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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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The Affairs
The 1st Affair
>
> A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day
> they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell
> asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his
> lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He
> put on his shoes and drove home.
> "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
> "I can't lie to you," he replied,
> "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all
> afternoon."
> She looked down at his shoes and said:
> "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"
> -----------------------------------------------------
> The 2nd Affair
>
> A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always
> talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son
> they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby
> boy.
> The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He
> was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife:
> "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two
> beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my
> back?"
> The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
>
> "Not this time!"
> ---------------------------------------------------
> The 3rd Affair
> A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of
> Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
> Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr.
> Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated
> with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."
> So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home
> "I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his
> wife, opening his briefcase.
> "My God!" the wife exclaimed, Schwartz is dead!"
> ------------------------------------------------------
> The 4th Affair
> A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
> opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
> She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum
> powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said," pretend you're a
> statue."
> "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
> "Oh it's a statue," she replied," the Smiths bought one and I
> liked it so I got one for us too. No more was said, not even when they
> went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and
> returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue,
> "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody
> offered me a damned thing."
> -----------------------------------------------------
> The 5th Affair
> A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
> "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
> "One Cent?" the man exclaimed.
> He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy
> steak and a bottle of wine?"
> "A nickel," the barman replied.
> A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this
> place?"
>
> The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife."
> The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
> The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business
> down here."
> -------------------------------------------------
> The 6th Affair
>
> Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and
> said weakly: I have something I must confess."
> "There's no need to, "his wife replied.
> "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your
> sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
> "I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison work."
   
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| February 9, 2006, 19:26 |
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pepper
56 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: The Affairs
  
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| February 10, 2006, 03:39 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: The Affairs
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| February 10, 2006, 07:40 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Affairs
 
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| March 20, 2006, 17:16 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: The Affairs
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| March 20, 2006, 19:42 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Affairs
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| March 20, 2006, 19:44 |
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littlecock
60 / male
southwest, Colorado, US
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Re: The Affairs
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| March 20, 2006, 20:23 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: The Affairs
QUOTE (urs4pleasure @ March 20, 2006, 19:44)
once agen pleasure you have amazed me with those beautiful pics of your's
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| March 21, 2006, 01:32 |
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