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Disintegration..
What do you think cause so many couples to end up separated?
What in your opinion causes the most fighting and conflict in a home where once a couple were once stable, happy and totally committed to each other?
Is it just the escalating fighting over sex, money, etc...or are these just things that seep into the small cracks of a foundation?
Is it just our biological chemistry that leaves us with little left after the love and courtship phase?
What is the secret or philosophy that holds some couples together till "death do they part"?
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| November 1, 2006, 09:40 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Disintegration..
Oh boy, my personal opinion is that most couples forget on how to be friends. They don't treat the other as they would like to be treated. It's a lot of work to keep a relationship together. It's not about after your married you stop the courtship, the courtship should always go on, every day. Is it really such a challenge to make the other feel special, even for just moment. It's the way you look at them with that special little twinkle in your eye, or the way you touch them as you pass. It's how you touch them when out in public, with out going overboard. It's about the way you talk to them, even just to say "HI". That little way that your voice says how special they are. The list could on and on.
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| November 1, 2006, 13:30 |
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Re: Disintegration..
When your young they are alot of things we have in common or that connect people. Being pregnant, being broke, being lonely, wanting a family, wanting a home, wanting sex, and when you get older the kids are gone, the house is empty, and you sometimes find that you dont have much in common anymore, over the years you tend to grow in different directions and do not see eye to eye on alot of things, the arguments get deeper, you tend not to talk much because it will just be a fight and neither person will give in, the love gets hurt, the sex leaves, you stop doing things for and with each other, the tears dry up, hatred sets in and its over.
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| November 1, 2006, 14:11 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Disintegration..
Think to this day and age, no one really sits down and listen or talks things through anymore. It's out of the "old fashion" ways now. That's why half the problem is being misunderstood. Hell, even I mess up. Also think its a lot to do with the timing and who you've bumped into in life and how two people go about handling things and talk things out as well as having much understanding of another.
There's this line from one of my favorite Julia Roberts movie.. and if I remember right, this guy asks her, "When you love someone, when is it that enough is enough?"
Answer: Never.
I think that says it all no matter how much people may go through. If they put enough effort to work things out, then it'll take them a long ways.
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| November 1, 2006, 22:06 |
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Tungmeister
69 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Re: Re: Disintegration..
QUOTE (hothands @ November 1, 2006, 14:11)When your young they are alot of things we have in common or that connect people. Being pregnant, being broke, being lonely, wanting a family, wanting a home, wanting sex, and when you get older the kids are gone, the house is empty, and you sometimes find that you dont have much in common anymore, over the years you tend to grow in different directions and do not see eye to eye on alot of things, the arguments get deeper, you tend not to talk much because it will just be a fight and neither person will give in, the love gets hurt, the sex leaves, you stop doing things for and with each other, the tears dry up, hatred sets in and its over.
GDamn HH that's depressing as hell!
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| November 1, 2006, 22:17 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Disintegration..
I'm not sure, for me, the first time, I was flying jets for uncle sam in places where they wouldn't allow your wife or gf to even be on base with you. This one I take the blame for, I just wasn't around to make a marriage work.The second time, all I can think is she thought I would be horribly disfigured from being burned.I think the earlier post about being friends might have some merit to it. My parents have gone through some tough times, starting out with 3 little kids, (not my real dad, I was 6 weeks old when they got married) some years when the crops were bad, cuz of no rain, hail , ect. money was tight then. They have gone through all of it, & I've never seen two people get along so good in my life. If there was a perfect picture of marriage, they would be it.
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| November 2, 2006, 00:01 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Disintegration..
Is divorce just too easy, too social acceptable now?
Is it because of this that some people just find it easy to bail out when it gets tough, instead of going through those tough times that make you love, cherish and respect the person who stuck with you through it all?
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| November 2, 2006, 07:28 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Disintegration..
That's probably what it is chazz... some people just dont want deal with it when they can have the easy way out. 
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| November 2, 2006, 07:29 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Disintegration..
I think maybe divorce being an acceptable option, people just don't enter into a marriage anymore with the silly notion that it's a lifetime commitment.
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| November 2, 2006, 07:41 |
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pepper
56 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: Re: Disintegration..
QUOTE (Chazzy @ November 2, 2006, 07:41)I think maybe divorce being an aceptable option, people just don't enter into a marraige anymore with the silly notion that it's a lifetime committment.
it's unfortunate, but you're right. a lot don't enter it with that same reverence that was pounded into us as kids. I did. Mine's forever.
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| November 2, 2006, 08:11 |
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