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User no longer registered.
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Outward appearances...
We all know, and feel....that no one be judged by their appearance, not to "judge a book by it's cover".
Although...we all seem to live with a double standard of this.
If we have an interview for a job we really want, we'll shave closer, choose a somewhat more "appropriate" clothing and hair styles, and even take out some of our body jewelry from their piercings...we expect to be judged by our appearance, and if we conform properly, it'll give us an edge to getting that job that we really want.
Same for dealing with clients and customers, we put on different "airs" and appearance when dealing with the public as part of our job, we put our best foot forward and dress according when we know we will be mixing with a more public or conservative crowd...like at our children's PTA meetings, or a church or civil function.
Is it disrespectful for someone to expect the world to see past their personal appearance as being inappropriate to the setting or occasion?
Since "conformity" does make up just about everything that is sociology, how much conformity is expected as a show of respect for your fellow citizens?
You expect to be judged on your appearance, so you wear clean clothes, comb your hair, use cosmetics, brush your teeth, etc...is it so wrong to judge others by their appearances? Do you really want a waitress that has yellow teeth and bad breath? Don't some employers and occupations actually show respect for their customers and clients by insisting on dress codes, uniforms, etc...not as a way of clobbering ones civil rights, or personal freedoms, but as a method of making sure they are showing their clients and customers a simple courtesy or respect?
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| December 14, 2006, 11:13 |
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Re: Outward appearances...
This post is just one of those deep thought things.....when you get past all the rant like stuff...the question is...
Do we have a double standard going on? We work never to judge others by personal appearance, but we also expect others to judge us by our appearances...
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| December 14, 2006, 11:23 |
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Tungmeister
69 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
Just have good manners, neat, clean clothes, face and hands, combed hair and respect for the other person. 
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| December 14, 2006, 13:06 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Outward appearances...
We are all judged by our personal appearances and its the first appearance that we are judged by most, and wether we admit it or not we judge others by there appearance also, although I would have to say that the minute fraction of people who do not judge others to a certain extent probably do not own a toothbrush, comb or make-up, or else they are possibly brain dead. Even here at Webnaughty, judging others is of great magnitude. There are different types of judging also,Your physical Looks, what people may think of you and what you may think of others Etc. I would have to say that is why lots of members have not posted a photo.And not because they dont have a photo or camera. The proof is in the pudding.
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| December 16, 2006, 04:56 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Outward appearances...
That's one of the plus sides to meeting people on here. You can get to know the person find out their personality and you haven't seen what they look like. I only send a face picture to them once i have got to know them, and don't generally mind whether i have seen them or not. It's good to get to know the person.
But in my job i do make that extra effort, i have to follow a dress code whilst in the school, which isn't me!! I however do not remove any piercings. 
I have to admit, i have judge people by their cover and been pleasently surprised, so now i try not to. 
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| December 16, 2006, 05:08 |
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KINKYINTHEFALLS
56 / male
wild and wonderful, West Virginia, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
I have always tried not to pass judgment on anyone before getting to know them. There are to many stereotypes that would lead to missing many really nice, quality people and friends. Just MHO 
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| December 16, 2006, 09:48 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Outward appearances...
In my profession it is very important to "look the part" and each day I have an expectation of myself to be professional as I deal with a diverse group of people. So, every day I go to work it is about "putting on the dog" and I must admit there are days it is difficult to do so. While I expect this of myself I do expect my staff to dress in the same manner, while jeans are out of the question because they are against the office dress code, I encourage everyone to dress how they wish (as long as all body parts are appropriately covered...LOL...even if I do show more cleavage than anyone else) because I feel that a teamwork environment is based on individuality.
We have a neighbor that is covered in "body art" and he one of the kindest people I've ever met. No one would believe that we could be friends but he is an amazing person and if I hadn't seen past the "artwork" on the outside I never would have been able to see the amazing person he is on the inside.
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| December 16, 2006, 10:59 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Outward appearances...
At times, I just dress however I want, and get the "I don't give a shit attitude" of what people think. I am not trying to impress anyone while I am at work, but I do still like to be clean, either hair combed or a hat on, clean clothes, but sometimes I just let the shaving go, because I can. But when I go out with my family, I usually try to look good, because I don't want them to be embarrassed by my appearance.
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| December 16, 2006, 11:14 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
In my line of work, I deal with the public, distributors, city council, engineers. Although I don't wear a suit to work, I feel like I need to keep a certain degree of neatness, a shower & shave every morning, clean clothes, even though they may not stay that way. But this is a small town, the people very close & friendly. Word of mouth here can make you or break you. I stay busy year round in this small town without doing any advertisement. There are a few other construction companies here, their guys go around wearing ragged , torn & greasy clothes. But I see them sitting on their porches a lot, & they often come up & ask me to send them some work if I get more than I can handle, or jobs I really don't want. I do sub-contract most of my roofing jobs out, just cuz I don't like to shingle, & I have other jobs lined up that pay better. I won't even allow my guys to wear ragged clothing, not only for appearance, but ragged clothing can get caught in drills, saws, & U-joints. But point is though, your appearance here does make a difference on whether you stay busy or not. My dad always hated long hair since the days of the hippies, long hair doesn't bother me, as long as it's kept clean, combed or tied back.
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| December 16, 2006, 16:28 |
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pashonitpurp8tor
61 / male
Sierra Nevada Foothills, California, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
Of course personal hygiene is numero uno. I have been surprised by outward appearances. The book can not always be judged by it's cover. In fact in my experience 5 out of 10 times its off base. I say break the visual appearance barrier or you will unlikely never get to know who your really talking too. Use common sense that really is the key.Body language is informative. Try the eyes they seldom lie. Ok I'll take off my sunglasses..lol nuffsaid 
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| December 16, 2006, 19:59 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Outward appearances...
Dont usually mention this but I usually wear my hair down for one reason.
You see my hair up, don't get used to it. 
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| December 17, 2006, 00:33 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Outward appearances...
up or down I would take you either way
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| December 17, 2006, 07:22 |
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GG317
60 / male
Bowl of Granola, Massachusetts, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
I've been told by women that my outward appearance says that I'm forboding, but when they get to know me, I'm really the exact opposite (Looking Mean to Teddy-Bear)... 
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| December 18, 2006, 07:17 |
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pepper
56 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: Re: Outward appearances...
QUOTE (GentleGiant388 @ December 18, 2006, 07:17)I've been told by women that my outward appearance says that I'm forboding, but when they get to know me, I'm really the exact opposite (Looking Mean to Teddy-Bear)...
Hon, your personality will give the teddy bear part away every time. Mean looking? to me you don't look like you have a mean bone in your body....  wanna show me that bone?
  
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| December 18, 2006, 09:22 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Outward appearances...
I'm with you, Pepper! I don't see forboding there at all, nothing feels safer to me than being in a real "bear" hug!
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| December 18, 2006, 09:36 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Outward appearances...
GG mean??? NO! Sexy - yes!
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| December 18, 2006, 10:27 |
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pepper
56 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: Re: Outward appearances...
QUOTE (CKTC @ December 18, 2006, 10:27)GG mean??? NO! Sexy - yes!
Very!
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| December 19, 2006, 06:26 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
I cannot count how many jobs interviews I lost, all because I had a full beard. I was even lucky on some to get an interview. I still haven't figured out how having a beard affected my ability to do a job that didn't require my face to be used for something other sitting on my shoulders. 
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| December 19, 2006, 18:41 |
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lizonya
64 / couple
lake elsinore, California, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
i was in the hospital waiting room for the women's clinic all day yesterday and there was a hispanic woman there talking to her friend. she was just staring at me because of my bald head. i smiled at her and she just kept glaring. not very nice at all. some ppl go out of their way to be nice and some simply don't get it at all. i like style no matter what. everyone has their own. god love diversity.
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| December 19, 2006, 19:17 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
Does that mean you'll be  me for starring at your hot sexy womanly body.
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| December 19, 2006, 19:21 |
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lizonya
64 / couple
lake elsinore, California, US
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Re: Outward appearances...
yes, but if i smile at you you better smile back!
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| December 19, 2006, 19:22 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Re: Outward appearances...
QUOTE (lizonya @ December 19, 2006, 19:22)yes, but if i smile at you you better smile back!
of course, but only with that little twinkle in my eye.
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| December 19, 2006, 19:48 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Re: Outward appearances...
QUOTE (lizonya @ December 19, 2006, 19:17)i was in the hospital waiting room for the women's clinic all day yesterday and there was a hispanic woman there talking to her friend. she was just staring at me because of my bald head. i smiled at her and she just kept glaring. not very nice at all. some ppl go out of their way to be nice and some simply don't get it at all. i like style no matter what. everyone has their own. god love diversity.
Lizzy, there are times such as that, when I wish you had some of my temperment. A case such as that, I would have loudly said"What The Fuck Are You Staring At"? If I didn't like her answer,the next response would be introduce the bitch to the back side of my hand. Sorry, but if people piss me off, I respond, just as I will if people show me a little kindness & respect.
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| December 19, 2006, 20:54 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Outward appearances...
QUOTE (lizonya @ December 19, 2006, 19:17)i was in the hospital waiting room for the women's clinic all day yesterday and there was a hispanic woman there talking to her friend. she was just staring at me because of my bald head. i smiled at her and she just kept glaring. not very nice at all. some ppl go out of their way to be nice and some simply don't get it at all. i like style no matter what. everyone has their own. god love diversity.
Sounds like you need me to go with you to the hospital...nobody is staring at my buddy with me around...we'll make a scene, I will get you to giggling and laughing and then everyone around us will be in stitches...I wish I was closer my sweet friend, I'd be there with you and I just might shave my head bald so we could match!
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| December 20, 2006, 07:50 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Re: Re: Outward appearances...
QUOTE (Juilianna @ December 20, 2006, 07:50) QUOTE (lizonya @ December 19, 2006, 19:17)i was in the hospital waiting room for the women's clinic all day yesterday and there was a hispanic woman there talking to her friend. she was just staring at me because of my bald head. i smiled at her and she just kept glaring. not very nice at all. some ppl go out of their way to be nice and some simply don't get it at all. i like style no matter what. everyone has their own. god love diversity.
Sounds like you need me to go with you to the hospital...nobody is staring at my buddy with me around...we'll make a scene, I will get you to giggling and laughing and then everyone around us will be in stitches...I wish I was closer my sweet friend, I'd be there with you and I just might shave my head bald so we could match!
Yea well I'm gonna stare at both of you. Hope ya don't mind the drool with the tongue hanging out the side of my mouth. It would be the puppy dog coming out in me. OH and that's not my tail that's wagging either.
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| December 20, 2006, 20:00 |
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