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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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comparisons
Since the beginning of time, men and women have had comparisons made about
them. Here are a few examples.
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Shorty
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in
$20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a
bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL LOOKS
Men wake up as good-looking as they were when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and
dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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You're not sure of:
THE DOCTOR: because he says, "Take off your clothes"
THE DENTIST: because he says, "Open wide"
THE HAIRDRESSER: because he says, "Do you want it teased or
blown"
THE MILKMAN: because he says, "Do you want it in the front or
the back"
THE INTERIOR DECORATOR: because he says, "Once it's in,
you'll love it."
THE SHARE BROKER: because he says, "It will rise right up,
fluctuate for a while and then slowly fall back again"
THE BANKER: because he says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll
lose interest"
THE HUNTER: because he "Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice
and always eats what he shoots"
THE BELL TELEPHONE GUY: because he says, "Would you like
it on the table or against the wall?"
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| November 14, 2006, 05:44 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: comparisons
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| November 14, 2006, 05:49 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: comparisons
I am going to crack a rib, laughing so hard, ROFLMAO
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| November 14, 2006, 06:01 |
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