So I'm feelin' a little philosophical this morning...

What's the true purpose of gifts and giving? Are there really any true acts of giving that are completely selfless?
Can you give and then not give it another thought, or do you need to give in order to gain the self satisfaction?
Do you give because it makes YOU feel good to give, and if so, is it still a true gift because you have some self serving reason to give?

I've been doing some more thinkin' on this(Ohhh gawd!)...
Ya know, I keep thinking back to a time when I realized that sometimes, the real, true gift, actually comes from the receiver...I remember how my parents always wanted to do things for me, help me out when I was in need, but I wouldn't allow them to. I was an adult, independent, self sufficient, and capable of handling some "bad times" on my own, I didn't want to worry them, and I'd much rather give to them and sure as hell didn't want to take from them.
It was during one of my bad times that I did come to understand that even though their help was the last thing I wanted, it was something they wanted to do more than anything.
I had to learn to accept gifts, something I was never good at...I had to learn to accept when they wanted to give...because it's the giving that makes them happy.
So...maybe "true" gifts come from the receiver, not from the giver...we all like to give, because it feels good to give, it's reaffirmation that we are good people...but I've since learned that even if I don't need or want my parents, (or anyone else's help) I will at times ask for it anyway, because they need to give, and it makes them feel very good about themselves, and that in itself is a true gift.

Okay...anyone kinda know what I"m trying to say and can maybe phrase and explain it any better?

I've been doing some more thinkin' on this(Ohhh gawd!)...
Ya know, I keep thinking back to a time when I realized that sometimes, the real, true gift, actually comes from the receiver...I remember how my parents always wanted to do things for me, help me out when I was in need, but I wouldn't allow them to. I was an adult, independent, self sufficient, and capable of handling some "bad times" on my own, I didn't want to worry them, and I'd much rather give to them and sure as hell didn't want to take from them.
It was during one of my bad times that I did come to understand that even though their help was the last thing I wanted, it was something they wanted to do more than anything.
I had to learn to accept gifts, something I was never good at...I had to learn to accept when they wanted to give...because it's the giving that makes them happy.
So...maybe "true" gifts come from the receiver, not from the giver...we all like to give, because it feels good to give, it's reaffirmation that we are good people...but I've since learned that even if I don't need or want my parents, (or anyone else's help) I will at times ask for it anyway, because they need to give, and it makes them feel very good about themselves, and that in itself is a true gift.

Okay...anyone kinda know what I"m trying to say and can maybe phrase and explain it any better?

First of all, a "gift" covers a wide scope. It could be a new car at Christmas, if one can afford it. I can also be a smile, which is a more special gift. The gifts I give are to make other people happy. I don't do them for myself but as it happens, it returns an even greater gift back! It warms the heart to make another person happy if you really mean it. I never ever expect anything in return. Hell, nobody knows what to get me for the holidays because there's nothing I want! Except to be together and remember the people that are gone.

I get so sick of hearing people say, "well, I got him something for his birthday but he didn't get me anything!" Or, "I called him on his birthday and he didn't call to wish me a happy birthday!" You know what? That's them! It's not you! Be yourself, give without expecting anything in return and, believe me, you'll be a lot happier!

It just feels good..... that's your reward. And it's not a selfish one!

Just my 2 cents

  QUOTE (Chazzy @ December 21, 2006, 14:00)


I completey understand what you are saying. My belief is that gifts don't have to be purchased, they can be actions too. As we met with my Mom's hospice nurse yesterday she said, "You would not imagine the things I see when I go into people's homes while working with those that are dying, what you three girls are doing for your Mom is the greatest gift of all..." I said, "She gave to us our entire lives through our actions, now it is our turn."

We have only days left with my Mom now and although we will likely be burying her through the holidays I'm certain we nothing we could have purchased for her over the years can compare to having her family around her during this time...there is love, there is peace, and she will pass away with grace.

Merry Christmas all of you!!!