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MESSAGE |
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pookhabear
76 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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THE GUYS RULES
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly accepta ble answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you' re fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did < B>NOT need dire ctions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS A SHAPE!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch ton ight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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| August 31, 2007, 08:15 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Re: THE GUYS RULES
Ok Ok....Some MAY be valid points,,,,(BUT not all...lol.....  )
Good one Pook.. 
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| August 31, 2007, 09:44 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: THE GUYS RULES
 should reality be posted in the joke forum??
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| August 31, 2007, 09:48 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: THE GUYS RULES
I love it!! But guess what? I've been married most of my life.. 2 husbands, 1 son, 2 step sons, 4 grandsons..gimme a break..I've known these rules for a loooong time. Now about the "fat" thing, yes I am guilty of putting all of them on the spot on occassion but I'll admit I stopped when they all started answering YES!!!! and amazingly they all have turned out to be pretty good cooks since then..hehe
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| August 31, 2007, 12:25 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: THE GUYS RULES
Yup, that's pretty much it in a nut shell. Its good that we can get this out in the open.
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| August 31, 2007, 13:24 |
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pookhabear
76 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: Re: THE GUYS RULES
QUOTE (Liberalwife @ August 31, 2007, 09:44)Ok Ok....Some MAY be valid points,,,,(BUT not all...lol..... )
Good one Pook..
I think number 1 is the only valid one LOL
Although when i was married this one used to irk me
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
So I told her to do it herself, maybe that's why I used to be married . If i only knew it would be that easy   
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| August 31, 2007, 22:52 |
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