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User no longer registered.
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Help Wanted
POSITION :
Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Mumma, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION :
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that university will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
  
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| April 5, 2006, 11:04 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: Help Wanted
Just to add something, I heard once that if you were to give a housewife a salary.....It would be about 100,000.00 a year, and that doesn't include overtime!....
Too bad we can't get paid what we are truly worth!.... 
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| April 5, 2006, 11:10 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Help Wanted
ditto!!
Not that I'm complaining but yeah, the money would be nice! lol
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| April 5, 2006, 11:13 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Help Wanted
A good point with this job for me anyways, is that I hit "simi-retirement" at the ripe ol' age of 46.... 
Never fully retired though---oldest resently moved out but I get on average of 10-15 calls aday for advise and conversation!
Female Lev
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| April 5, 2006, 11:28 |
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just4urplsur
58 / male
platte city, Missouri, US
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Re: Help Wanted
ALL HAIL MOMS  
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| April 5, 2006, 11:33 |
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Re: Re: Help Wanted
QUOTE (Leviathan4u @ April 5, 2006, 11:28)A good point with this job for me anyways, is that I hit "simi-retirement" at the ripe ol' age of 46....
Never fully retired though---oldest resently moved out but I get on average of 10-15 calls aday for advise and conversation!
Female Lev
Y'all are lucky. I'm hoping to get half that many in the future 
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| April 5, 2006, 11:50 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Help Wanted
QUOTE (just4urplsur @ April 5, 2006, 11:33)
Bow down before me, knave!!!! 
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| April 5, 2006, 11:51 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Help Wanted
QUOTE (MoonHowler @ April 5, 2006, 11:51) QUOTE (just4urplsur @ April 5, 2006, 11:33)
Bow down before me, knave!!!!
gnave......... ?? oh hell.... a slave!! 
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| April 5, 2006, 11:52 |
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just4urplsur
58 / male
platte city, Missouri, US
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Re: Re: Re: Help Wanted
QUOTE (MoonHowler @ April 5, 2006, 11:51) QUOTE (just4urplsur @ April 5, 2006, 11:33)
Bow down before me, knave!!!!
i would but i dont know if you are talking to me knave 
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| April 5, 2006, 11:52 |
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naughtyandnasty
54 / couple
blythe, California, US
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Re: Help Wanted
HEY what ab put us Dads... I'm not just a sperm donor
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| April 6, 2006, 06:45 |
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just4urplsur
58 / male
platte city, Missouri, US
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Re: Re: Help Wanted
QUOTE (naughtyandnasty @ April 6, 2006, 06:45)HEY what ab put us Dads... I'm not just a sperm donor
well there are some of us that just like the feeling of being dads. and by the wat WHO NEEDS SPERM
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| April 6, 2006, 09:22 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Help Wanted
You might never know it .. but I had wonderful parents...and my Mother was so much the typical mother ... BOY , I MISS HER SO MUCH...!!!! and it's been 15 yrs... GOD BLESS ALL YOU WOMEN...!!!!
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| April 6, 2006, 17:16 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Help Wanted
QUOTE (rchamberlain @ April 6, 2006, 17:16)
10 years for me, rc...... Very well said!!! 
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| April 7, 2006, 10:06 |
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littlecock
60 / male
southwest, Colorado, US
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Re: Re: Help Wanted
QUOTE (rchamberlain @ April 6, 2006, 17:16)
RIGHT ON! You don't realize how much you'll miss them till their gone..  ..A special  to all Mothers out there!.........
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| April 7, 2006, 22:19 |
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