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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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How can I say this....
I wanted to take the time to let all of you know that Im am in the process of separating from my husband of 13 years.......Although its never easy to do something like this, its proving to be much harder for me....I unfortunately have an unbalanced husband who has been known punched me in the face because I didn't want sex with him......So leaving will be rather difficult, not to mention heartbreaking and uncertain.......My emotions are a roller coaster, and fear takes over anything else at thins point.....I am NOT leaving webnaughty or my responsibilities, however, I may not be around all the time like I usually am.....I will be in and out for the next couple of weeks, but I will be back and ready to be myself soon enough!....This place is the one place I can go and know that I have support, so leaving will never be an option for me......
I have gotten many letters from friends that I just have not been able to answer just yet, but please know that its not because I don't want to, but because I just can't right now......
I know Im not the only one in the world going through this, however, I am in a situation where its only going to get worse.....My husband is a very revengeful person and he is not going to just walk away without a fight.....And yet, there is NOTHING to fight over, he has already put me in a position where Im going to lose my house and my car...... 
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| September 11, 2006, 09:53 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
I'm here for you, sweetie.... you know that.... for ANYTHING!!!!!
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| September 11, 2006, 09:55 |
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KINKYINTHEFALLS
56 / male
wild and wonderful, West Virginia, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Sweetheart you know that I will always be here for you if you need anything or just need to talk to someone. Being recently seperated myself I know what you're going through.  
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| September 11, 2006, 10:31 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Kitten you know that Ma and I are always here for you. I wish I could do more for ya.
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| September 11, 2006, 12:13 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
I am here for you too. I too am considering separation from my wife of 29 years. It will be a difficult time for me so I think I can relate to some of your feelings. My feelings for her are not the same anymore and I feel the need to start over anew either alone or with someone else. I do want it to be a cordial separation but one cannot always expect things to go the way one prefers. Maybe we two can lean on each other through each of our ordeals? I hope it goes over smoothly for you and please be careful. Once an abusive man always an abusive man. If he has hit you before he very likely will do it again so do get away from him soon. I will be thinking of you.
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| September 11, 2006, 12:28 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
We're here too doll...just say the word...
M Lev..
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| September 11, 2006, 14:23 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
NYK - you are such a special person and do not deserve to be treated like a dog. It is best you are getting out - just please keep yourself and the kids safe in doing so!! We are here for whatever you may need!
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| September 11, 2006, 16:12 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
Im sorry for what youre going through. Any male that hits a female is an animal, not a man.
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| September 11, 2006, 17:46 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
I am sorry to hear that. I hope things work out for you and I am here if you need to talk or whatever.
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| September 11, 2006, 17:49 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
NYK...
I am thinking about you so much (you might already get that from my emails.. ha!). You KNOW how to get ahold of me if you need anything, ever.
Luv BC69
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| September 11, 2006, 18:06 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
I'm really sorry to hear this. You were one of the first to welcome me to WN.you seem to be a great person!Sounds like you deserve ALOT better. My thoughts are with you on this most difficult journey and I pray the new chapter in your life will be more than you could ever ask for! 
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| September 11, 2006, 19:16 |
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yepper12
73 / male
Jeffersonville, Pennsylvania, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Sorry to hear this you are in my prays. I have a big place abd bot that far from you room for you if you need a place to hide,
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| September 11, 2006, 19:44 |
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Charlie24
43 / female
sheffiled, England, UK
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Re: How can I say this....
U know......ur a very brave person in doing the right thing as in 'breaking free'. Like u say, ur not the only person going thru this but hopefully this is something u will teach other people in ur position, by giving them hope and showing them that it can be done. I too went thru wot ur going thru.....last year infact, and i know it must be really hard for you. But trust me, u are doing the right thing.....the thing that is best for YOU....the one who counts...YOU! Go girl, im with you all the way, with my thoughts, my wishes and my love. Tough like i said, but stand up for urself!!!!!
Im sure the rest of WN agrees with me 
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| September 11, 2006, 20:10 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
Been through divorce..not easy..lean on friends and family..you are not alone..be atrong and true to yourself!
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| September 11, 2006, 20:24 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: How can I say this....
You know how to reach me if you need to. Just say the word & I'll be there for ya. But whatever get the hell out of there. Physical abuse isn't your duty to take. I didn't grow up seeing it, don't like it.Your main concern at this point has to be yours & your kids safety.
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| September 11, 2006, 20:32 |
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40something
57 / female
In the Sun, Arizona, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Please be safe however you decide to do that, listen to that little voice inside you that says --- "I am scared" and do everything you can to be safe. The most dangerous time for a woman is when she makes the decision to move on so know that I am here for you and so are so many -- let us help!
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| September 11, 2006, 20:59 |
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HAPPILYHORNY
54 / couple
ALTOONA, Pennsylvania, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Kitten...u r a very strong woman u will survive this. Life will be so much brighter away from him. It will be difficult for a while, but then u will be happy again and safer. U r in our thoughts and prayers. 
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| September 11, 2006, 21:23 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Maybe I should just fuel up the plane go get bikerchick & take her along to kick your butt until we convince you to go someplace safe.
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| September 11, 2006, 22:43 |
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pepper
56 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: How can I say this....
NYK, whatever you need that we can help wit, do NOT hesitate to let us know. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Pepper
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| September 11, 2006, 22:57 |
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xhibiton
52 / male
Louisville, Kentucky, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Damn...
I don't know if there's anything I can do, but you'll certainly be in my thoughts and prayers, and who knows, maybe there's something.
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| September 12, 2006, 01:08 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
I understand your fear kitten...trust your heart and listen to what it's telling you..somethings can't be fixed. I'm returning the favor to you...if you need a shoulder to lean on...mine is available anytime.
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| September 12, 2006, 05:48 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
hang in there NYK
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| September 12, 2006, 11:08 |
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lizonya
64 / couple
lake elsinore, California, US
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Re: How can I say this....
best of luck nykitten - stay strong and true to yourself. you'll be happy you did once it's all over.
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| September 12, 2006, 13:49 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
Good for you. Leaving will be easier then staying. You are strong. You are brave. You can have the life and love you deserve if you start giving to yourself first. Leaving is giving to yourself. Abuse is not love. Love does not hurt. Be free be Happy my child. God Bless 
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| September 12, 2006, 14:46 |
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PleasantNight
50 / female
Boston, Massachusetts, US
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Re: How can I say this....
This means that I can have you now doesn't it?
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| September 12, 2006, 16:56 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
QUOTE (nykitten @ September 11, 2006, 09:53)I wanted to take the time to let all of you know that Im am in the process of separating from my husband of 13 years.......Although its never easy to do something like this, its proving to be much harder for me....I unfortunately have an unbalanced husband who has been known punched me in the face because I didn't want sex with him......So leaving will be rather difficult, not to mention heartbreaking and uncertain.......My emotions are a roller coaster, and fear takes over anything else at thins point.....I am NOT leaving webnaughty or my responsibilities, however, I may not be around all the time like I usually am.....I will be in and out for the next couple of weeks, but I will be back and ready to be myself soon enough!....This place is the one place I can go and know that I have support, so leaving will never be an option for me......
I have gotten many letters from friends that I just have not been able to answer just yet, but please know that its not because I don't want to, but because I just can't right now......
I know Im not the only one in the world going through this, however, I am in a situation where its only going to get worse.....My husband is a very revengeful person and he is not going to just walk away without a fight.....And yet, there is NOTHING to fight over, he has already put me in a position where Im going to lose my house and my car......
If there is violence going on there, in the house, consider leaving the house immediately....if you fear for the friends or family that you could stay with, go to a shelter...even if it means going without internet access and visiting here...we'll all still be here, and remember you when you have things in order and can get back to us, don't give it a second thought, especially if you still have children at home with you.
Start working on getting past this part of your life, and seeing what's ahead for you and your kids...the violence and fighting over "things" is just a last ditch effort to keep you in his life, and therefore, under his control, so.....sadly, it's gonna be up to you to take back all control here...
With a violent spouse, there's no room for being wishy washy about anything, it's USUALLY best to break all and any contact as soon as possible, and may be necessary to make sure any contact is documented and handled by a third party (IE..the cops) and not by you directly....
This is just some advice, and I cannot offer it without stressing how important it is to contact an appropriate hotline or public service agency that handles this very same thing all the time and can give you the best guidance for dealing with this in the most sane and safe way...
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| September 13, 2006, 08:21 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
Awwww dammit! I have been refraining and restraining myself from ranting...but ....what are the statistics??? 1 out 3 or 4 women have been, are or will be abused by their spouse? That is just sick...
I've been there, twice...never again...
Kitten, do a google with keyword phrase "advice for abused women"
You're strong enough to take back control.
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| September 13, 2006, 08:40 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
NYC, I sent you an email a few days ago on this, You know where I am for anything you need.
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| September 13, 2006, 11:48 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: How can I say this....
You guys have no idea how nice it is to see you all come out to support me in this really bad time!....I have taken all your advice and support and all of it was very thought out and sincere!....Thank you!......I have looked into all of my options, and social services will take care of my children and myself!......Its amazing what they do for women out there like us......I never knew it, and wish more did know about it.....They will provide me with housing, electric, fuel, food, and money......Because of being a domestic violence victim, they also break all the rules and qualifications....(not that I needed to bend any rules, but they won't make me work, and I still have my little one at home and couldn't work even if I wanted to!)....Its a hard step to take, but like I said, Im not the only one who has had to do this, and there are many more out there that should be doing the same thing and just can't!.......
Im grateful, I have been giving the courage to do this......How ironic that the one person in your life that has caused you the most pain, is the one that has also been responsible for making you an independent person!.....Capable of leaving the very same thing you were stuck in because of your lack of that to begin with!.....
Thank you all again so much!......The support you have given me was enough to help me smile everyday and if you know me, you know I love to smile!!....    
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| September 13, 2006, 15:07 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
I just read this and I sorry this has happen to you remain strong are thoughts are with you  if things get bad get out before you get hurt physically
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| September 13, 2006, 21:24 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
Hi Kitten,I,like all the rest of the good people here would like to wish you the best of luck and hope it all works out for you and your children.Nobody male or female should have to put up with any kind of abuse.There's a lot of good men and women out there,and when the time comes,I hope you find one of them and if I can help in any way,please let me know.
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| September 13, 2006, 21:32 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
I mentioned the statistics before, and that makes this a good topic, not only for us to show NYK our support and love, but also because there could be many women logging in here, and maybe reading this very post that are in the same situation...
For them...go ahead, reach out to us, we'll do what we can to see you through it.
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| September 14, 2006, 05:47 |
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smitty6044
80 / male
A whoop and a hollar from Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: How can I say this....
You must take action for yourself. No one ever needs to be a "punching bag" for any reason. My thoughts and prayers are with you through this as I'm sure the whole WN family is too!
If you want to talk or need any advise (for what it might be worth) please don't hesitate to ask.
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| September 14, 2006, 06:28 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: How can I say this....
QUOTE (freensleazy @ September 11, 2006, 17:46)Im sorry for what youre going through. Any male that hits a female is an animal, not a man.
I, for one, am with you on your decision to move on. For him to raise a finger to you, is unexceptable PERIOD. My mom told my wife, right before we got married, that if I was ever to lay a hand on her, she was to warn me to sleep on my stomach and with one eye open!! I am not a violent man (a lot of long walks after argumnts) and besides, my wife has a lot of sharp knives in the kitchen that can be used for: cooking (ours), body modifications (mine) and/or for euthenasia procedures (me again).
My wife and I have a great relationship (30 years) and I love it. I still don't know why men treat their wives like shit. Hey, if your not in the mood to fuck because you don't love him anymore, he's got to realize this and straighten his ass up!! If not, it's time for you to move on. Hey, there are a lot of men out there who would worship the ground that you stand on. 36 yars old?? Hell, your a catch. Your at the prime of your life. Screw him.
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| September 14, 2006, 07:05 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: How can I say this....
I'd still feel a lot better if you were somewhere safe
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| September 17, 2006, 20:20 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
Just noticed this thread... I guess I've been away to long. Hope it all works out for you and the kids sweety. Be safe and know I'm always not far away and thinking of you.
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| September 18, 2006, 21:07 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: How can I say this....
OK, here is my update.........
I was able to get help from an advocate!......Her job is to come with me to the court house and help me through the process......I have gotten temporary custody of my children......Tomorrow he will be served with papers to get him out of the house.......He will have a restraining order as well........I made it so that he had to attend classes about being an abuser, and I also made it so he has to have a psychological evaluation to fix his medication......(I did that for his own good, hopefully he will understand what he has done wrong.....).....He can only see the kids right now through supervised visitations, and the court will appoint someone for that......His family has threaten to take the kids away from me, so it was very important I went to get custody today.......It has taken a while to get used to the fact that I have lost everything, but the most important thing is that I still have my children, and better to start REALLY fresh, with nothing, then to never get the chance at all!......I will keep you guys posted, and I appreciate the support, and the understanding that Im not around too much right now!...........
Hope all is well with everyone!.....See ya soon I hope!
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| September 19, 2006, 21:53 |
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lizonya
64 / couple
lake elsinore, California, US
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Re: How can I say this....
stay strong kitten and fight the good fight ~ sounds like you're doing everything you can and doing it right. i'll say a prayer for you girlfriend!
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| September 19, 2006, 22:28 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Good for you. I'm glad that your getting some help with this. Stand your ground. Be strong for the sake of the kids. We'll also be thinking and praying for you.
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| September 20, 2006, 02:07 |
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lot2luv41965
59 / female
west of Atlanta, Georgia, US
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Re: How can I say this....
It is very hard. I'm going through a divorce now. It took me sometime to be able to leave him. Just became incompatible.
I truly feel sorry for you and your children. Divorces generally are not good for most, but being abused is terrible!
You are in my thoughts. Stay strong. The road is rough, but, it will become smooth. It will take time.
Keep your chin up and spirit.
RAE
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| September 24, 2006, 04:08 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: How can I say this....
Ohhhh how I miss you all!...I have been spending all day and almost everyday at social services to get the help I need, and running around with the three boys......And as much as I hate the fact that I have to use the system right now, I have realized that I am who it is there for!.....But I will say that its about 100 times worse than the DMV.... 
I have become very strong throughout this process and my children seem to be so much happier......
I will be back very soon, have to go to court tomorrow to finalize everything, and then I should be on my way!.....Thank you for all of your support!....You have no idea what it means to me!.....Just remember, this was your ONLY break from me!....I will be back in full force by next month and as usual with a huge smile on my face!......
I hope all is well with all of you here at webnaughty!....
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| September 28, 2006, 20:04 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How can I say this....
GO KICK SOME DUMB HUSBAND ASS... !!!!    
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| September 28, 2006, 20:11 |
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