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Sex Positions
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| July 23, 2004, 13:23 |
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Re: Sex Positions
* Missionary position - Each partner kneels and prays.
* Stealth style - Hide in a box, sneak around a corner, just as long as she doesn't see you coming.
* Marathon Style - A 3 day event featuring such events as the 23-Second-Dash, the 'Backseat-of-the-car' Relay and the Condom Toss
* Under the Bed Style - Just as fun as on top of the bed!
* "Lets Get it On" Style - One partner continously sings "Lets Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
* Praying Mantis Style - When you're done somebody gets eaten...
* Lazy Susan Style (Advanced) - Intercourse while spinning at high speed
* Carnival Style - You must be this tall to ride.
* Yoda Style - The mind trick must you use, if nookie you want
* Ninja Style - I go in, I go out, you never know I was there.
* Alaskan Style - Actually not a lot of style here, just lots of guys with blue ballz
* Discovery Channel Style - Do it with the Croc Hunter filming you
* R-Rated Movie on Free-To-Air Television Style - he woman feigns excitement, the man is unable to display an erection- a few seconds later, it's over and everyone starts thinking about products.
* Microsoft Style - orgasm causes fatal exception resulting in blue screen of death.
* John Ashcroft Style - nvolves reading other people's mail until climax.
* Sloth Style - oreplay is done over a period of weeks while hanging from a tree.
* QWERTY Style - exual intercourt atop a keyboard. Experience the rush of orgasm while flooding your favorite chat room.
* Predator Style - Dress in warpaint and hide in the bushes before your partnet gets home from work. Then as they walk by, jump out screaming and have at it!
* Snob Style - At the height of passion, start name dropping.
* Bullshit artist sex - ook I've liked you for a while now and I'm so happy to be lying here with you but I would love to get your phone number so I can call you and we can go out sometime.
* Canadian style - Find a place with snow, (or go into a walk in freezer in a pinch), boink till you have frostbite, run inside and sizzle up some Canadian bacon during the afterglow.....
* Batman Style - Dress up in costume with mask, activate utility belt full of useful "gadgets", hang by your feet from roof. Guaranteed to get a rush of blood to the head. (sidekick optional)
* Cowboy style - Once you've engaged in intercourse tell her that her sister is a better bonk than her and see if you can hang on for eight seconds!
* Ultra Light - Put wings on your lawnmower. Chase each other on the runway and attempt airborne intimacy .
* Decathlon style - any ten of the above in any order you choose
* DJ Style - For those not into S&M but R&B. You feel the drumming of music, see lights flashing before your eyes, your body covered in sweat, and you're thirsty but a bottle of water is $10!!! Contraception? The rhythm method of course! Warning - you could slip your disc doing this one.
* Snail Mail Style - Like cyber-sex and phone-sex, but through the postal service. Takes a little longer, and both partners seem to lose intrest after a while.
* Plumber position - you stay in all day and still no one comes.
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| July 23, 2004, 13:25 |
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hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: Sex Positions
 
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| July 23, 2004, 21:00 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Sex Positions
Love it!!
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| July 25, 2004, 03:42 |
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Re: Sex Positions
great list
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| July 26, 2004, 04:44 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Sex Positions
More?
* Going solo postition - ttempting to mate while drinking lemonade
* Mullet style - - er a hard day of diesel engine repair, it's nice to come home to a little business in front, and party in the back.
* Necrophiliac postion - climb on and get get off all while the partner is asleep.
* Jedi Knight Style - Put on a glow in the dark condom. Breathe very heavily and insist your partner joins the dark side. If partner refuses then the lightsaber fight starts.
* Saloon Style - Liquor up the front, poker round the back.
* Hoochie Style - You recognize this style when it's like trying to throw a hotdog down a hallway.
* Magician Style - Propose this to a girl (or guy) and when she asks "How is that?", you say "we have sex and then you disappear."
* Kylie style - should be so lucky
* Ozzy Osbourne Style - Start off 'Flying High Again' with a little 'Sweet Leaf'. Get out your 'Iron Man', unless you have a 'Mr. Tinkertrain', then you better say 'Goodbye To Romance' But if your mate has 'Desire' give it a 'Shot In The Dark', just make sure you don't take the 'Road To Nowhere' unless you're a bum pirate or trying not to make any 'Crazy Babies'. Just remember while you shag like a couple of 'War Pigs' that you give fair warning by yelling 'Mama, I'm Coming Home'!
* Quantum position - One of you hides in a box with Schrodingers cat, the other decides how you're having sex before opening the box to prove it.
* Microsoft Windows 98 style - Everyone gets screwed. It is reported to log file 000alep9721#.txt
* Prime Minister Howard style - you don't know how, but people are getting screwed...your minister for defence has all the details.
* Doggy style - where the girl rolls over and the guy begs.
* Nike style - Just do it
* Microsoft style - Do the same position everyweek but insist to your partner that its new and improved.
* Hillbilly style - sorta like doggie style just have your clothes hanging off your knees and leave your boots on.
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| July 27, 2004, 11:12 |
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bawbie
64 / female
mesa, Arizona, US
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Re: Re: Sex Positions
*Hillbilly style - sorta like doggie style just have your clothes hanging off your knees and leave your boots on.
we'uns don't like that kindda anti-hillbillie remark.
ya'll probly be in the lawyering suit.
p.o.s.s.u.m.
p.s. weuns dont ware boots.
p.s.s. this here ain't from bawbie
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| July 27, 2004, 16:40 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Sex Positions
QUOTE (bawbie @ July 27, 2004, 16:40)*Hillbilly style - sorta like doggie style just have your clothes hanging off your knees and leave your boots on.
we'uns don't like that kindda anti-hillbillie remark.
ya'll probly be in the lawyering suit.
p.o.s.s.u.m.
p.s. weuns dont ware boots.
p.s.s. this here ain't from bawbie
I though this one might raise some tempers! The other main differance is of course it's you sister you fucking!
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| July 28, 2004, 05:07 |
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bawbie
64 / female
mesa, Arizona, US
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Sex Positions
I though this one might raise some tempers! The other main differance is of course it's you sister you fucking!
my sister? yech. my other sister? yeach my brother? violent projectile vomiting.
besides, i ain't one of them thar lezbans. i don't even where lezban is. and i was #1 stdent in the 5th grade. three years in a row. my daddy always walked me to school,cause he was in the same class.
now i got to go finsh burryin the tires halfway up along the drivay. then younguns are gonna paint em whit, so-uns i don't fall off when i gets home drunk.
p.o.s.s.u.m.
at least yu is just a yankee. the differness tween a yankee and a damnedyankee is a yankee is stll up tir.
p.s. this one ain't from bawbie nether. 
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| July 28, 2004, 09:49 |
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