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A Few Jokes......
The Lucky Lantern
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is begins to deliver the baby.
The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mikey. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mikey." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mikey. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to..." Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mikey, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child.
The doctor holds up the baby for Mike's inspection. "Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"
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Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
"What have you done Tommy O'Connor?"
"I've been with a girl."
"Who was it, Tommy?"
"I cannot tell you Father, please forgive me for my sin."
"Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?" he asked.
"No Father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was."
"Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?"
"No Father, please forgive me for my sin," he replied.
"Well then it has to be Sarah Martha O'Keefe."
"No Father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was."
"Okay, Tommy, go say five Hail Mary's and four Our Fathers and you will be abolished of your sin."
So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting.
"What did ya get?" asked Joseph. "Well I got five hail Marys, four Our Fathers, and three good leads."
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First, the Lord made man...
First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing.'"
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then he added a mouth.
Ruined the whole damn thing.
 
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| March 20, 2006, 11:28 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: A Few Jokes......
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| March 20, 2006, 11:29 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: A Few Jokes......
this is for the last joke.........  dam there is not enough dam i broke the spanker
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| March 20, 2006, 11:56 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: A Few Jokes......
 
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| March 21, 2006, 00:30 |
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littlecock
61 / male
southwest, Colorado, US
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Re: A Few Jokes......
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| March 21, 2006, 08:13 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: A Few Jokes......
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| March 21, 2006, 11:14 |
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tomboy6978
46 / male
Florissant, Missouri, US
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Re: A Few Jokes......
oh how sweet that makes me laugh yehaw get er done
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| March 21, 2006, 12:18 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: A Few Jokes......
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| March 21, 2006, 16:32 |
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