaaally fast!  Thank goodness the next game is here!
Thanks anyhow, Juils
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| September 26, 2007, 09:55 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
I never go anywhere unfamiliar without a quick stop at MapQuest....
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| September 26, 2007, 10:59 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
That's what I did.... found the high school with no problem... they played at the junior high, though
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| September 26, 2007, 11:10 |
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ShadowSpirit69
69 / male
Southern Oklahoma, Oklahoma, US
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Penis Owners Instruction Manual...Now that's funny I don't care who you are..
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| September 26, 2007, 12:41 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (MoonHowler @ September 26, 2007, 11:10)That's what I did.... found the high school with no problem... they played at the junior high, though
Yeah, half the time there is no rhyme or reason as to where some of those sports teams play. As for the hauling ass bus driver coaches...  I always hated when we had to go somewhere and they drove like Grandma Moses!!!
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| September 26, 2007, 21:02 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (ShadowSpirit69 @ September 26, 2007, 12:41)Penis Owners Instruction Manual...Now that's funny I don't care who you are..
Funny it may be...but helpful to so many!!!
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| September 26, 2007, 21:03 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Hey Dr J
Which brand of penis enlargement pills do you recommend? My ex-girlfriend wanted me to get some because she said I was too small to satisfy her. Im not one to even take asppirin so the thought of those pills wasnt appealing to me. I told her that even the Goodyear Blimp would look small in the Grand Canyon. (hence the "ex" girlfriend!) Anyway,I'm reconsidering and before I went and bought anything, I'd ask the pro. So, I'll hang up and wait for your answer.
Needle Dick the Fly Fucker
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| September 27, 2007, 13:58 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Well, NDFF. I don't really believe in penis enhancement pills. There is a new procedure invented by a doctor in a remote area in the arctic circle (I know, I know we all thought Arctic circle was completely remote but this is really far off the beaten path...no pun intended).
Explanation of procedure:
1) The doctor (not certified in the US or Canada) cuts open the bottom of the male's scrotum
2) The doctor inserts an implant similar to a breast implant (it is filled with water) into the shaft of the man's penis through the scrotum area.
3) This all must be done without benefit of a local anesthesia because they could not get ACMA (Arctic Circle Medical Approval), that is why the procedure is done in such a remote area in Iceland (the screaming is unfeakingbelievable).
4) The man is put out in a snowbank and once his penis is frozen he is ready for action.
The plus of this is that he erection doesn't last as long as the little blue pill but it does make the man hard and stiff!
The drawback is that the erection is only good for as long as it is frozen.
Please give the Institute for Arctic Penile Implants a call at 1/800-ColdPrk. Please be patient if you have to leave a message, Dr. Chopp is also the Arctic Circle's one and only plumber/cock dock.
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| September 27, 2007, 20:06 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Docter Docter...
I have this tingling feeling in my pants and my boy parts wont get small again... what should i do?
Broken Buttons,
south dakota
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| September 27, 2007, 20:23 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Broken Buttons...
I have just the solution for you! There is a plane ticket waiting for you at the South Dakota International Airport and Bus Terminal and Truck Stop. Get on that plane and head south. There will be a woman in high heels and red hair waiting to rush you to the closest treatment center. There an immediate tingling ceremony will be performed to take care of the problem. This procedure may need to be repeated numerous times in order for the tingling to stop!
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| September 27, 2007, 20:28 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ September 27, 2007, 20:23)Docter Docter...
I have this tingling feeling in my pants and my boy parts wont get small again... what should i do?
Broken Buttons,
south dakota
Or save a buck and bend over  and I'll make your boy parts go small.. LMAO. Then you can go see redhead doc julianna if that don't work
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| September 27, 2007, 21:23 |
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Re: Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (bikerchick69 @ September 27, 2007, 21:23) QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ September 27, 2007, 20:23)Docter Docter...
I have this tingling feeling in my pants and my boy parts wont get small again... what should i do?
Broken Buttons,
south dakota
Or save a buck and bend over and I'll make your boy parts go small.. LMAO. Then you can go see redhead doc julianna if that don't work
Ouch...and hey, if that doesn't work and you need to catch that plane south, bring that with you, perhaps we'll find a use for it!!! 
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| September 28, 2007, 08:31 |
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2hornythreesome
55 / couple
melbourne, Victoria, Australia
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
hey doc in desperate need of help i have
this mental illness and i think i need to make sweet beautiful love to every woman that makes my cock hard is there any hope for me because it is very often,there are so many many beautiful women on this vast wonderful planet of ours i have a constant hard-on please help me!   all 
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| September 28, 2007, 12:33 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
2hornythreesome
Caller, caller, caller...what is the problem? I say if you have the urge to have sex ... have sex . Screw your brains out, enjoy yourself until your cock falls off your body...you only live once and the simple pleasures of life should not be avoided!!!
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| September 28, 2007, 13:45 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Hey Dr Juilis;
I have a similar problem like 2horny3some, but my tongue also gets hard.
Then I can't talk and try to met the ladies.
I know sign language, but they don't.
Need help.
Signed: won ton hard tongue
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| September 29, 2007, 03:43 |
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pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (ptr61dhn @ September 29, 2007, 03:43)Hey Dr Juilis;
I have a similar problem like 2horny3some, but my tongue also gets hard.
Then I can't talk and try to met the ladies.
I know sign language, but they don't.
Need help.
Signed: won ton hard tongue
I'm not a doctor and would never claim to be as wise as Dr. J but I bet if you keep posting this you'll gain a lot of friends
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| September 29, 2007, 07:23 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (ptr61dhn @ September 29, 2007, 03:43)Hey Dr Juilis;
I have a similar problem like 2horny3some, but my tongue also gets hard.
Then I can't talk and try to met the ladies.
I know sign language, but they don't.
Need help.
Signed: won ton hard tongue
WTHT...
Perhaps you should think about donating your tongue to science (and quite possibly the rest of you too). I know many of my female collegues that would donate their time to this problem for/with you. I'm thinking I, oops, I mean we could study the deficency you have and come up with a plan of action. I don't think there would be an issue with a language barrier in the least, as long as you are willing to do ANYTHING in the name of science...please let me know if you are interested and you and I can meet for an initial consultation, the initial meeting would be long and thorough.
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| September 29, 2007, 17:28 |
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AmberZed
56 / female
South of that..., Georgia, US
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
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| September 30, 2007, 03:08 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
How does one go about conquering the distance between oneself and the gentleman with whom one wishes to waltz?
I would like to hear the answer to this one too
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| September 30, 2007, 07:54 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
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| September 30, 2007, 11:06 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
AmberZed & Tiger,
Thank you both for calling into the Dr. Juils hotline. Dancing cheek to cheek (either the facial cheek or that on the bum) may not be possible in the realm of the online relationship but I do believe dancing in a long distance romance is.
Dancing is all about movement to a rhythm and the greatest part about music and sound is that it is universal...state to state...nation to nation we call have exposure to music, there are no limitations to different types of music online so use that to your advantage.
This is what I say...if phone sex is possible...if cybersex has the potential to bring people to a climax then why can't a dance work? It is all about imagery...
1) Agree to listen to the same song at the same time...
2) Close your eyes and feel your partner's breath on your neck, their hands on the small of your back...your breasts/chest pressed against theirs.
3) The only limitation is your own mind. Talk on the phone while dancing if that helps, your partner can tell you where they are (it may help to do as my previous post discussed and have a piece of their clothing with their scent or favorite perfume on it because the sense of smell is strong and can bring an emotional and physical response).
4) Open your heart, open your mind and just do the steps, the sound of each other's voices, the scent of the other person...go beyond your comfort zone here and JUST DANCE.
Enjoy and I hope this is helpful...control room, crank up a little Zep and lets do this!
Dr. Juils, *PhD, DIVA
*Please keep in mind...I'm not really a doctor!!!
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| September 30, 2007, 11:16 |
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Jis4jugs
43 / couple
Eastern, South Dakota, US
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Juilianna @ September 30, 2007, 11:16)AmberZed &
*Please keep in mind...I'm not really a doctor!!!
we're not really sick either but you can examine us anytime....
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| September 30, 2007, 12:38 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
thanks Dr Julis
I am sure I will have to suggest that if he don't come in here and read it first
take care
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| September 30, 2007, 13:31 |
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Re: Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Jis4jugs @ September 30, 2007, 12:38) QUOTE (Juilianna @ September 30, 2007, 11:16)AmberZed &
*Please keep in mind...I'm not really a doctor!!!
we're not really sick either but you can examine us anytime....
Dear JJ...I'm getting my gloves and my KY ready now...oh, and I think we are all a little sick here on WN, that's what makes this so much fun...LOL
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| September 30, 2007, 13:34 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Dr. J...
Why do my boobs seem to be getting bigger? 
I had asked my man... but he advised me to shut up and ask you, doc 
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| September 30, 2007, 19:37 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Dear BC...
I have a strange feeling your boobs may be getting bigger due to hormonal changes in your body. Perhaps you should give the doctor a little more information. Either that or someone is blowing hot air into them each time he "sucks" on them...remember BCB, it is suck not blow.
Dr. J
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| September 30, 2007, 19:46 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Juilianna @ September 30, 2007, 19:46)Dear BC...
I have a strange feeling your boobs may be getting bigger due to hormonal changes in your body. Perhaps you should give the doctor a little more information. Either that or someone is blowing hot air into them each time he "sucks" on them...remember BCB, it is suck not blow.
Dr. J
Huh, couldn't be pregnant could she?
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| September 30, 2007, 20:20 |
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Re: Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (JCSOS @ September 30, 2007, 20:20) QUOTE (Juilianna @ September 30, 2007, 19:46)Dear BC...
I have a strange feeling your boobs may be getting bigger due to hormonal changes in your body. Perhaps you should give the doctor a little more information. Either that or someone is blowing hot air into them each time he "sucks" on them...remember BCB, it is suck not blow.
Dr. J
Huh, couldn't be pregnant could she?
I'll need more information and a plastic stick she's peed on before I can make any determinations on that...
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| September 30, 2007, 21:43 |
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Juilianna @ September 30, 2007, 21:43) QUOTE (JCSOS @ September 30, 2007, 20:20) QUOTE (Juilianna @ September 30, 2007, 19:46)Dear BC...
I have a strange feeling your boobs may be getting bigger due to hormonal changes in your body. Perhaps you should give the doctor a little more information. Either that or someone is blowing hot air into them each time he "sucks" on them...remember BCB, it is suck not blow.
Dr. J
Huh, couldn't be pregnant could she?
I'll need more information and a plastic stick she's peed on before I can make any determinations on that...
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| September 30, 2007, 21:51 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
first off she said BOOBS i'm no biologist but babies dont grow in boobs do they?? LMAO
hhhmmmmm.... are you sure its suck and not blow? i'll trust your knowledge on that one.. but can i still blow down below??? its always funny watching her get up and farting from the front door... causes giggles and a red face every time. any advice or anecdotes on that one?
p.s. you dont need a plastic stick and pee germs... just get a needle on thin thread and hold it dead still above the womans belly in question..... no movement then you better keep the midols handy.
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| September 30, 2007, 21:52 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
BCB...
No, babies do not indeed grow in boobs but pregnancy does cause a great deal of enhancement in that area. A friend of mine's husband thought the "titty fairy" had come and he was in heaven until after their third child came and he bought her a set of boobies.
As a point of reference, we call that whole gassy thing "popping" in my house, and it amazes me how my youngest already thinks it is a hoot to "pop" and his older sister thinks it is extremely offended when he does it so openly...it is a gender related issue when it comes to girls gigglin' and boys aiming their booties when they do it. 
Yeah, yeah, we did that needle attached to a thread thing when I was pregnant with my daughter and it didn't freaking move and I was REALLY REALLY big pregnant when my sisters did it to me so that isn't always the case. It did, however work on my nephew...next thing your gonna tell me is that you have to use a compass to find your way down low to blow...if that's the case, go on and head south and I'll show you the way...
And for the record, I love having an IUD because I don't usually have to use that Midol crap but three or four times a year because the visitor isn't a monthly friend anymore!!! 
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| September 30, 2007, 23:03 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Well I'm certainly GLAD to hear babies don't grow in boobs.... LMAO. Yeah... like I didn't already know that
Yeah well.... I can't help but fart sometimes... its sometimes embarrasing but I'll at least claim it at home. LOL. Yes... I can feel my face turning red too when I do it.
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| October 1, 2007, 21:14 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Yes, well I'm thinking someone is evading the question...when you call Dr. J and only provide partial information you could be misguided by advice...
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| October 1, 2007, 21:21 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (bikerchick69 @ October 1, 2007, 21:14)Well I'm certainly GLAD to hear babies don't grow in boobs.... LMAO. Yeah... like I didn't already know that
Yeah well.... I can't help but fart sometimes... its sometimes embarrasing but I'll at least claim it at home. LOL. Yes... I can feel my face turning red too when I do it.
Yes.... after re-reading BCB's post... I've farted both front and the back door. LMAO. Not that it needed to be announced but... yeah. Moving on... 
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| October 1, 2007, 21:24 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Juilianna @ October 1, 2007, 21:21)Yes, well I'm thinking someone is evading the question...when you call Dr. J and only provide partial information you could be misguided by advice...
What are we evading now??
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| October 1, 2007, 21:25 |
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Re: Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (bikerchick69 @ October 1, 2007, 21:25) QUOTE (Juilianna @ October 1, 2007, 21:21)Yes, well I'm thinking someone is evading the question...when you call Dr. J and only provide partial information you could be misguided by advice...
What are we evading now??
Well, there have been a few posts...one about if one or the other parent should stay home and the other about boobs growing and I'm just curious if there is going to be a BoredCountryBikerBaby...there...no one else has the "guts/balls" to ask so I did!
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| October 1, 2007, 21:27 |
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Juilianna @ October 1, 2007, 21:27) QUOTE (bikerchick69 @ October 1, 2007, 21:25) QUOTE (Juilianna @ October 1, 2007, 21:21)Yes, well I'm thinking someone is evading the question...when you call Dr. J and only provide partial information you could be misguided by advice...
What are we evading now??
Well, there have been a few posts...one about if one or the other parent should stay home and the other about boobs growing and I'm just curious if there is going to be a BoredCountryBikerBaby...there...no one else has the "guts/balls" to ask so I did!
May we see your balls??
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| October 1, 2007, 21:28 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Base or foot? I'm thinking you are becoming a professional dodge ball player!
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| October 1, 2007, 21:31 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Juilianna @ October 1, 2007, 21:31)Base or foot? I'm thinking you are becoming a professional dodge ball player!
We were thinking tennis ball... figured you'd have hairy balls.
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| October 1, 2007, 21:33 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Nope, I'm more of a hairless ball kind of girl...still the question remains...LOL...ah, let me guess, what question...
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| October 1, 2007, 21:36 |
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Juilianna @ October 1, 2007, 21:27) QUOTE (bikerchick69 @ October 1, 2007, 21:25) QUOTE (Juilianna @ October 1, 2007, 21:21)Yes, well I'm thinking someone is evading the question...when you call Dr. J and only provide partial information you could be misguided by advice...
What are we evading now??
Well, there have been a few posts...one about if one or the other parent should stay home and the other about boobs growing and I'm just curious if there is going to be a BoredCountryBikerBaby...there...no one else has the "guts/balls" to ask so I did!
That one... is a tough one. Can maybe only be answered by the one...... the ONLY..
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BCB
Have fun babe. 
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| October 1, 2007, 21:36 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Ah...yes, pass the buck to BCB...will he be buying things like pickles and ice cream toppings to eat together? Will he be walking the floor late at night with a wee one in his arms? Stay tuned folks for the next episode of BoredCountryBikerBaby...Oh, wait...this is my advice column...what the heck happened? Oh, that's right, I can't give advice unless I'm given the truth...the whole truth and nothin' but the truth your honor... 
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| October 1, 2007, 21:40 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Tick tock, tick tock, I see you lurking in the forums BCB...perhaps I should be calling you Big Country Baby...LOL!!! Don't you just love when I give you "the business?"
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| October 1, 2007, 21:52 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
cough.... weeze.... HUH???
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| October 1, 2007, 21:53 |
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Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
Yeah, yeah, yeah...that's what I thought...so, we're at what April/May?
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| October 1, 2007, 22:41 |
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Re: Re: Ask Dr. Juilis
QUOTE (Juilianna @ October 1, 2007, 22:41)Yeah, yeah, yeah...that's what I thought...so, we're at what April/May?
Negative....
What?!? Did I just say something?! No, I did not... my mouth is shut. 
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| October 2, 2007, 20:45 |
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