|
AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
|
Liberalwife
47 / female north, England, UK
|
Friends With Benefits
In order to have a successful " friend with benefits ", both of you need to have an almost crazed emotional obsession with another person. Therefore, you're so focused on getting with this other person that you have no time to look at your friend as anything other than a) your friend, and b) someone who you can get sex from when you need it. My old best friend and I found that this formula works beautifully. While I was determined to get back an ex boyfriend, he was determined to snag this girl who toyed mercilessly with his head. In the end, we both got the other people, and went our separate ways... but I can say that he was one of the nicest "quasi-relationships" I've ever had--I could be myself around him, he made me laugh, and we got to have sex on top of it. No commitment . No smothering the other person. Just plain good human connection.
------------------
We could all use a friend like this?
|
March 5, 2007, 04:11 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (Liberalwife @ March 5, 2007, 04:11)In order to have a successful " friend with benefits ", both of you need to have an almost crazed emotional obsession with another person. Therefore, you're so focused on getting with this other person that you have no time to look at your friend as anything other than a) your friend, and b) someone who you can get sex from when you need it. My old best friend and I found that this formula works beautifully. While I was determined to get back an ex boyfriend, he was determined to snag this girl who toyed mercilessly with his head. In the end, we both got the other people, and went our separate ways... but I can say that he was one of the nicest "quasi-relationships" I've ever had--I could be myself around him, he made me laugh, and we got to have sex on top of it. No commitment . No smothering the other person. Just plain good human connection.
------------------
We could all use a friend like this?
So are you busy this weekend? :hum:
|
March 5, 2007, 06:24 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
I don't think that haveing interest in "getting" another is important in a FWB arrangement. The FWB relationships I've have been as good friends that can have sex .
FRankly, the sex is much hotter when you are friends and nothing more.
|
March 5, 2007, 09:21 |
|
nykitten
54 / female Pawling, New York, US
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
I know I could use a friend like that!....NO DOUBT!
|
March 5, 2007, 10:07 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
I agree with you Liberal we all can use a friend like that..FWB is a sure healthy thing in life.
|
March 5, 2007, 10:10 |
|
nykitten
54 / female Pawling, New York, US
|
Re: Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (nykitten @ March 5, 2007, 10:07)I know I could use a friend like that!....NO DOUBT!
My only problem is that my heart is just too big for that to work for me....
|
March 5, 2007, 10:17 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (nykitten @ March 5, 2007, 10:17) QUOTE (nykitten @ March 5, 2007, 10:07)I know I could use a friend like that!....NO DOUBT!
My only problem is that my heart is just too big for that to work for me....
yes Ny you do have a bid heart..maybe that is something for you to overcome for it to work for you..
|
March 5, 2007, 10:32 |
|
nykitten
54 / female Pawling, New York, US
|
Re: Re: Re: Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (jaback @ March 5, 2007, 10:32) QUOTE (nykitten @ March 5, 2007, 10:17) QUOTE (nykitten @ March 5, 2007, 10:07)I know I could use a friend like that!....NO DOUBT!
My only problem is that my heart is just too big for that to work for me....
yes Ny you do have a bid heart..maybe that is something for you to overcome for it to work for you..
My problem is, I like having a big heart, its just I end up giving all I have and then when I have nothing left to give, I get bitter.....I don't want to be bitter!
Yet I love to help people, and I love to "love"
|
March 5, 2007, 10:42 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (nykitten @ March 5, 2007, 10:17) QUOTE (nykitten @ March 5, 2007, 10:07)I know I could use a friend like that!....NO DOUBT!
My only problem is that my heart is just too big for that to work for me.... i kinda feel the same way...my heart tends to lead me into trouble...
|
March 5, 2007, 11:08 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
I have two categories.
The FWB like Liberal talks about.
You get to know them, do other things, but have sex if the time is right.
On the other hand, I had a true FB once.
I wanted to have it more like FWB, but she just wanted a FB. Hey, after I figured that out, who am I to complain.
It went great until I started dating someone else. Then she became the 9 1/2 Weeks girl.
That was scary.
Maybe FWB is better.
|
March 5, 2007, 11:30 |
|
Liberalwife
47 / female north, England, UK
|
Re: Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (ptr61dhn @ March 5, 2007, 11:30)I have two categories.
The FWB like Liberal talks about.
You get to know them, do other things, but have sex if the time is right.
On the other hand, I had a true FB once.
I wanted to have it more like FWB, but she just wanted a FB. Hey, after I figured that out, who am I to complain.
It went great until I started dating someone else. Then she became the 9 1/2 Weeks girl.
That was scary.
Maybe FWB is better.
Good point Ptr...obsessed 'bunny boilers' are strictly off the menu !!
Strictly NSA on both sides!
|
March 5, 2007, 14:42 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
well how is that for timing? I was just thinking of having a "friends" reunion party...
sounds like a good relationship Liberal...and if you both are cool with it...and sex is just the "side dish" then...go for it..
How bout a "friendly" game of lawn bawling?
|
March 5, 2007, 23:38 |
|
funlovingpair
59 / couple Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
Wouldn't mind that at all, as long as it was with the hot ladies here.....
|
March 6, 2007, 01:37 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
A friend like that would be nice. But alas the world isn't perfect.
|
March 11, 2007, 04:42 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
Just a few words I myself am going through that same thing right now ive had my "friend' now for about 6 months. Ive been told by others that a majority of people in this kind of a relationship end up together in the end. I was told that when you spend time together outside the bedroom as in going to the movies or whatever you start seeing qualities in the other that you never seen before which makes the other person more appealing and you relize that you enjoy there company.. But i say it's personal choice if you allow to let your feelings get in the way if this is not what you want get out before it starts.
|
March 11, 2007, 12:33 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
I would enjoy having a friend with benefits . Unfortunately, I am shy around girls in real life, so have difficulty getting to the "friend" part.
Alas, this is one reason I'm still a virgin.
Any girls care to help me out?
|
March 12, 2007, 00:52 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
I had a friend with benefits but I guess she got hooked up with someone else or the 580 mile round trip was too much for her.I guess I'm out of luck again.
|
March 12, 2007, 11:21 |
|
funlovingpair
59 / couple Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
|
Re: Friends With Benefits
I guess I'm gonna be strange and say that is not something i think i would care for. I'm sure it works for some but i think it would be hard not to get or want to be more involved with that person.
Ma
|
March 15, 2007, 17:29 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (funlovingpair @ March 15, 2007, 17:29)I guess I'm gonna be strange and say that is not something i think i would care for. I'm sure it works for some but i think it would be hard not to get or want to be more involved with that person.
Ma
I agree that was the point i was getting to in my post i really think there is noway you can't have absalutly no feelings for the other when your finished. There was obviously a physical attraction to begin with.
|
March 15, 2007, 18:40 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (Pierced1 @ March 15, 2007, 18:40) QUOTE (funlovingpair @ March 15, 2007, 17:29)I guess I'm gonna be strange and say that is not something i think i would care for. I'm sure it works for some but i think it would be hard not to get or want to be more involved with that person.
Ma
I agree that was the point i was getting to in my post i really think there is noway you can't have absalutly no feelings for the other when your finished. There was obviously a physical attraction to begin with.
It can be a physical attraction depending on many different things, like where you met, how you met, etc., but.. you mix the physical with the others? you don't know what is really there, yeah in tne beginning it's all roses, but then what happens after a few months or so, wondering what is really there, it is real or emptinees? You can't base a relationship on just physical, there is more to it. Time is the key to any form of relationship. So friends with benefits are limited and its what you desire out of a realtionship, if you just want friends with benefits (physical) go for it!!
|
March 15, 2007, 18:58 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Re: Re: Friends With Benefits
QUOTE (Samms @ March 15, 2007, 18:58) QUOTE (Pierced1 @ March 15, 2007, 18:40) QUOTE (funlovingpair @ March 15, 2007, 17:29)I guess I'm gonna be strange and say that is not something i think i would care for. I'm sure it works for some but i think it would be hard not to get or want to be more involved with that person.
Ma
I agree that was the point i was getting to in my post i really think there is noway you can't have absalutly no feelings for the other when your finished. There was obviously a physical attraction to begin with.
It can be a physical attraction depending on many different things, like where you met, how you met, etc., but.. you mix the physical with the others? you don't know what is really there, yeah in tne beginning it's all roses, but then what happens after a few months or so, wondering what is really there, it is real or emptinees? You can't base a relationship on just physical, there is more to it. Time is the key to any form of relationship. So friends with benefits are limited and its what you desire out of a realtionship, if you just want friends with benefits (physical) go for it!!
what the hell: if you hve the discipline to "eat your cake without the frosting" then so be it..go for it!!
|
March 16, 2007, 08:56 |
|
|