i posted some here. wonder where they went.

How can ya tell a blondes having a bad day?








She cant find her pencil and her tampons behind her ear....hehe

  QUOTE (Tease @ August 24, 2004, 23:15)
Ouch! I'll bet she's wondering why her last lover could suddenly keep it up all night long!!

She cant find her pencil and her tampons behind her ear....hehe

what is a blonde with her hair dyed dark?

artifical intelligince

Hillbilly Vasectomy

After having their 11th child, a North Georgia Mountain couple decided 11 was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.

A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in the North Georgia Mountains), light it, put it in an empty beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world,but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me, " said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, North and South Carolina, West Virginia, Arkansas and parts of Alabama.

funny, but you are now on p.o.s.s.u.m.'s hit list. i'd be real careful from now on, were i you.



bawbie didn't write this here note.

Uh oh!

LMAO@y'all!

  QUOTE (MoonHowler @ August 27, 2004, 10:16)
Y'all? Reminds of a comerical I heard here. A reporter is talkind to a real southern-belle, you know the accent. He asked her, "so what do you say when it's one person?" She replies " we say y'all." He asks "what do you say when it's two people?" She replies We still say y'all." The reporter " well what do you say when it's a group of people?" Her reply, " then we say, all y'all!" Got love those southern-belles!!

Age Appropriate Registration

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
--------------------------
As old as you feel...

Two Walmart greeters were sitting on a bench during break. One turns to the other asking, "Slim, I'm 73 years old and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you are about my age. How do you feel? Slim says, " I feel just like a new born babe." Rather amazed his coworker repeats his statement in the form of a question, "Really? A new born babe?" Yup," grins Slim, " No teeth, No hair and I think I just wet my pants."
----------------------------
Remedy

An elderly gentleman went to the drugstore and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist asked, "How many?" The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces." The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. It won't get you through intercourse." The old fellow replied, "Oh, I'm well past 80 and I don't think about sex any more. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

  QUOTE (bawbie @ August 27, 2004, 00:41)
Ok! I heard you the first time. I didn't post that there joke!

well, now it's time for the physist joke------


there was an airline that had a flight to warsaw once a week. but every time, just before it landed, the plane would crash.
after exhastive investigations,the authorities could find no reason for the plane to crash.
finaly it was decided to send an expert pilot with them to see if he could discover the reason.
the flight was entirely uneventful, until, about 20 minutes before landing.
the flight attendant made an annoucement. "to make it easier to get through customs, i would like all the visitors to move to the left side of the plane. all polish nationals, please move to the right side"
and that is why the plane crashed.

because all the poles were on the right half-plane!

echoing silence.

well, it used to roll'em in the aisles at the mensa meetings.

What did one sagging boob, say to the other sagging boob?



we better perk up or they will think we are nuts heard it on the radio