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911 call
This little old lady calls 911.
When the operator answers, she yells, "Help, send the police to my house
right away. There's a damn Republican on my front porch and he's playing
with himself"
"What?" the operator exclaimed.
"I said there is a damn Republican on my front porch playing with
himself; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the
little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Republican?"
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Democrat, he'd be screwing somebody!
 made me do it
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