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bignasty
54 / male
Elko, Nevada, US
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just picking on a few friends
One night Hardrock was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a hotnsexy2 sitting on the can, "This is for ladies!" she screamed. Rock waved his dick at her and said "So is this!"
There is a guy his name is absix. His favorite bar is called 'Sally's Legs'. The bar is closed, so he waits outside for it to open. He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked, "What are you doing?" Absix replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can get a drink."
Jack and Jill had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"
Jill looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a woman stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try her keys on five different cars before she found her. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with her keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, she started her engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read her, her rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. nykitten replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day littlecock came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon,
and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to littlecock.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the littlecock clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked littlecock "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" he replied "I work for the IRS."
Bikerchick69 walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to BcB, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and BcB looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Kuryous1 walks into a bar, and orders a beer. As he sits there, the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing. Disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette vending machine to buy a pack of smokes. As he approaches the machine, it starts screaming and shouting at him. He runs to the bar and explains this to the barman. The barman apologizes and says "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order"!
Bignasty is in a bar and has one too many drinks. Naughtybutterfly sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. He walks up behind Pepper and says: "Hi there good looking, how's it going?"
Pepper turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it." He says: "No kidding?, I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"
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| March 22, 2006, 09:00 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: just picking on a few friends
Funniest  thing I have read in a long time!.....You are good!   
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| March 22, 2006, 09:15 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: just picking on a few friends
I am still
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| March 22, 2006, 09:19 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: just picking on a few friends
Bravo, bravo
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| March 22, 2006, 10:42 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: just picking on a few friends
lol dam it man lol good one !! 
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| March 22, 2006, 11:30 |
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hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: just picking on a few friends
 pretty good BN but so true , it's for ladies only haha 
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| March 22, 2006, 13:07 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: just picking on a few friends
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| March 22, 2006, 15:58 |
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littlecock
61 / male
southwest, Colorado, US
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Re: just picking on a few friends
Good one I'm still LMAO!
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| March 22, 2006, 20:15 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: just picking on a few friends
that was good..
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| March 22, 2006, 20:19 |
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pepper
56 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: just picking on a few friends
 How did you know??
 
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| March 22, 2006, 21:40 |
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