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equality vs chivalry
Can both co-exist? Is it viewed unfair by men for women to choose what they want to be equal to men in, but still want the princess courtesies like doors being opened for us?
Does equality for women mean across the board and hardcore, or can we still be equal citizens but with pride for our softer feminine side?
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| July 31, 2006, 06:45 |
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Re: equality vs chivalry
I think that equality between men and women doesn't mean that men have to stop being gentlemen... paying an expensive dinner, opening doors as you mentioned and so many other gestures are included in the sphere of being a gentleman. We have a saying: On a date, a woman should never touch a door, a lighter or a bottle. I don't think that any of these gestures deprive women as inferior human beings, it's a matter of being kind.
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| July 31, 2006, 07:09 |
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Re: Re: equality vs chivalry
QUOTE (PeterPan73 @ July 31, 2006, 07:09)I think that equality between men and women doesn't mean that men have to stop being gentlemen... paying an expensive dinner, opening doors as you mentioned and so many other gestures are included in the sphere of being a gentleman. We have a saying: On a date, a woman should never touch a door, a lighter or a bottle. I don't think that any of these gestures deprive women as inferior human beings, it's a matter of being kind.
I like this. 
In this day and age, I think many men have forgotten how to be gentlemen. I do try to be nice to everyone and courteous to everyone. Life is so rushed now and many forget common courtousy. What you said Chazzy is very much part of this.
 
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| July 31, 2006, 08:07 |
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Re: Re: equality vs chivalry
QUOTE (PeterPan73 @ July 31, 2006, 07:09)I think that equality between men and women doesn't mean that men have to stop being gentlemen... paying an expensive dinner, opening doors as you mentioned and so many other gestures are included in the sphere of being a gentleman. We have a saying: On a date, a woman should never touch a door, a lighter or a bottle. I don't think that any of these gestures deprive women as inferior human beings, it's a matter of being kind.
I totally agree with what pp said. But from where I come from, men open doors for women, women open doors for men, men for men, women for women, and so on. If I get there right before someone, especially the eldery or people with small children, I'll hold the door open and let them go first. It is all a matter of being kind! 
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| July 31, 2006, 09:36 |
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Re: equality vs chivalry
I agree completely with Moon.
Further, let me say this: Being a "gentleman" means so much more than opening doors and lighting cigarrettes and paying for a meal. These are okay things to do (although let me take this opportuntity to put in the bad word for smoking) but they are also okay things for women to do for men. Or men for men, or women for women.
I like women who are sure of themselves whether men are "taking care" of them or not. So-called chivalry was never ONLY about being kind, it ALSO had to do with the notion that women are somehow delicate beings that need to be handled carefully. In reality, we all know that some women are "sensitive" like that, and some aren't; some men are like that, and some aren't. All of us like to be made to feel special sometimes. It all goes both ways, no matter what might be the gender configuration.
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| July 31, 2006, 10:46 |
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Re: equality vs chivalry
that's a tuff one..I'm always saying chivalry is dead...especially when I'm struggling to load or unload the wheelchair and not one but several men will pass by and smile at me....good thing my hands are on the chair or the car door otherwise they'd be giving signals that would land a plane. As for doors being held open, etc...that's nice and I appreciate it but there is more to chivalry than that as far as I'm concerned
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| July 31, 2006, 16:44 |
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Re: equality vs chivalry
I like a little bit of a double standard...I want equality in job promotions and salaries, I want my opinions and views to be equal to any man's, but I do also want to enjoy a little of the "princess" treatment too.
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| August 1, 2006, 09:03 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: equality vs chivalry
I think there is a time and place for everything. Nothing wrong with opening a door, for anyone. But, what about when you break a smile and say Hi to a lady, and all they do is give you the look of "how dare you talk to me, what are you a pervert". It gets discouraging, when you can't even tip you hat, or say hi without being scorned, by the majority. So now I just go about my business, but am always on the look out if someone needs help, I'll offer. 
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| August 1, 2006, 12:52 |
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Re: equality vs chivalry
Those things are all good and I agree with every one of them! Common curtousy is what they call it these days. Like waving at the townspeople when passing them on the street.... little stuff like that makes a huge impact whether we realize it or not 
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| August 1, 2006, 13:42 |
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Re: equality vs chivalry
QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 31, 2006, 06:45)Can both co-exist? Is it viewed unfair by men for women to choose what they want to be equal to men in, but still want the princess courtesies like doors being opened for us?
Does equality for women mean across the board and hardcore, or can we still be equal citizens but with pride for our softer feminine side?
This is a loaded question...sooooooo....I'll take the 5th !!!
Male Lev...
 
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| August 1, 2006, 14:45 |
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GG317
60 / male
Bowl of Granola, Massachusetts, US
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Re: Re: equality vs chivalry
QUOTE (Leviathan4u @ August 1, 2006, 14:45) QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 31, 2006, 06:45)Can both co-exist? Is it viewed unfair by men for women to choose what they want to be equal to men in, but still want the princess courtesies like doors being opened for us?
Does equality for women mean across the board and hardcore, or can we still be equal citizens but with pride for our softer feminine side?
This is a loaded question...sooooooo....I'll take the 5th !!!
I agree with male Lev...It's like that age old question I hear every now and then. "Do these jeans make me look fat?" If I say no, I'm called a liar. If I say yes, I'm in hot water. So with that, my lips are sealed on this one....
Male Lev...
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| August 1, 2006, 20:47 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Re: Re: equality vs chivalry
QUOTE (GentleGiant388 @ August 1, 2006, 20:47) QUOTE (Leviathan4u @ August 1, 2006, 14:45) QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 31, 2006, 06:45)Can both co-exist? Is it viewed unfair by men for women to choose what they want to be equal to men in, but still want the princess courtesies like doors being opened for us?
Does equality for women mean across the board and hardcore, or can we still be equal citizens but with pride for our softer feminine side?
This is a loaded question...sooooooo....I'll take the 5th !!!
I agree with male Lev...It's like that age old question I hear every now and then. "Do these jeans make me look fat?" If I say no, I'm called a liar. If I say yes, I'm in hot water. So with that, my lips are sealed on this one....
Male Lev...
Yea both are a couple of chickens..  No pain, no gain. Right???? Go ahead a give it your best shot.
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| August 1, 2006, 23:11 |
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thepeachotc
80 / male
san diego, California, US
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Re: equality vs chivalry
I was raised to show courtesy & consideration to women. I open & hold doors for them on a regular basis.
An elderly gentleman once told me: "if women want to be treated like ladies, then they should act like ladies"
I think that's sound advice.
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| August 2, 2006, 00:45 |
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Re: equality vs chivalry
I agree with moon on this one.
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| August 2, 2006, 07:21 |
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pepper
56 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: equality vs chivalry
I will hold the door for a man or woman, I have helped little old men get in their cars (passenger seat) and closed the door after them, I wave to say "Thank you" when someone lets me out of a parking lot or intersection, I smile when someone says Hi to me, whether I know them or not (this IS a double edged sword in some cases). I call my elders "Ma'am" or "Sir" until I either know their name or they ask me not to.
My Nana & Pop raised me to do all these things, they are ingrained now, not even a second thought about them.
  
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| August 2, 2006, 07:54 |
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