|
| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
|
User no longer registered.
|
The Mammorgram
I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennn slip on this gown.
Everything clearrrr?
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'
Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity, when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!
"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be rightttt backkk."
Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."
"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry!" The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps....
|
| May 15, 2006, 08:42 |
|
wildflower59
65 / female
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
|
Re: The Mammorgram
That's good!!!
|
| May 15, 2006, 08:51 |
|
nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
|
Re: The Mammorgram
|
| May 25, 2006, 17:30 |
|
slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
|
Re: The Mammorgram
i like that one
|
| May 25, 2006, 22:22 |
|
funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
|
Re: The Mammorgram
Now Moon you wouldn't do that, would ya? 
|
| May 26, 2006, 00:34 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: The Mammorgram
QUOTE (funlovingpair @ May 26, 2006, 00:34)
 
|
| May 26, 2006, 10:27 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: The Mammorgram
i bet that nurse isn't a howler is she!!
|
| May 29, 2006, 16:17 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: The Mammorgram
I believe I'd have put her head somewhere else entirely different! LMAO
|
| May 29, 2006, 21:50 |
|
|
