1970,graduated high school,had a great year playing baseball{my only true love}I was really good at that game,had sex everyday,was in great shape,THOSE WERE THE DAYS MY FRIEND!!! I THOUGHT THEY'D NEVER END!!!

actually, it was several years, when I was completely happy. I thought I had found it, I was sure, certain, that I had stumble on to something true and good..., Everything made sense to me then, every mistake, every decision I had ever made, good or bad, every tiny little piece of my history, every little shard of my past , suddenely began to make perfect sense, like it all converged at an exact time and put me in that place, with that man. Everything made such perfect sense, everything assured me I was exactly where I was suppose to be. Hearing him laugh outloud when he watched "The Three Stooges" , the way , when I would mend his jeans and hand them back folded, he would run his fingers across that spot, taking just that extra few seconds to notice the work I had done and give me an eye to eye thank you, the way his face would light up when old friends of his came around knowing that now they would envy him, instead of the other way around as it always been before. A million things like that assured me I was exactly where I should be.
I don't know what happened, I do remember telling him so many times , that we both see it all slipping away from us, and please help me hold onto it. but it happened, I try not to look back and want to be there, where I was before. I'm going to try to believe that it was real, I was exactly where I was suppose to be at that time, and it's just more pieces and shards of my history that I need, so someday I can be where I am suppose to be.

  QUOTE (Chazzy @ August 18, 2004, 08:29)
You touched a soft spot here Chazzy. After this last divorce I have finally found a new peace with in myself. With 31 acres of woods, a comfortable financal position and a marriage that I at first thought was the last one for me, I thought this is IT! As the years went by everything seemed to change, we grew apart, she became increasingly critical of EVERTHING I did or didn't do and many marriage counciling sessions that got nowhere, I left it all behind, wondering if I would ever be happy again. I know now my happiness can't be based on the things or toys I have, that can all go away with the stroke of a pen, and it can't be dependant on another person. There is a new peace now. Happiest time of my life? It may be now if I can let it.
Reading your post reminded me of a song I wrote a while back mostly about my parents and all the little pieces of my life that come together to make a total picture but the hook goes "the pieces of the puzzle that make the picture whole, the pieces of the puzzle to my soul". It is like a puzzle, I guess when the last piece goes in I'll be on my way out of here.

Even though I started this post, and gave my initial reply... I now change it. (my perogative)

The happiest year(s) of my life are yet to be.

  QUOTE (EugeneOregon @ August 18, 2004, 19:47)



I'm quite certain of that for you, and for myself too.

Here's to us! You, me and sunbuff,and hardrock...

  QUOTE (Chazzy @ August 20, 2004, 15:09)


Yes. I do believe that

i have to say the happiest years have been since rhyun and i have been together. but the absloute happiest moment was when i finally got to hold our lil red for the first time. (she was in nicu, so i couldn't see her for almost 24 hours) it was that exact moment that our family became whole, and i realized that i had found happiness.
(pardon me while i go and cry now)

leeuh