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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Rejection
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| May 18, 2007, 04:01 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Rejection
it hurts for men too 
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| May 18, 2007, 04:37 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Rejection
There might be certain ppl out there that it wouldn't bother, they can just go to the next one. But for the most part, it hurts both, men & women. We both require social activities, it's part of being human, even though we know at some point, it might be painful
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| May 18, 2007, 08:25 |
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dave2big
81 / male
somewhere, Nebraska, US
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Re: Rejection
yes, it does hurt...........
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| May 18, 2007, 08:40 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
Any kind of rejection will hurt someone, but it's how we deal with it that makes that hurt different. So i would just except it and move on, i mean it's their loss, if they don't want me!!!!!  
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| May 18, 2007, 11:37 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Re: Rejection
Exactly HB! Just accept the fact that they have decided to set their sights lower....
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| May 18, 2007, 11:53 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
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| May 18, 2007, 11:56 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Rejection
Hum, rejection, my middle name. I all ways get brushed off, ignored, etc, etc... I've had lots of experience with it, so its almost like water on a ducks back. 
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| May 18, 2007, 13:01 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Rejection
QUOTE (funlovingpair @ May 18, 2007, 13:01)Hum, rejection, my middle name. I all ways get brushed off, ignored, etc, etc... I've had lots of experience with it, so its almost like water on a ducks back.
It's their loss 
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| May 18, 2007, 13:46 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
I believe you move on and learn from your experience and deal with it the best you can...there's always hurt involved with rejection...
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| May 18, 2007, 13:57 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Rejection
I guess that is why I'm more quiet. and stay to myself more, then I don't have to deal with it.
Ma
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| May 18, 2007, 20:50 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
Rejection makes me try harder, I just point my energy in another direction...or take a different approach.
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| May 18, 2007, 23:12 |
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KINKYINTHEFALLS
56 / male
wild and wonderful, West Virginia, US
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Re: Rejection
I just consider it their loss and move on myself. 
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| May 18, 2007, 23:24 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
Yes it hurts! and when I get rejected,I hate to ask another woman out because I feel like there's something wrong with me and if I ask I'll just get rejected again,I guess that's why I don't go out much,I feel like what's the use?no one wants someone that looks like me!I'm sure that's wrong,but I wish women would give a guy a break and just be friendly with him and ask him to dance or go for a beer or just talk!as long as she lets him know what her intentions are,I'm sure it'll be okay,what do you think?
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| May 19, 2007, 00:22 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
...it hurts a lot more than most women think.
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| May 19, 2007, 01:41 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Re: Rejection
I was prompted to write this post, as a very good friend of mine has recently discovered her husband has been having an affair for the last year, and has now left her for his 'floozy'!. I'm kind of getting to a loss as to what to say to her now. I've run out of the usual, 'Your too good for him anyway'....'You deserve better'....blah blah blah.! Whatever i say, it just does not matter, she is devestated.
Help!!!!!!
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| May 19, 2007, 06:27 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
SNAP!!!! My friends husband has left her for her so called best mate. The best mate lost her husband to cancer last year and my friend was there for her all the way through. Then she uncaringly rips her family apart. I've come to the stage where i have said it all and not sure what else to say.
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| May 19, 2007, 07:17 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
Boy u two have a bad spot to be in I guess what I'd say is just be there for them most of the time when this happens there are underlining issues going on that either the one getting rejected didn't know about or didn't realize what was wrong with there relationship I've walk in those shoes being on both ends sometime they just want to have someone to vent too other time they want to know that even if there partner know longer wants them there are lots that still do it really a self esteem issue. It kinda like on line dating how many time do one or the other get rejected just by what the said or didn't say or just by how that looked on there profile pic. I think I done rambling hope it help a little anyway  
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| May 19, 2007, 11:10 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
Lib and HBB, I can't imagine how difficult this situation would be for you guys...my parents went through a very nasty divorce situation and my mom stayed bitter for years over my father's betrayal...things I wished I had done for her...
Be more positive and turn the attention from what had happened and work on getting her to a better place.
Focus on how she could get past this without actually talking about the betrayal...continually going over all things negative will never help you move past it.
Find a way to help her grieve her marriage, just like a death, in a loving positive way...help her move on with her life...it is our nature to be completely pissed off at the offending partner but it doesn't help our friend move on if we are bashing their sorry asses too (LOL, even if under your breath and in your heart you secretly feel like beating the crap out of them).
Try not to perpectuate the negative, get them out of the house for a shopping trip and lunch...let the sunshine soak into their skin and help give them a reason to move on and enjoy this new chapter in their life...it will not be easy but as their friends it is what we should do for them.
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| May 19, 2007, 11:47 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Re: Rejection
Juilianna , you are a star honey, ty
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| May 20, 2007, 06:35 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Rejection
QUOTE (Juilianna @ May 19, 2007, 11:47)Lib and HBB, I can't imagine how difficult this situation would be for you guys...my parents went through a very nasty divorce situation and my mom stayed bitter for years over my father's betrayal...things I wished I had done for her...
Be more positive and turn the attention from what had happened and work on getting her to a better place.
Focus on how she could get past this without actually talking about the betrayal...continually going over all things negative will never help you move past it.
Find a way to help her grieve her marriage, just like a death, in a loving positive way...help her move on with her life...it is our nature to be completely pissed off at the offending partner but it doesn't help our friend move on if we are bashing their sorry asses too (LOL, even if under your breath and in your heart you secretly feel like beating the crap out of them).
Try not to perpectuate the negative, get them out of the house for a shopping trip and lunch...let the sunshine soak into their skin and help give them a reason to move on and enjoy this new chapter in their life...it will not be easy but as their friends it is what we should do for them.
Thanks hun
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| May 20, 2007, 07:21 |
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rawk35
56 / couple
valley, Oregon, US
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Re: Rejection
part of life. pick my self up, hold chin high! believe in myself knowing the sun will rise tommorrow and i have a hell of a lot to offer! there loss. cmon, lets go. a whole world awaits!!   xoxo!!
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| May 21, 2007, 12:55 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Rejection
QUOTE (Liberalwife @ May 19, 2007, 06:27)I was prompted to write this post, as a very good friend of mine has recently discovered her husband has been having an affair for the last year, and has now left her for his 'floozy'!. I'm kind of getting to a loss as to what to say to her now. I've run out of the usual, 'Your too good for him anyway'....'You deserve better'....blah blah blah.! Whatever i say, it just does not matter, she is devestated.
Help!!!!!!
I remember what someone a little older and wiser did for me when I was so young and going through a horrible marraige break-up....they did not let me just wallow and cry, and talk on and on about it...they gave me some tough love, they told me "enough...it's over stop dwelling on it"
Sure seems kinda harsh, but if it wasn't for the sane reminders she gave me, if it wasn't for this tough lifeline, the constant wallowing would have sunk me into a clincal depression...oh sure, she allowed me a few break downs once in awhile, but she forced me to make that part of my life my past life...no other way to start moving ahead. It's nature to give so much sympathy, but maybe not so healthy sometimes...
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| May 22, 2007, 23:31 |
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Tungmeister
69 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Re: Rejection
I agree Chazzy. Too much sympathy for too long just prolongs & fuels their wallowing in their misery. They may need help focussing on anything but that particular crappy experience. Whatever that new diversion you may create for them may be, it's forcing them to some extent to make room inside themself for something else.
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| May 23, 2007, 13:10 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Re: Re: Rejection
QUOTE (Tungmeister @ May 23, 2007, 13:10)I agree Chazzy. Too much sympathy for too long just prolongs & fuels their wallowing in their misery. They may need help focussing on anything but that particular crappy experience. Whatever that new diversion you may create for them may be, it's forcing them to some extent to make room inside themself for something else.
Yeah at what Tung said....i'm gonna have to start a get tougher approach!
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| May 23, 2007, 14:53 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
I've found that turning my focus to those with much worse problems, makes my own seem not so much a big deal, putting things into proper perspective, nuttin' will make any woman realize she's actually lucky to have a man out of her life, than to volunteer to help abused women and battered women organizations! Sometimes a little volunteer work will make a person strong for others, being needed...can knock the hell out of being needy.
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| May 23, 2007, 17:25 |
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KINKYINTHEFALLS
56 / male
wild and wonderful, West Virginia, US
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Re: Rejection
personally I'd just go with the obvious. Ensure them that they are better off then with anyone that would treat a so called better half. And to remember that in time what goes around will come back on ya.
Just MHO
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| May 23, 2007, 20:27 |
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