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What Floor Please.........
Have you ever been caught in a situation where either you or someone else farted and the odor was rather bad but you, for whatever reason, could not leave the area of the infraction?
Please be as specific as possible.
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I had that such an experience. I stepped into an elevator with an elderly woman. She said to me "what floor please" I said to her "fourth floor". Just then, a particularly odoriferous smell reached my nostrils. The woman must have smelled it at the same time, because she looked at me as to say "why you f**kin' pig you"! Now, I wasn't the dealer of that bit of global warming gas so it had to be her. I don't know what she ate that day but it had to be something like week old road kill or something!
Man, that elevator seemed to take forever to reach my floor. When it mercifully arrived at my floor, I got off only to see that the lady stayed on the elevator and another passenger got on after me. That poor soul probably thought I was the perpetrator of that crime.
:bow
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April 10, 2007, 03:44 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female north, England, UK
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Hey VB, You just put me right off my breakfast!!..
That's just too gross man,,,, .....lol!
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April 10, 2007, 04:44 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Excellent post VB, but i have to be honest and say, i'm a lady, i don't do things like that!!!!
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April 10, 2007, 04:50 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female north, England, UK
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Reminds me of the guy who farted at a dinner party, the bloke behind him taps him on the shoulder and says..'Hey, how dare you fart before my wife?'...He replies, 'Oh, i am sorry, i didn't realise it was her turn'.
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April 10, 2007, 04:54 |
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Re: What Floor Please.........
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April 10, 2007, 05:05 |
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Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ April 10, 2007, 04:50)
Come on HOT, p-l-e-a-s-e!! You do nasty things like that. Hell, you probably pull the covers over your head just to critique your own exhaust gases!! Do you rate yours 1-10, with 1 being the least stinky and 10 being week old "dead body" stinky? What's your average? Don't tell me you're "spring meadow" fresh!!
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April 10, 2007, 06:15 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What Floor Please.........
lmao!! well i can say, "my shit don't stink"!!!
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April 10, 2007, 07:22 |
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Re: Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 10, 2007, 06:15)
Ok VB, out of all the ones i have smelt, mine are the best by far!!!!!! Strong and silent, like the perfect guy!!
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April 10, 2007, 08:19 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ April 10, 2007, 08:19) QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 10, 2007, 06:15)
Ok VB, out of all the ones i have smelt, mine are the best by far!!!!!! Strong and silent, like the perfect guy!!
TOUCHE.......
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April 10, 2007, 09:01 |
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Re: What Floor Please.........
The only time i would be "touche" with you VB, is with my hands!!!!!
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April 10, 2007, 10:29 |
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Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (hotbubblegum @ April 10, 2007, 10:29)The only time i would be "touche" with you VB, is with my hands!!!!!
You could do that.......
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April 10, 2007, 10:49 |
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Re: What Floor Please.........
I don't have to pass gas, I bitch...
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April 10, 2007, 12:38 |
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Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (Juilianna @ April 10, 2007, 12:38)I don't have to pass gas, I bitch...
If I had to choose between a gross, disgusting blast from your past and you bitching at me...............uuuummmm, I'll take the fart! At least that'll dissipate pretty quickly. The bitching will never end!!
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April 10, 2007, 12:54 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 10, 2007, 12:54) QUOTE (Juilianna @ April 10, 2007, 12:38)I don't have to pass gas, I bitch...
If I had to choose between a gross, disgusting blast from your past and you bitching at me...............uuuummmm, I'll take the fart! At least that'll dissipate pretty quickly. The bitching will never end!!
LOL...and your point?
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April 10, 2007, 13:09 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What Floor Please.........
There was a time awhile back, when for some reason, I was not able to digest my carbs, sugars, or starches properly....and only left the house long enough to pick up more "Beano"....I'm glad that's all over with now..
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April 10, 2007, 14:06 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Damn must have been that skunk I ait last night
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April 10, 2007, 14:17 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Beer, sour kruat with polish saussage, baked beans, sports and farts.
What's more natural?
don't much care if anyone doesn't like my farts. Is much better than barfing on them.
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April 10, 2007, 19:41 |
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Jis4jugs
43 / couple Eastern, South Dakota, US
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Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 10, 2007, 03:44)Have you ever been caught in a situation where either you or someone else farted and the odor was rather bad but you, for whatever reason, could not leave the area of the infraction?
Please be as specific as possible.
----------------------------------------------------
I had that such an experience. I stepped into an elevator with an elderly woman. She said to me "what floor please" I said to her "fourth floor". Just then, a particularly odoriferous smell reached my nostrils. The woman must have smelled it at the same time, because she looked at me as to say "why you f**kin' pig you"! Now, I wasn't the dealer of that bit of global warming gas so it had to be her. I don't know what she ate that day but it had to be something like week old road kill or something!
Man, that elevator seemed to take forever to reach my floor. When it mercifully arrived at my floor, I got off only to see that the lady stayed on the elevator and another passenger got on after me. That poor soul probably thought I was the perpetrator of that crime.
:bow
Gonna go with no on this one??
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April 11, 2007, 06:05 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (Jis4jugs @ April 11, 2007, 06:05) QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 10, 2007, 03:44)Have you ever been caught in a situation where either you or someone else farted and the odor was rather bad but you, for whatever reason, could not leave the area of the infraction?
Please be as specific as possible.
----------------------------------------------------
I had that such an experience. I stepped into an elevator with an elderly woman. She said to me "what floor please" I said to her "fourth floor". Just then, a particularly odoriferous smell reached my nostrils. The woman must have smelled it at the same time, because she looked at me as to say "why you f**kin' pig you"! Now, I wasn't the dealer of that bit of global warming gas so it had to be her. I don't know what she ate that day but it had to be something like week old road kill or something!
Man, that elevator seemed to take forever to reach my floor. When it mercifully arrived at my floor, I got off only to see that the lady stayed on the elevator and another passenger got on after me. That poor soul probably thought I was the perpetrator of that crime.
:bow
Gonna go with no on this one??
What, NO, you've never released environmentally toxic gasses from your "down under" or No, you've never had the pleasure or displeasure of being trapped in a closed in space with another guilty party? We need a little more specificity please!!
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April 11, 2007, 06:15 |
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Jis4jugs
43 / couple Eastern, South Dakota, US
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Oh I've had my share of them. Nothing all too humilating than being out in public trying not to release anything. More like walking around like a penguin trying not to make any noises with weird looks coming from others because of it.
Hows that for you? Pretty embarrasing enough to mention that on here. Ha.
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April 11, 2007, 06:22 |
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Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (Jis4jugs @ April 11, 2007, 06:22)Oh I've had my share of them. Nothing all too humiliating than being out in public trying not to release anything. More like walking around like a penguin trying not to make any noises with weird looks coming from others because of it.
Hows that for you? Pretty embarrassing enough to mention that on here. Ha.
Now, that's more like it! Just wait 'til you hit my age, You won't care about having the walking farts. Hell, you might even lift a leg, just to give "it" more momentum and also keep from having an "accident"! Hey, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right!!!!!
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April 11, 2007, 07:29 |
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REALshedevil
66 / female Richmond, Missouri, US
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Re: What Floor Please.........
We have some friends that we have a tradition of going shopping with every year at Christmas. My hubs and this guy seem to have farting contests while we are out. One time my hubs ran over to a foyer where there was an elevator. He slipped over there to release some pressure. lol Much to his surprise, as he was walking away from the elevator, the door opened. A couple got off the elevator and were greeted by the aroma that had been left behind. My hubs gave himself away, because as the couple smelled the aroma they said Whoa! Somebody died! My hubs about dropped to the floor laughing. That experience hasn't stopped him one bit.
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April 11, 2007, 07:59 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female north, England, UK
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Re: Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 11, 2007, 07:29) QUOTE (Jis4jugs @ April 11, 2007, 06:22)Oh I've had my share of them. Nothing all too humiliating than being out in public trying not to release anything. More like walking around like a penguin trying not to make any noises with weird looks coming from others because of it.
Hows that for you? Pretty embarrassing enough to mention that on here. Ha.
Now, that's more like it! Just wait 'til you hit my age, You won't care about having the walking farts. Hell, you might even lift a leg, just to give "it" more momentum and also keep from having an "accident"! Hey, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right!!!!!
LMAO!! VB, man.....You are a friggin riot..!
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April 11, 2007, 08:05 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (Liberalwife @ April 11, 2007, 08:05) QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 11, 2007, 07:29) QUOTE (Jis4jugs @ April 11, 2007, 06:22)Oh I've had my share of them. Nothing all too humiliating than being out in public trying not to release anything. More like walking around like a penguin trying not to make any noises with weird looks coming from others because of it.
Hows that for you? Pretty embarrassing enough to mention that on here. Ha.
Now, that's more like it! Just wait 'til you hit my age, You won't care about having the walking farts. Hell, you might even lift a leg, just to give "it" more momentum and also keep from having an "accident"! Hey, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right!!!!!
LMAO!! VB, man.....You are a friggin riot..!
Hey cutie, I am so glad I amuse you by sharing a small piece of myself with you.
Please don't ruin my fantasy by telling me that you fart!! I'd be devastated......
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April 11, 2007, 08:10 |
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Jis4jugs
43 / couple Eastern, South Dakota, US
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 11, 2007, 08:10) QUOTE (Liberalwife @ April 11, 2007, 08:05) QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 11, 2007, 07:29) QUOTE (Jis4jugs @ April 11, 2007, 06:22)Oh I've had my share of them. Nothing all too humiliating than being out in public trying not to release anything. More like walking around like a penguin trying not to make any noises with weird looks coming from others because of it.
Hows that for you? Pretty embarrassing enough to mention that on here. Ha.
Now, that's more like it! Just wait 'til you hit my age, You won't care about having the walking farts. Hell, you might even lift a leg, just to give "it" more momentum and also keep from having an "accident"! Hey, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right!!!!!
LMAO!! VB, man.....You are a friggin riot..!
Hey cutie, I am so glad I amuse you by sharing a small piece of myself with you.
Please don't ruin my fantasy by telling me that you fart!! I'd be devastated......
PFFFFFFT!!!!! That's probably your turn on?!?! LMAO. Liberal... in that case, just let 'er rip...
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April 11, 2007, 10:37 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Hey LIB, just not during sex. It throws off my timing........
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April 11, 2007, 10:42 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female north, England, UK
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (Jis4jugs @ April 11, 2007, 10:37) QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 11, 2007, 08:10) QUOTE (Liberalwife @ April 11, 2007, 08:05) QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 11, 2007, 07:29) QUOTE (Jis4jugs @ April 11, 2007, 06:22)Oh I've had my share of them. Nothing all too humiliating than being out in public trying not to release anything. More like walking around like a penguin trying not to make any noises with weird looks coming from others because of it.
Hows that for you? Pretty embarrassing enough to mention that on here. Ha.
Now, that's more like it! Just wait 'til you hit my age, You won't care about having the walking farts. Hell, you might even lift a leg, just to give "it" more momentum and also keep from having an "accident"! Hey, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right!!!!!
LMAO!! VB, man.....You are a friggin riot..!
Hey cutie, I am so glad I amuse you by sharing a small piece of myself with you.
Please don't ruin my fantasy by telling me that you fart!! I'd be devastated......
PFFFFFFT!!!!! That's probably your turn on?!?! LMAO. Liberal... in that case, just let 'er rip...
LMAO! Missed you btw girl...
Relax VB, i don't do sex farts, but i am quite partial to frequent body 'pumps'....
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April 11, 2007, 10:56 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Hey LIB, that is disgusting.....I think.
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April 11, 2007, 11:12 |
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Jis4jugs
43 / couple Eastern, South Dakota, US
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Re: What Floor Please.........
Missed you too woman!!! I see you're in the lobby although I should go make myself useful..
farts here to release gas.... and a check for other__x___.
LMAO.
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April 11, 2007, 11:13 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female north, England, UK
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Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 11, 2007, 11:12)Hey LIB, that is disgusting.....I think.
Ummmm, no, not really disgusting VB,,,just the sound of two hot bodies slapping and squelching together? (Nothing to do with anal sounds.... )
Im kinda finding it hard to describe this one..(I am Brit, remember?) So for now i will just run and
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April 11, 2007, 11:35 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: What Floor Please.........
QUOTE (voyeurbill @ April 10, 2007, 12:54) QUOTE (Juilianna @ April 10, 2007, 12:38)I don't have to pass gas, I bitch...
If I had to choose between a gross, disgusting blast from your past and you bitching at me...............uuuummmm, I'll take the fart! At least that'll dissipate pretty quickly. The bitching will never end!!
Hey VB - now that I think of it - 'spot' on!!!
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April 11, 2007, 11:38 |
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