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Things to think about and smile
...I don't do drugs anymore cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
...Sign In Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
...Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
...I got a sweater for Christmas... I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
...If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
...I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
...The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
...There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and butt-head's.
...If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
...I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
...Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.
...I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
...I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
...Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
...Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
...No one ever says "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.
...Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
...Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.
...How come we choose from just two or three people for president and 50 for Miss America?
...The next time you feel like complaining remember, your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.
...Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
...Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
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| August 30, 2007, 09:09 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Things to think about and smile
outstanding, I haven't heard most of them.   
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| August 30, 2007, 15:13 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Things to think about and smile
Good ones Moon. 
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| September 4, 2007, 07:30 |
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Things to think about and smile
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