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Personal Feelings
When you are at a get together , BBQ, family function, at work, in a group discussion, safety meeting etc. What level of personal feelings do you endure.
1. Do you feel the topics/situations are always about you and you spend all your time trying to defend yourself in front of others.
2. Can you analyze the topics/situations and give generalized input with-out getting hurt feelings.
3. Are you the type that can just sit back listen to what is being said, cool, calm and collected and let it all pass by like water off a ducks ass, even joke about it, while wondering how people can be so touchy.
I am probably a little of all three, depending on the topic. How about you?
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| May 30, 2007, 21:30 |
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Re: Personal Feelings
When dealing with people face to face...you have their body language, facial expression, tone of voice...all kinds of things to go on...that let you know that something was meant as a joke, a personal stab, or that someone is behaving a certain way, and saying things because they're in a bad mood, good mood, under the influence, etc....and if there is any doubt about anything said, you're right there to clear it all up!
Now, forums like this are different...we don't have that personal contact and all we have to rely on is the typed words and a few emoticons....misunderstandings happen often...and there can be some mixed signals and confusion... and some deliberate attempts to camouflage a mean remark by adding a little round laughing happy face...
Some remarks may not come off as intended without a LOL or an emoticon...if you feel something is too personal, or you've been misunderstood, just get direct, polite and direct...(preferrably if possible, with a private message) and put an end to any misunderstanding and confusion...if that doesn't work, then for me, it's just best I walk away and give it up...no point in taking things to an argumentative level.
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| May 30, 2007, 22:42 |
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smitty6044
80 / male
A whoop and a hollar from Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: Personal Feelings
that is so true Chazzy. It is way too easy to assume that everyone can "crawl inside your head" to figure out the what you meant, not what you said deal. It is always easy in person (well, easier anyway). The best example is trying to communicate with someone who is not a native English speaker. Easy in person, but very confusing on the phone or in chat. I try to figure out unexpected responses instead of getting upset. Orientals are the worst....they smile and nod their heads to be polite to you but didn't understand most of what you said. Always ask them to repeat the question to you.....usually miles away from the intended meaning or question. Watch the eyes carefully if you can.
None of us are perfect either so if things can't be easily resolved, walk away for a while and approach things again when everybody is calmer or just drop it!
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| May 31, 2007, 00:41 |
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Re: Personal Feelings
When in a forum, sometimes your mood can affect they way you "translate" something, after years of all kinds of internet forums, I know this...someone will be in a sad mood, pissey mood, read something, take it personally then a day or so later, when things are better for them, they can re-read the exact same posts and wonder what the hell they ever got upset about!
Has anyone ever experienced this themselves?
Human nature, it's in us all and we're stuck with it...
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| May 31, 2007, 00:55 |
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Re: Personal Feelings
Definately...tonight I'm finding most everything silly but I'm generally just a little bit  anyway...
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| May 31, 2007, 01:00 |
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Re: Personal Feelings
It's just like anything else...sometimes ya gotta walk away from it for a while, then come back with fresh eyes and a fresh mind...
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| May 31, 2007, 01:02 |
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dave2big
81 / male
somewhere, Nebraska, US
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Re: Personal Feelings
while i admit that walking away from a potential family argument IS the right thing to do, how many people here can HONESTLY say thats what they always do ? it sure as hell aint me !i already quoted my youngest daughter when she told me how f----ng stupid i was. am i supposed to let asinine comments like that slide ?maybe a saint would, but im no saint !!! comments ?????? 
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| May 31, 2007, 08:35 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Personal Feelings
How old is your daughter?
I'm not a mom, but I'm sure the moms here can tell you what they have learned from dealing and arguing with their daughters.
I'm sure no saint, but yes...I can walk away from an escalated argument...I'm a woman of extreme patience, too much for my own good probably. I prefer to walk away from the emotional mess of it, and deal with the underlying main issue later.
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| May 31, 2007, 14:00 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Personal Feelings
Family, husbands, wifes, daughters, sons, friends: they all fall pretty much in the same boat: a heated argument can sometimes help unless the opposing party is so dense and so determined as not to listen to or respect your point of view and to even remotely consider that you may just have a true complaint it's useless to continue. Much more fun to sit back and watch them use the same tactics on some other poor soul, you can learn a lot from that person, lol
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| May 31, 2007, 18:49 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Personal Feelings
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 30, 2007, 22:42)When dealing with people face to face...you have their body language, facial expression, tone of voice...all kinds of things to go on...that let you know that something was meant as a joke, a personal stab, or that someone is behaving a certain way, and saying things because they're in a bad mood, good mood, under the influence, etc....and if there is any doubt about anything said, you're right there to clear it all up!
Now, forums like this are different...we don't have that personal contact and all we have to rely on is the typed words and a few emoticons....misunderstandings happen often...and there can be some mixed signals and confusion... and some deliberate attempts to camouflage a mean remark by adding a little round laughing happy face...
Some remarks may not come off as intended without a LOL or an emoticon...if you feel something is too personal, or you've been misunderstood, just get direct, polite and direct...(preferrably if possible, with a private message) and put an end to any misunderstanding and confusion...if that doesn't work, then for me, it's just best I walk away and give it up...no point in taking things to an argumentative level.
Well Chazzy,,all I can say is that is a darn good answer,,,,sometimes I wonder if you have a little psychologist in you? But I do I know that you have an open mind and a Big heart,,,, 
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| May 31, 2007, 19:05 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Personal Feelings
Sometimes I think more on things like that than I should. It's just me making things worse than they really are.
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| May 31, 2007, 22:12 |
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dave2big
81 / male
somewhere, Nebraska, US
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Re: Re: Personal Feelings
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 31, 2007, 14:00)How old is your daughter?
I'm not a mom, but I'm sure the moms here can tell you what they have learned from dealing and arguing with their daughters. my daughter was 34 at the time, it was the argunent/discussion about disciplining children. she doesnt have any, but knows EVERYTHING about raising them. when i told her to wait till she had her own, she blew up !!
I'm sure no saint, but yes...I can walk away from an escalated argument...I'm a woman of extreme patience, too much for my own good probably. I prefer to walk away from the emotional mess of it, and deal with the underlying main issue later.
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| June 1, 2007, 06:46 |
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dave2big
81 / male
somewhere, Nebraska, US
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Re: Personal Feelings
sorry chazzy,dont know why that didnt end up separate from the other posts !!
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| June 1, 2007, 06:47 |
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