Tungmeister
70 / male
Miller Beach, Indiana, US
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Bear hunting -Indiana methods
(Just so you don't think this story is about me, I live in NORTHern IN  ) A guy from southern IN went out bear hunting with his rifle. Wasn't long before he came across a fresh set of bear tracks and even less time before he caught up with the bear who was busy foraging in the brush for food. Quietly & carefully he raised his rifle to his shoulder, aimed and fired. Damn if he didn't miss at 20 yards! Trying a second shot, his gun jammed. The bear came at him, swatted the rifle from his hands and said, "you sonofabitch! I'll teach you something! Get down and give me a blow job! NOW!" Well this poor southern Hoosier had little choice. He knew he was defenseless and the bear could tear his head off if he wanted to, so he did as the bear ordered. When the deed was done, the bear just slowly walked away chuckling. Now that he was alone again, the hunter felt his fear & disgust being replaced by rage and wanting revenge. The next day he returned with a loaded double barreled 10 gauge shotgun. He wasn't going to miss this time! Sure enough he found the bear exactly in the same place as the day before. He leveled and aimed his shotgun and fired. Missed again! The bear just smiled, stood up on his hind legs and gestured with his bear finger to "come here", "you know the routine now, don't you?" said the bear. The guy just set his empty shotgun down, and decided the best thing was to just get it over with. "Tomorrow's another day" he thought to himself. Spitting and gagging all the way back to his old pickup truck, he vowed he'd kill the bear for sure tomorrow. That night he went and borrowed a bazooka from his crazy cousin Earl and the next morning set out in the woods in earnest for that "sonofabitchin' bear" he kept muttering to himself. He had himself worked up in such a lather by the time he found the bear again, that he was shaking and crazy with rage. Well of course he missed the damn bear when he touched off the bazooka. He was 10 feet away! He couldn't believe that happened AGAIN! He just lost it. He threw the bazooka away, fell on his knees and started crying like a baby. The bear came over to him, tenderly picked him up on his feet again, put his big bear arms around him, started patting him on the back and said, "There, there, it's O.K., you weren't REALLY out here to hunt bear now WERE you?"
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