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Partners past
in theory i'm a firm believer that a person's past is not my concern... period.
but what if you gather up little stories, facts, etc over time and combined with a few incidents that have happened since you met your partner...that seem to add up to a "big picture" that leaves you wondering just how loyal/faithful they could ever really be.
should you ask for the details just to be certain? or write it off as the insecurity it is and hope you get over it in time?
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| February 6, 2007, 17:34 |
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Re: Partners past
btw a number here know BCB+BC is more than online... i occasionally ask serious(ish) questions like this one here. some are based on my own life experiences (and then embellished) most are not. most are spurred by some random conversation in the day that sparked a thought. it's truly rare that i post anything actually "personal"
just sayin, dont assume i'm talking about any person in particular (unless i call you out by name LOL) in ANY post.
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| February 6, 2007, 17:39 |
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Re: Partners past
Are partners past the same as the ghosts of Christmas past??
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| February 6, 2007, 19:19 |
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Re: Partners past
If you're unsure or want a better understanding on something, then I'd ask. Rather than assuming something that might not even be.
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| February 6, 2007, 19:47 |
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Re: Partners past
Asking would be the best policy...my issues have been when you ask and don't get a straight answer...mistrust usually arises which is detrimental to a relationship.
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| February 6, 2007, 20:12 |
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darkmark666
52 / male
millville, New Jersey, US
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Re: Partners past
Asking is a good idea...of course, if what you suspect is true...then they should have no problem lying, right? Damn it! 
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| February 7, 2007, 00:55 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Partners past
If you ask, how do you know that your getting the truth? Or maybe the answer is only what they think you'll want to hear. My philosophy is, what's in the past, is in the past, no sense in digging up a dead horse.
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| February 7, 2007, 01:22 |
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Re: Partners past
I have to agree, you may get the answer they know you want to hear. Just because things have happened in the past, doesn't mean they will do it in the future. They maybe different. Mistrust is a hard thing to cope with, but in time trust will grow.
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| February 7, 2007, 03:00 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Partners past
I agree too. We all have our ghosts that we keep hidden away, bringing up your past isn't gonna help anything
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| February 7, 2007, 06:32 |
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lot2luv41965
59 / female
west of Atlanta, Georgia, US
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Re: Partners past
Hey if it is a NSA realtionship, than heck with it.
If it is one to keep on going to see where it leads-then ask away!
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| February 7, 2007, 12:53 |
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smitty6044
80 / male
A whoop and a hollar from Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: Partners past
Yep, we all have our "skeletons in the closet". Better left alone cuz they can get in the way. The past is over (or should be) and you need to concentrate on "now" and "future" with the person you are committed to.
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| February 8, 2007, 00:41 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Re: Partners past
Past is past....end of !
There are some things that if i told anyone,,well, id hsve to kill them...!! 
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| February 8, 2007, 09:09 |
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Re: Partners past
the past is the past...put it behind you...forget about it and learn from it..just dont let history repeat itself if it was not a positive experience.
live in the present with an eye on the future...
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| February 9, 2007, 00:21 |
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Re: Partners past
I am the ghost of refried beans past oooh oooh ooohhhh but seriuosly folks ,wish I had known more about my last girlfriends past ,never would have bought her that diamond or that plymouth or anything else for that matter , I would have known the BS I was in for ,I tried to take a piece of crap and mold it into a soulmate ,and I really wish I had more info beforehand but the little voice inside my head kept saying its only money ,youre investing in your future here, what a waste.
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| February 9, 2007, 06:05 |
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Re: Re: Partners past
QUOTE (jd39l @ February 9, 2007, 06:05)I am the ghost of refried beans past oooh oooh ooohhhh but seriuosly folks ,wish I had known more about my last girlfriends past ,never would have bought her that diamond or that plymouth or anything else for that matter , I would have known the BS I was in for ,I tried to take a piece of crap and mold it into a soulmate ,and I really wish I had more info beforehand but the little voice inside my head kept saying its only money ,youre investing in your future here, what a waste.
which head was that little voice coming from?
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| February 9, 2007, 12:13 |
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Re: Partners past
for me, the past is the past, and it should not play a part in the future, unless someone comes back into their life, and starts causing waves. Then it could become important. Otherwise, leave it alone.
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| February 9, 2007, 21:30 |
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40something
57 / female
In the Sun, Arizona, US
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Re: Partners past
I think it depends on what information you are looking for? If all you want is details to judge then you sound like you have already made up your mind about the other person - if you can ask in generalities -- such as, "have you had trouble trusting your boyfriend when he goes out with the guys?" then you can work on avoiding issues that may come up in the future. Issues need to be discussed - details are private and usually only shared to relieve personal guilt and just hurt your significant other.
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| February 9, 2007, 22:53 |
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