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Tell me I didn't do that.......
The other day, I'm standing in a hallway outside my doctors office, waiting for an elevator to reach my floor, when I had a sudden urge to relieve a gaseous pressure from my intestinal region. Thinking I was the only living organism in the hallway other than a few fern trees, I wound up, lifted my leg and let 'er rip. I was prepared to rate my performance on it's merits. Hey.....it's a guy thing!!
Little did I know at that exact moment, a nice looking 30 something woman was exiting another doctors office door just opposite the elevator door. The silence, not counting the echo effect after the infraction, was deafening. She just stood there starring at me. WTF was I gonna say? Nice day, isn't it? Surprisingly, I did not return the stare.
At that moment, I only wished I could've turn the clock back 10 seconds or so, 10 lousy seconds!! The elevator arrived at my floor, the door opened and she got on and I.......took the stairs! I know, sure as sh*t that I'll run into her again in that long echoey hallway.
I always get caught when I do things like this........Should I apologize the next time I see her? I guess I blew my chance to make a good first impression, huh? 
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| May 26, 2007, 22:16 |
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Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
No one has ever done that before! You should be ashamed of your self,,,, 
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| May 26, 2007, 22:24 |
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Re: Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
QUOTE (hothands @ May 26, 2007, 22:24)No one has ever done that before! You should be ashamed of your self,,,,
I do feel shame. I promise never to do that again! 
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| May 27, 2007, 00:14 |
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GG317
60 / male
Bowl of Granola, Massachusetts, US
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Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
You didn't do that...there I said it. Really you did do that, I'm just lying cause that's what friends are for...(Oopps did I think that out loud?..sorry.)...    
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| May 27, 2007, 00:18 |
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Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
I don't feel quite so bad now, seeing there are a few of us uncouth gentlemen here. 
As for you ladies, have you ever been guilty of anything approaching my inadvertent atmospheric anomaly?
Don't be shy....testify!!
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| May 27, 2007, 00:20 |
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smitty6044
80 / male
A whoop and a hollar from Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
I know they do, just more control (it's a gal thing)so little to no sound. Now down here in Texas farting is considered a competitive sport among the guys and an occasional cowgirl. Takes place drinking Bud off the tailgate, waitin' for the NASCAR gates to open for the big race or any other similar place. Beer farts are among the loudest!
Be honest ladies, everybody has to deal with flatulence. Tell us the REAL story.......
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| May 27, 2007, 01:46 |
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REALshedevil
66 / female
Richmond, Missouri, US
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Re: Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
QUOTE (smitty6044 @ May 27, 2007, 01:46)I know they do, just more control (it's a gal thing)so little to no sound. Now down here in Texas farting is considered a competitive sport among the guys and an occasional cowgirl. Takes place drinking Bud off the tailgate, waitin' for the NASCAR gates to open for the big race or any other similar place. Beer farts are among the loudest!
Be honest ladies, everybody has to deal with flatulence. Tell us the REAL story.......
My Mom always beat it into mine and my sisters heads that ladies don't do that in public! But at home we could let it rip. 
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| May 27, 2007, 08:09 |
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Re: Re: Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
QUOTE (REALshedevil @ May 27, 2007, 08:09) QUOTE (smitty6044 @ May 27, 2007, 01:46)I know they do, just more control (it's a gal thing)so little to no sound. Now down here in Texas farting is considered a competitive sport among the guys and an occasional cowgirl. Takes place drinking Bud off the tailgate, waitin' for the NASCAR gates to open for the big race or any other similar place. Beer farts are among the loudest!
Be honest ladies, everybody has to deal with flatulence. Tell us the REAL story.......
My Mom always beat it into mine and my sisters heads that ladies don't do that in public! But at home we could let it rip.
Oh, so you say you were home schooled? Wow, I guess I missed out on that bit of parenting...... 
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| May 27, 2007, 08:52 |
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Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
You can be such a colorful storyteller, VB!
Ya really can make the story come alive for sure!
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| May 27, 2007, 12:51 |
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Re: Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 27, 2007, 12:51)You can be such a colorful storyteller, VB!
Ya really can make the story come alive for sure!
Yes, when I read this I wanted to flee from the area myself... 
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| May 27, 2007, 13:16 |
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Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
I just got in the habit of excusing myself everytime I let one rip, so if anybody is around, it does not look quite so bad........
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| May 27, 2007, 23:53 |
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sweetnwet69z
61 / couple
Boise, Idaho, US
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Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
My ex-husband was always farting in public & embarrassing me. One day we were in the drug store looking for something in a particular aisle when I felt the gas building up. Deciding I was going to get him back (fart & leave) I turned around so he wouldn't see me trying not to laugh. It finally came, I farted out loud, turned around to find an older lady standing in the aisle with me. I ran & found my ex laughing uncontrollably a few aisles away. He had figured out very quickly what I was doing when I turned by back.
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| May 28, 2007, 10:18 |
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Re: Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
QUOTE (sweetnwet69z @ May 28, 2007, 10:18)My ex-husband was always farting in public & embarrassing me. One day we were in the drug store looking for something in a particular aisle when I felt the gas building up. Deciding I was going to get him back (fart & leave) I turned around so he wouldn't see me trying not to laugh. It finally came, I farted out loud, turned around to find an older lady standing in the aisle with me. I ran & found my ex laughing uncontrollably a few aisles away. He had figured out very quickly what I was doing when I turned by back.
At least that was one thing you two had in common and loved doing together, other than sex. A foundation to build a marriage on........ 
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| May 28, 2007, 10:28 |
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Re: Re: Re: Tell me I didn't do that.......
QUOTE (voyeurbill @ May 28, 2007, 10:28) QUOTE (sweetnwet69z @ May 28, 2007, 10:18)My ex-husband was always farting in public & embarrassing me. One day we were in the drug store looking for something in a particular aisle when I felt the gas building up. Deciding I was going to get him back (fart & leave) I turned around so he wouldn't see me trying not to laugh. It finally came, I farted out loud, turned around to find an older lady standing in the aisle with me. I ran & found my ex laughing uncontrollably a few aisles away. He had figured out very quickly what I was doing when I turned by back.
At least that was one thing you two had in common and loved doing together, other than sex. A foundation to build a marriage on........
Yeah, sounds like most relationships...built on hot air and bad smells???
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| May 28, 2007, 11:04 |
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