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Pre-nuptials
What's your POV on pre-nuptial agreements?
Would you be deeply offended if you beloved intended ask you to sign one?
Is it just a smart thing to do, considering the divorce rate, or does it just mean you're entering into a marriage with the non-commitment thought of "If and when it does end..."
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| November 12, 2006, 08:42 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Pre-nuptials
i can understand why they have one, but if ever i got married i would not need one because i believe when you marry it is for life( it should be) but now a lot just do it for the money not for the love so hence the pre-nuptials, maybe i am living in the past but when i marry it would be for the love we have and the fact i want to spend the rest of my life with her, not how rich she is etc, all i want is her love and respect 
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| November 12, 2006, 08:52 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Pre-nuptials
Given my past experiences with marriage, & knowing what my artifacts are worth, & how much time & money I've put into the airplane, I would have no choice but to make sure nothing happened to them should the marriage not last. I know the vows read "till death do us part", but seems like they should add the words, "unless I see a better deal come my way"
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| November 12, 2006, 09:18 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
Material Possesions.. What a heavy load we carry...After my last divorce,I had nothing left..not even a place to live. Yes, I became homeless... I learned this much. You can't take it with you is probably the truest words ever spoken..!!!!  
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| November 12, 2006, 09:23 |
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Tungmeister
69 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Re: Pre-nuptials
When I was in my 20s & 30s I heard about the occassional "pre-nup" occurring (much less common then and pretty much a "celebrity" thing) and in my naive, idealistic, romantic mind thought that to be a very cold, pragmatic approach to a what should be a loving, committed, "lifetime" relationship. Well now I'm much more realistic, even cynical and at my age would never blindly put myself in the position of losing everything and having to rebuild my life again. Definitely would go with the pre-nup no matter how much "ass-end-over-tea kettle" in love I was!
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| November 12, 2006, 10:35 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
When I was younger I didn't think they were necessary because youth doesn tend to cloud one's judgement...and you are usually beginning life together and have very little to fight over. When you are older (like me) and there is more than a broken heart at stake I think a prenup is a good life "business" decision. Most of us wouldn't buy a sweet little sports car and drive it off the lot without insurance...in this life we are not given the guarantee of forever.
An afterthought...does 'til death do us part mean the people or the death of the relationship...just like plants, relationships will die if not cultivated.
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| November 12, 2006, 10:59 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
I just think it's sad that a pre-nup is a necessary discussion, it's like "I wanna spend forever with you, but just in case I meet someone better, or you fuck up, I wanna have this out, cuz I'm too lazy too work through any problems we'll have"
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| November 12, 2006, 17:05 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Re: Pre-nuptials
QUOTE (lilshelby @ November 12, 2006, 17:05)I just think it's sad that a pre-nup is a necessary discussion, it's like "I wanna spend forever with you, but just in case I meet someone better, or you fuck up, I wanna have this out, cuz I'm too lazy too work through any problems we'll have"
my thoughts exactly
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| November 12, 2006, 18:11 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
Wives....or husbands..with anything, was why these were created...along with off-shore accounts. Just because one is used doesn't mean it cant be recended later in life IF things work out. After 20 yrs or so, if your still together..you have a pretty good idea what your partners motives are...
M Lev... 
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| November 12, 2006, 18:22 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
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| November 12, 2006, 18:24 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Pre-nuptials
But when your mate calls it quits & walks out the door while you are stuck in a bed in a "Burn Center" cuz you damn near died from a explosion, for no other reason than she was horrified of the thought of having to spend the rest of her life with some one that was scarred & disfigured, I think It is a real necessity now days.
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| November 12, 2006, 18:26 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
anyone who would leave their spouse because of that, NRG, doesn't deserve a dime............
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| November 12, 2006, 18:28 |
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Tungmeister
69 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Re: Pre-nuptials
There are a million variations of that. Just as frequently the person who has the $$$ and property (before the union) is taken advantage of by a person who proclaimed & promised his or her love and devotion for the rest of their lives, but is the one with the roving eye who came into the marriage with nothing but themselves and ditches the other while greedily taking whatever they can in the process. I had 6.5 acres, a 4 brm A-frame home that my Dad & I built on the riverbank of an old farmstead in northern MI, 22 healthy, productive, apple trees (orchard), German brown, rainbow and brook trout fly-fishing 50 ft. from my deck, surrounded by second growth white & red pines. How is it that she was cheating, filed for divorce and still managed to get all that? All I got was a bill from her lawyer. Yup, pre-nup for me if I ever get married again!
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| November 12, 2006, 18:34 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
That sucks Tung, i wouldn't det married again, either 
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| November 12, 2006, 18:55 |
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Tungmeister
69 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Re: Re: Pre-nuptials
QUOTE (lilshelby @ November 12, 2006, 18:55)That sucks Tung, i wouldn't det married again, either
Not really saying that I wouldn't marry again, just protect the assets I have going into it. If it's for life, it's all hers at some point, as statistically I'll go first anyway. If it's not for life, then I won't have to hang myself because I'm too old and tired to build it up all over again for the third time. 
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| November 12, 2006, 19:04 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Pre-nuptials
I know just what you saying Tung, when I got out of the burn center, I came home to 4 empty walls, but didn't get house either, just let me in to get clothes, the house had been sold.
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| November 12, 2006, 19:36 |
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Tungmeister
69 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Re: Pre-nuptials
There HAS to be a reserved room in Hell for people like that! 
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| November 12, 2006, 20:24 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
And a set of wings reserved for those of us on the recieving end!!!
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| November 12, 2006, 21:53 |
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Tungmeister
69 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Re: Pre-nuptials
That's what I'm counting on Juilianna! 
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| November 12, 2006, 22:16 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
Yes there is a special room in Hell...I live in it. There are no guarantees in life regarding marriage, health or happiness. In divorcing my ex..I only wanted away from our situation so I basically walked away with only two things who meant the world to me...my children. Anything else can be replaced..and yea it does take some time but oh that freedom is so worth it...and now with the illness of hubby...I'll go thru it again...the step children are already circling like buzzards laying claim to a prize feast. Ah life is great ...if ya don't weaken.
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| November 13, 2006, 08:15 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
With the things that happens in today's society, I can see where and why people might want pre-nups.
Personally, I think that's dumb because the way I see marriage, is old school. I'm a romantic in the sense of marriage, I think that anyone who says I do... (hopefully they...) are going to go through with it till the end. I wouldn't want to have to go through a divorce that my parents went through. So in my case, I'm in it for the long haul, baby.
Well... when that someday comes anyways. 
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| November 13, 2006, 21:32 |
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Re: Re: Pre-nuptials
I think there are legitimate arguments for both sides but ultimately I feel that you should go by your gut instinct and do whatever it tells you. Whats the worst that could happen (other than death)-you start over. We never know what life is going to send our way, so its best just to enjoy the ride and try to make the BEST of it.
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| November 14, 2006, 12:31 |
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Re: Pre-nuptials
When things came to a sad end in my previous two marriages...I did not want to take anything with me from the marriage, all I wanted was a chance to forget that past, and start over.
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| November 14, 2006, 12:43 |
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Re: Re: Pre-nuptials
QUOTE (Chazzy @ November 14, 2006, 12:43)When things came to a sad end in my previous two marriages...I did not want to take anything with me from the marriage, all I wanted was a chance to forget that past, and start over.
Chazzy is one classy lady. Her example should serve as a model for others. People sometimes let the fact that they've been hurt dictate their emotions and sometimes go crazy in an effort to seek revenge. Two wrongs don't make a right. I know there are others that may disagree with that statement.
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| November 14, 2006, 14:46 |
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TruckerWill
60 / male
Lucedale, Mississippi, US
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Re: Pre-nuptials
The second a Pre-nup hit the table chances are there will be an argument. Avoid the headache and stay single..
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| November 15, 2006, 05:27 |
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Re: Re: Pre-nuptials
QUOTE (TruckerWill @ November 15, 2006, 05:27)
I secoond that!!
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| November 15, 2006, 06:08 |
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