This one made me laugh outloud, and gawd I needed that!!



MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS, GM SHOULD MAKE

SOFTWARE.

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared

the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry

has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got

1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press

release stating the following: "If GM had developed

technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the

following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a

day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would

have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no

reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn

would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in

which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you

bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more

seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,

was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to

drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights

would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going

off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would

lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously

lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the

radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe

set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even

though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to

delete this option would immediately cause the car's

performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would

have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the

controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.

FORD RULES!!!!!

FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Sorry bcb
OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
That sure as shit sounds like my car!

  QUOTE (Tease @ October 1, 2004, 05:25)


never said my ford was fast, 75mph tops but try stoppin that damn thing... the brakes barely get the job done!!