|
| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Male Sex Test
Found this on the web last nite,
MALE SEX TEST
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the
last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered "a" more than 7 times,
check your pants to make sure you really are a man-yes, you are a true gentleman .
If you answered "b" more than seven times,
check into therapy, you're still a little confused,you are soon going to be DA MAN.
If you answered "c" more than 7 times,
"YOU ARE DA MAN- a true beast,guided by lust rather than true love- SHAME ON YOU!"
|
| June 28, 2004, 07:29 |
|
backfromaustintx
66 / male
Burlington, Ontario, Canada
|
Re: Male Sex Test
 Good one! BTW I fit in catagory 'a'.
|
| June 28, 2004, 07:33 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
A true gentleman !!! You may be in a minority on this site !!
|
| June 29, 2004, 00:14 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Male Sex Test
QUOTE (Chazzy @ June 29, 2004, 00:14)
|
| June 29, 2004, 04:23 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
She's right there isn't many of us getlemen around.
|
| June 29, 2004, 10:29 |
|
scubasteve420
44 / male
UpINThere, Michigan, US
|
Re: Male Sex Test
I was between A & C So i guess i'm kind of a nice guy , but then kind of not?!?!?!?!
|
| June 29, 2004, 12:43 |
|
allon
64 / male
salisbury, England, UK
|
Re: Male Sex Test
'D' shame on me, sorry
|
| June 29, 2004, 15:15 |
|
allon
64 / male
salisbury, England, UK
|
Re: Male Sex Test
Damn what a numpty, meant to say 'c', scewse!
|
| June 29, 2004, 15:18 |
|
hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
|
Re: Male Sex Test
8-a 2-b nice guys always lose out to the pricks of the world
|
| June 29, 2004, 21:23 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Male Sex Test
QUOTE (hothands @ June 29, 2004, 10:29)She's right there isn't many of us getlemen around.
So, what was your score?
|
| June 30, 2004, 02:36 |
|
absix
40 / male
Web Naughty
|
Re: Male Sex Test
|
| June 30, 2004, 04:08 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
geeze, I am a solid A across the board. Is there no hope for me?
|
| June 30, 2004, 10:42 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
Socially, scoring all "A's" is a good thing, Sexually, just make sure you can behave more like a all "C's" man when she starts screaming " FUCK ME !! FUCK ME !! FUCK ME LIKE THE WHORE I AM!!!"
|
| June 30, 2004, 11:05 |
|
littlegothicslut
50 / female
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US
|
Re: Male Sex Test
if i were a dude I would be "da man"
|
| July 9, 2004, 21:49 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Male Sex Test
QUOTE (littlegothicslut @ July 9, 2004, 21:49)if i were a dude I would be "da man"
Love the picture Little...brings back a few good memories. 
|
| July 10, 2004, 04:34 |
|
backfromaustintx
66 / male
Burlington, Ontario, Canada
|
Re: Male Sex Test
I agree with Chazzy completely.
Being a sensitive lover is not a drawback. Its a lack of self confidence - the fastest way to lose a woman's interest (the second is arrogance). Or is it the other way around Chazzy?
|
| July 10, 2004, 06:01 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
Right now, ALL MEN SUCK!!!!!~!, (sorry, had a bad night, a really REALLY bad night)
|
| July 12, 2004, 23:19 |
|
backfromaustintx
66 / male
Burlington, Ontario, Canada
|
Re: Male Sex Test
O, for goodness sake Chazzy!
Alright, tell uncle Dana all about it.
What did the f**king jerk do to you?
|
| July 13, 2004, 03:27 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
Thank you, it's really kind of you to ask. It was several f**king jerks,actually. Things are in perspective now, only hate a large portion of men, but not all men.
|
| July 13, 2004, 07:30 |
|
backfromaustintx
66 / male
Burlington, Ontario, Canada
|
Re: Re: Male Sex Test
QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 13, 2004, 07:30)Thank you, it's really kind of you to ask. It was several f**king jerks,actually. Things are in perspective now, only hate a large portion of men, but not all men.
I know its tough Chazzy. I can see it in your new picture. I don't know if this will help, but keep in mind that only those who expose themselves emotionally can get hurt. But there's no other way to find love either.
It takes strength of character and faith to keep one's heart open after repeated hurts. I honestly believe that you will find someone.
I speak from personal experience. I'd say that my breakup and divorce was the single most devastating thing that has happened to me in my life (and believe me, my youth was nothing normal at all). I'm sure I was close to insanity a few times. Yes, I know that sounds dramatic but I even tried to kill myself. And, boy, did I ever hate women!
Its been almost 2 years and not only is my heart still open, but I am a tougher and more relaxed person because of it. I fell in love once since then, and got hurt, but I felt glad that I could still do it.
For me, life is a journey, not a destination. I hope you will have a series of loves ahead of you.
Dana
|
| July 13, 2004, 11:57 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
Chazzy how easy one can change from loving all men to "all men suck." It takes only a few ill thought out actions and one or two misspoken words. It can also take weeks to get back to "men yumm"
|
| July 23, 2004, 16:25 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
It took 17 1/2 hours for me.
|
| July 23, 2004, 17:30 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
|
| July 23, 2004, 18:00 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Male Sex Test
QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ July 23, 2004, 18:00)so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
BCB, you might hear a guy say "all women suck" but that is just wishful thinking on his part.
|
| July 23, 2004, 18:04 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Re: Male Sex Test
QUOTE (EugeneOregon @ July 23, 2004, 18:04) QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ July 23, 2004, 18:00)so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
BCB, you might hear a guy say "all women suck" but that is just wishful thinking on his part.
thats why i cleverly replaced it with the word hate!
|
| July 23, 2004, 18:05 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Male Sex Test
QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ July 23, 2004, 18:00)so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
Right off, I can think of a long list of serial killers that weren't too fond of women.
|
| July 24, 2004, 02:34 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Re: Male Sex Test
QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 24, 2004, 02:34) QUOTE (boredcountryboy @ July 23, 2004, 18:00)so why don't i ever hear a man say i hate all women, with out a smirk? and if one has ever said it, did it last more than 2 minutes?
Right off, I can think of a long list of serial killers that weren't too fond of women.
Some like them with a little salt and pepper
|
| July 24, 2004, 04:51 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
reminds me of a stupid joke...
"Battered women????And all this time I've been eating them raw!?!"
|
| July 24, 2004, 04:52 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
you eat them raw? I at least like a little whipped cream and strawberries on mine!
|
| July 26, 2004, 04:46 |
|
hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
|
Re: Male Sex Test
Butterscotch syrup is my favorite 
|
| July 26, 2004, 07:10 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Male Sex Test
Rare, medium or WELL DONE???
|
| July 26, 2004, 23:44 |
|
hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
|
Re: Male Sex Test
rare when I start, very well done when I'm finished 
|
| July 26, 2004, 23:52 |
|
|
