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Voids
Voids...little empty bits in our lives...what kind of "voids" do you have, and how do you try to fill them?
There are simple little voids, like how long you can go without hearing some music...and big voids, like social activity, being in love...
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| April 10, 2007, 15:10 |
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Re: Voids
OK...Juils is walking into Chazzy's office, she sits on the couch and reaches for the box of tissues...how much time to you have Dr. Chazz?
I have a list of voids in my life...I try to fill them with giggles and laughs with my children...shoes and purses in my closet, and posting in the forums...for the most part I'm a happy girl and I guess I'm lucky enough to recognize when something is missing in my life and find something positive to replace it with...
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| April 10, 2007, 18:43 |
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lizonya
64 / couple
lake elsinore, California, US
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Re: Voids
i always thought i'd be a mom. wasn't meant to be i guess but the hurt is real bad. it's an ache that has now subsided. i fill the void with the breeding of my vizslas. it'll have to do.
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| April 10, 2007, 18:59 |
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Re: Voids
Lizzy...you would be the best Mom ever and I wish I could still have little people 'cause for you I'd definately consider it!!!
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| April 10, 2007, 19:04 |
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Re: Re: Voids
QUOTE (lizonya @ April 10, 2007, 18:59)i always thought i'd be a mom. wasn't meant to be i guess but the hurt is real bad. it's an ache that has now subsided. i fill the void with the breeding of my vizslas. it'll have to do.
Liz, I don't have children either, and go through the same feelings...I've learned to look at it a different way...we (the childless) fill voids...in some of the most beautiful cultures, tribes and societies in the world (this does incluce the animal kingdom) the "aunts and uncles" play a huge roll and are a priceless resource. They can give a perspective to the parents and children that only they can give, when parents and children are too close to a problem, they often drive each other away trying to work it out. Parents and thier children are so close they often end up on opposite sides of things, and we are the "gray area" for them all.
It's the others without children who can help them work through it, give an unbiased shoulder and ear to all involved and keep things down to earth.
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| April 11, 2007, 10:08 |
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Re: Voids
Back in 1994, I took in my 14 y/o niece and her infant son. My wife and I had no kids and a 4 bedroom house with three bedrooms to fill. From that first day, my wife and I went from having no kids to having two! Talk about a radical change, we went from always being away on vacation and friends houses to staying home and being step-parents. That was a filled void in our lives.
My wife was always taking them shopping for new clothes and stuff. We went through some rough times but that was to be expected. My niece finally married the father of her baby and they just bought a house. The baby is now going on 15 and an honor student. I went into some serious debt having them live with us, but hey, they had a roof over their heads and a few journeys to DISNEY WORLD. We see each other at least once a week. I feel like I accomplished something!!!!!
If I had to do it all over again, I'd do the exact same thing!!!!! 
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| April 11, 2007, 10:36 |
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Re: Voids
VB you are a great guy and your niece is a lucky girl to have had you there for her.
Liz and Chazzy, you are both people i look up to and admire for the people you are, despite what life has thrown at you.
My void at the moment is my job, it isn't fulfilling/challenging enough, and at the moment it makes me feel like i am in limbo.
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| April 11, 2007, 10:45 |
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Re: Re: Voids
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ April 11, 2007, 10:45)VB you are a great guy and your niece is a lucky girl to have had you there for her.
Liz and Chazzy, you are both people i look up to and admire for the people you are, despite what life has thrown at you.
My void at the moment is my job, it isn't fulfilling/challenging enough, and at the moment it makes me feel like i am in limbo.
I thank you sweety! I'm no freakin' hero. I did what I thought was right at that time. She was always my favorite niece.
She joined a modeling school and I ended up going shopping with her and helping her choose what clothes to by for the pageants.
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Hey HOT, you're still a young lady. Don't stay at that job if it's no fun. Live a little, tell your present boss to kiss your beautiful ass and move on!!  
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| April 11, 2007, 11:09 |
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Re: Voids
VB - you are one fine & upstanding soul (but don't tell anyone I said so - you have a rep to keep up!)
HBG - I have just the opposite. I have loved my jobs & have become a work-a-holic. Probably filling the void of feeling productive and all.
As for me - the current void is to get back into coaching (soccer & baseball) and other projects (Habitat for Humanity, special Olympics, food kitchen help during the holidays). I really enjoyed the heck out of helping others. along the same lines of 'being a really useful "tank" engine!' 
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| April 11, 2007, 11:47 |
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Re: Re: Voids
QUOTE (ptr61dhn @ April 11, 2007, 11:47)VB - you are one fine & upstanding soul (but don't tell anyone I said so - you have a rep to keep up!)
HBG - I have just the opposite. I have loved my jobs & have become a work-a-holic. Probably filling the void of feeling productive and all.
As for me - the current void is to get back into coaching (soccer & baseball) and other projects (Habitat for Humanity, special Olympics, food kitchen help during the holidays). I really enjoyed the heck out of helping others. along the same lines of 'being a really useful "tank" engine!'
PTR, sounds like you are one concerned and giving sob! Keep on keepin' on!! 
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| April 11, 2007, 23:58 |
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smitty6044
80 / male
A whoop and a hollar from Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: Voids
As some of you know I recently lost my wife of 37 years. It's a big empty space to fill that seemed almost insurmountable at times but all of you good people and many friends from over the years have helped by "being there". I have volunteered for a group that goes to the DFW airport at 10 am every day to meet the troops returning from Iraq and "cheer them home". I am still looking for things to do and spending a lot more time on the computer too.
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| April 12, 2007, 02:45 |
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Re: Voids
I KNEW I came to the right place.
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| April 12, 2007, 04:31 |
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Re: Voids
Hey Smitty. That is a huge void to fill.
Very sorry to hear that.
But thanks for seeing the troops home. I know they feel good about that.
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| April 12, 2007, 12:16 |
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Re: Voids
Ahhh...good folk like Smitty sure fill some voids around here for us!
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| April 12, 2007, 12:29 |
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Re: Re: Voids
QUOTE (smitty6044 @ April 12, 2007, 02:45)As some of you know I recently lost my wife of 37 years. It's a big empty space to fill that seemed almost insurmountable at times but all of you good people and many friends from over the years have helped by "being there". I have volunteered for a group that goes to the DFW airport at 10 am every day to meet the troops returning from Iraq and "cheer them home". I am still looking for things to do and spending a lot more time on the computer too.
SMITTY, you are a very special individual.
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| April 12, 2007, 20:02 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Voids
I'm another one who never had kids, & my ex left when she thought I was gonna die from a explosion that left me burned badly from the waist up. Some voids that had a impact on me. But I fill them with my hunting, & camping & collecting indian artifacts. But mostly I fill it by flying aerial stunts at airshows. That huge rush of adrenaline, & excitement, & the danger will fill any void, well comes close anyway.
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| April 12, 2007, 20:15 |
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Re: Voids
NRG, ya do what ya gotta do to get up in the morning then decide whether to go on another day! Because we're all basically survivors, we somehow do what ever it takes.
I've had visions of ending it all sometimes but then my survival instincts kick in. I then get involved in whatever I have to do that day and I feel better about myself! It's not all bad...... 
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| April 13, 2007, 08:42 |
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Re: Voids
The only void for the past several years for me is the lack of intimacy from women. I am hoping that this void will be aleviated soon.
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| April 13, 2007, 11:46 |
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Re: Voids
My void right now, is that I'm really yearning for a nice sunny all day hiking around in unfamiliar wooded hills...is just something that eats at me if I don't get to do it often enough, sometimes just a slow drive down some old dirt lanes helps...
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| April 13, 2007, 12:27 |
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Re: Voids
I'll just put this out there...I have a huge void in my life right now that I'm really struggling with (kind of personal for even here) but I just feel pretty empty right now...sorry I'm not up to par right now...
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| April 13, 2007, 21:39 |
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