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pepper
56 / female daytona, Florida, US
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What to buy for a man............
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12:
Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
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January 19, 2006, 19:20 |
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littlecock
60 / male southwest, Colorado, US
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Re: What to buy for a man............
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January 19, 2006, 19:23 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What to buy for a man............
....buy 'em something??? Hell, all they really want is a blowjob first thing in the morning...
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January 19, 2006, 19:38 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: What to buy for a man............
QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 19, 2006, 19:38)....buy 'em something??? Hell, all they really want is a blowjob first thing in the morning...
That would work for me...if I can remember what it is...
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January 19, 2006, 19:43 |
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hardrock1955
69 / male McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: What to buy for a man............
I dont need anymore drills, but I need a new table saw , and planer . If you buy me tools , all mine are Snap-on. I dont watch much tv , the only cooking I do is microwave . I always read the directions , and never have parts left over , unless they are extras. Ford parts are only good as boat anchors .I dont watch sports. I already have a chainsaw , rope , and 6 ladders . damn whats left to buy for me ? I guess that only leaves a morning bj
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January 19, 2006, 22:04 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: What to buy for a man............
QUOTE (hardrock1955 @ January 19, 2006, 22:04)
lol cute
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January 19, 2006, 22:37 |
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littlecock
60 / male southwest, Colorado, US
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Re: Re: What to buy for a man............
QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 19, 2006, 19:38)....buy 'em something??? Hell, all they really want is a blowjob first thing in the morning...
that would be nice any time morning noon or night....
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January 20, 2006, 05:08 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: What to buy for a man............
QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 19, 2006, 19:38)....buy 'em something??? Hell, all they really want is a blowjob first thing in the morning...
A Bj is good for me too! Unless you have a video of BC and her chair diving fetish. Cum to think of it a BJ while it's playing would be good
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January 20, 2006, 06:07 |
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nykitten
54 / female Pawling, New York, US
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Re: Re: Re: What to buy for a man............
QUOTE (DEye @ January 20, 2006, 06:07) QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 19, 2006, 19:38)....buy 'em something??? Hell, all they really want is a blowjob first thing in the morning...
A Bj is good for me too! Unless you have a video of BC and her chair diving fetish. Cum to think of it a BJ while it's playing would be good
I could think of one more thing to make that perfect!.....How about having BC giving the while watching her gracefully fall from her chair....
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January 20, 2006, 07:00 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: What to buy for a man............
QUOTE (nykitten @ January 20, 2006, 07:00) QUOTE (DEye @ January 20, 2006, 06:07) QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 19, 2006, 19:38)....buy 'em something??? Hell, all they really want is a blowjob first thing in the morning...
A Bj is good for me too! Unless you have a video of BC and her chair diving fetish. Cum to think of it a BJ while it's playing would be good
I could think of one more thing to make that perfect!.....How about having BC giving the while watching her gracefully fall from her chair....
I like the way you think!
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January 20, 2006, 07:52 |
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nykitten
54 / female Pawling, New York, US
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Re: What to buy for a man............
Great minds think alike!.....
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January 20, 2006, 08:14 |
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hardrock1955
69 / male McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: What to buy for a man............
Hi KB
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January 20, 2006, 08:26 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What to buy for a man............
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December 5, 2009, 00:22 |
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wandering5tar
53 / male London, England, UK
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Re: Re: What to buy for a man............
QUOTE (hardrock1955 @ January 19, 2006, 22:04)
Snap-on tools - that's what every man (and woman) wants !
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December 5, 2009, 14:24 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What to buy for a man............
Santa Claus gave me a big book to read. Happy with books as a present, thank you.
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December 7, 2009, 09:40 |
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cjroxy
59 / couple Hot and Balmy, England, UK
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Re: What to buy for a man............
whatever he desires is fine by me!! lol
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December 7, 2009, 21:57 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What to buy for a man............
I've asked for a mistletoe belt buckle every year for the last 25 years.-------still ain't got one.
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December 8, 2009, 03:57 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: What to buy for a man............
just make your own, glue a lettuce leaf to an old buckle, and let your berries hang out freely...
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December 8, 2009, 04:33 |
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BDshowman
40 / male Dhaka, Bangladesh
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Re: What to buy for a man............
I think in a special day men best gift is a sweet love kiss 4m a girlfriend but not 4m wife!!!
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December 13, 2009, 20:50 |
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