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Head over heals or slowly...
Do you fall head over heals in love or does it happen over time? Is love based on personality or is it based on physical attraction or both?
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| May 29, 2007, 16:01 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
I try, want to, need to love everyone on a platonic level first off...then the romantic, commitment worthy and sexual chemistry will happen from that....or maybe it won't.
I'm sure what I just said will make no sense at all to some...it's a part of me that I can explain easily
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| May 29, 2007, 17:22 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
slowly.
both.
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| May 29, 2007, 17:52 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
I hate words like: Bonding, chemistry, platonic and develop. They all sound cold and calculated like a artifficial lab experiment.
If our eyes meet and there is that instant connecting bright smile of mutual acceptance, Then I say jump right in to the rhytem of both hearts and let nature take its course  
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| May 29, 2007, 18:53 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
My way isn't for everyone..."Love is blind"....old cliche sure, but obsession, infactuation, etc...can lead to allot of regrets and mistakes.
I'm just trying to learn and live better through understanding my own mistakes, and those I've seen in others to give me and those around me, a more peaceful and loving existance.
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| May 29, 2007, 19:08 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
I like your method Chazzy, I've always been friends first, even though it may not have worked out, but just hopping into a relationship just cuz they are attractive, when you know nothing else about them other than they look hot, that doesn't sound like a long lasting relationship either.
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| May 29, 2007, 19:13 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
Thanks NRG! No I am not a cold person, nor calculating...if I love from a platonic foundation first, then I can want the best for the people I love, even if that means whats best for them is NOT to be involved with me....a crush, obessions, infactuation often brings on selfish, selfserving need in one to want to be a big part of the person's life they are infacutated with, in spite of whether it's good and right for them (the person one is infactuated with) or not.
My way, lets me love unconditionaly and truly.
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| May 29, 2007, 19:22 |
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smitty6044
80 / male
A whoop and a hollar from Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
Not really slowly but not the fairy tale" Love at First Sight" either. It took a few weeks to realize what was going on in my head that I understood on a purely emotional level but kept trying to ignore. It was not purely physical, but that helped too. We went to a party at a mutual friends house and she started feeling ill while we were there. I was having a good time and feeling no pain when it hit me that something was wrong with her. Instant sobriety and a real concern for her welfare hit me like the proverbial "ton of bricks" so I guess the best desciption here is delayed action. This was about a week after we had a long discussion about just dating and having fun and that I wasn't ready to commit until I was at least 35....hah, right out the window! We were married 7 months later! Ain't love grand?
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| May 29, 2007, 19:29 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
Twice already I have tried all that BS Lets be friends first, see if I like your family etc  ,,were not talking Marriage here! Lets have some fun right off the get go, you will have plenty of time to dip into each others creepy minds and split up later if it doesnt work out, we are not getting younger lets have some fun Now  
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| May 29, 2007, 19:33 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
Sure HH, I'm sure there are allot of people that carry that same belief and spirit that you do....it's all a matter of compatibility.
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| May 29, 2007, 19:42 |
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Re: Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 29, 2007, 19:08)My way isn't for everyone..."Love is blind"....old cliche sure, but obsession, infactuation, etc...can lead to allot of regrets and mistakes.
I'm just trying to learn and live better through understanding my own mistakes, and those I've seen in others to give me and those around me, a more peaceful and loving existance.
OLD CLICHE: It is better to have Love and Lost, then to have never loved at all. And Im thinking even if you have to do it over and over and over,,,,Forget about the mistakes and move on 
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| May 29, 2007, 19:48 |
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dave2big
81 / male
somewhere, Nebraska, US
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Re: Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (hothands @ May 29, 2007, 19:33)Twice already I have tried all that BS Lets be friends first, see if I like your family etc ,,were not talking Marriage here! Lets have some fun right off the get go, you will have plenty of time to dip into each others creepy minds and split up later if it doesnt work out, we are not getting younger lets have some fun Now
gotta go with you on this one ,hothands, all the rest ,CAN cum later !!...lol
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| May 29, 2007, 19:50 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
I gotta go with what works for me, what gives me a peaceful existence, what makes my soul happy...I'll continue to view all others on a platonic foundation first, ..."fuckability" isn't on the top of the list of what I prioritize as being a worthwhile and sole reason to get to know someone...or not.
I choose not to repeat some stupid mistakes, I'll not apologize for that, it works for me to learn from them.
I don't insist that anyone else take my way over their own,
Our lives and how we choose to live them is our own personal and individual decision.
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| May 29, 2007, 19:55 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (Juilianna @ May 29, 2007, 16:01)Do you fall head over heals in love or does it happen over time? Is love based on personality or is it based on physical attraction or both?
So maybe we've gone off topic? We're not talking about marraige but falling in love, which could lead to long term relationships and marraige...we are talking about falling in love...not NSA.
To answer this original question, why don't I just say "slowly"
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| May 29, 2007, 20:03 |
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Re: Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 29, 2007, 19:55)I gotta go with what works for me, what gives me a peaceful existence, what makes my soul happy...I'll continue to view all others on a platonic foundation first, ..."fuckability" isn't on the top of the list of what I prioritize as being a worthwhile and sole reason to get to know someone...or not.
I choose not to repeat some stupid mistakes, I'll not apologize for that, it works for me to learn from them.
I don't insist that anyone else take my way over their own,
Our lives and how we choose to live them is our own personal and individual decision.
Exactly my point while at the same time being a Meal Ticket for a Material Woman is not high on my priority list, where friendliness, sexuality and having fun together is! The Material shit and mental stress can surface and be delt with later, but the assurance of good times together has to be there first, this time around anyway.
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| May 29, 2007, 20:34 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
I have to admit "fuckability" remains high on my list, as that is what attracts me to them in the first place. Get to know them over time, if love develops then so-beit, meanwhile, just enjoy the ride. 
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| May 30, 2007, 05:36 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
When it comes to dating(when I was single) I was far more open, but falling in love...I take that slow.
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| May 30, 2007, 11:35 |
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stayhard43756
65 / male
stockport, Ohio, US
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (Juilianna @ May 29, 2007, 16:01)Do you fall head over heals in love or does it happen over time? Is love based on personality or is it based on physical attraction or both?
physical attraction is sex.
stay
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| May 30, 2007, 11:49 |
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Re: Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (Liberalwife @ May 30, 2007, 05:36)I have to admit "fuckability" remains high on my list, as that is what attracts me to them in the first place. Get to know them over time, if love develops then so-beit, meanwhile, just enjoy the ride.
YES! YES! YES! Thank you Liberalwife,,,  
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| May 30, 2007, 12:58 |
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Re: Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 30, 2007, 11:35)When it comes to dating(when I was single) I was far more open, but falling in love...I take that slow.
I think Falling head ofer heals in love could be just a state of mind at a givin momment especially now adays when most couples/friends are falling at different speeds and there are so many different definitions to the same words. I think all of us should be far more open in a new relationship with a friend and go for it, if not for any other reason, just so we dont become stagnant, old fashion, and boring in our sexual thoughts and desires or using them while trying to see if they will be good for our portfolio before having sex or falling in love.
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| May 30, 2007, 13:19 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
Actually, what I had in mind was really love, not adding someone to a portfolio...
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| May 30, 2007, 13:49 |
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Re: Re: Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (hothands @ May 30, 2007, 13:19) QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 30, 2007, 11:35)When it comes to dating(when I was single) I was far more open, but falling in love...I take that slow.
I think Falling head ofer heals in love could be just a state of mind at a givin momment especially now adays when most couples/friends are falling at different speeds and there are so many different definitions to the same words. I think all of us should be far more open in a new relationship with a friend and go for it, if not for any other reason, just so we dont become stagnant, old fashion, and boring in our sexual thoughts and desires or using them while trying to see if they will be good for our portfolio before having sex or falling in love.
But there are so many other things to do that will keep the sexual side more than stagnant, old fashion and boring. If you are not aware of them, then there are books. For me, I believe that there is someone for everyone, and I feel that I was lucky enough to find mine on the first time around. I am not sure she feels the same way, but I would not trade her for anything or anyone..... To sum it up, I feel that it could happen both ways. As for you HH, if I were single, or in a low time in my marriage, I could possible be thinging the same way you are.
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| May 30, 2007, 14:06 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
Very nice Troybuilt! Good thoughts...
I may not put my sexuality , sensuality, and passion up front and publicly very often, but what I have "running in the background"* is far from stale, stagnant, old fashioned or boring!
*running in the background....computer analogy..now isn't that just too damn cute?
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| May 30, 2007, 18:25 |
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Re: Re: Head over heals or slowly...
QUOTE (Juilianna @ May 30, 2007, 13:49)Actually, what I had in mind was really love, not adding someone to a portfolio...
So then why would you want to take it slowly, if your not having sex but are really falling in love,,,,what are we doing??? Just in LA-LA Land somewhere?? I mean Com'mon at least we have to find out if he has a job, no?
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| May 31, 2007, 19:28 |
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
Hey, you can have sex with a person you are falling in love with!
Falling in love doesn't mean you're not gonna have sex with them till after "the fall", it may mean just that for some, but not for all....I think we are talking about falling in love, does it happen over time, or does love happen right away for you personally...not the same as talking about at what point do you decide whether or not you're gonna have sex with someone.
It's a thread about falling head over heels in love...and there is not right or wrong answer to argue about....there's only each persons individual answer.
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| May 31, 2007, 19:56 |
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40something
57 / female
In the Sun, Arizona, US
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Re: Head over heals or slowly...
Head of heels is something that grabs you, I am very lucky to have someone to talk to though. Don't get me wrong - I love the heat we generate and I feel so comfortable and safe to explore with him, but with the crazy busy lives that we lead if we couldn't talk, share concerns, even fight well, then there wouldn't be anything to hold onto outside the bedroom (or kitchen, or living room floor haha)
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| June 1, 2007, 01:31 |
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