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I'm about to give up..
A 15yrs. old girl get's knocked up by a 20yr. old young man . Baby come's shortly after 16th B-day. Beautiful baby girl! Abusive relationship...leave's him at 18yrs. old and take's the baby. Goes to prison for 3 1/2yrs. at age 19 for selling drugs. The father gains full custody just before the release. Now almost 24yrs. old daughter 7yrs old and I still don't have her.....Going crazy; and needing a little moral support and possibly some advice.
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| January 4, 2006, 08:27 |
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hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: I'm about to give up..
don't give up. anything can be overcome . just takes determination, and lots of good friends. many great friends here. they will do what they can . you are a beautiful lady. things will get much better, keep trying . best of luck to you Amber.    
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| January 4, 2006, 08:35 |
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Re: I'm about to give up..
No, you're not about to give up! If no one has any info or help for you offhand, I'll will happily spend whatever time it takes, to research, and help you make inquiries, and help you get some answers...
Will we need to be researching legal resources in the state of Ohio, or is your daughter in another state? Do you currently have any parental rights, or visitations?
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| January 4, 2006, 08:35 |
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Re: I'm about to give up..
Don't EVER give up, this is your child. No matter what! It might be a battle to get her back, but you have to start somewhere. Do you have a visitation schedule? Fight for your daughter, get as much time as you can with her. Even though it's going to be really tough at times, stay strong! It will all work out. If you need an ear...there are lost of people here willing to listen. And I will be happy to anytime...I have been thru a custody battle myself...had to deal with the system...it sucks but it is possible to beat them!!!
You're in my thoughts...
Jill
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| January 4, 2006, 08:40 |
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Re: I'm about to give up..
Amber, I do not have any experience with custody issues. I did have my first very young though and I would fight until I could fight no more for him if need be. Go get um girl and don't give up!
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| January 4, 2006, 08:54 |
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darkmark666
52 / male
millville, New Jersey, US
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Re: I'm about to give up..
There is probably nothing more worth fighting for! good luck to you, and we can at the very least provide an ear to listen and shoulder to lean on, not exactly my area of expertise, either, but any help I can offer...at your service!
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| January 4, 2006, 11:03 |
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Re: Re: I'm about to give up..
QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 4, 2006, 08:35)No, you're not about to give up! If no one has any info or help for you offhand, I'll will happily spend whatever time it takes, to research, and help you make inquiries, and help you get some answers...
Will we need to be researching legal resources in the state of Ohio, or is your daughter in another state? Do you currently have any parental rights, or visitations?
Never under estimate the people on this sight my friend! What is being said is true. Education is your best tool to get her back. Best of luck!
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| January 4, 2006, 11:12 |
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Re: I'm about to give up..
from here on in do everything by the book, give no-one any other reason's to keep your daughter from you, at the end of the day you are her mother, FACT!!! and most law institution's go more in favour of the mother. i wont sugar coat it, it will proberly be hard but it's possible, dont give up the belief, dont give up full stop. we're all here if you need a shoulder. x
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| January 4, 2006, 11:20 |
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Re: I'm about to give up..
just so i get a better understanding, who was it that went to jail?
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| January 4, 2006, 12:18 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: Re: Re: I'm about to give up..
QUOTE (DEye @ January 4, 2006, 11:12) QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 4, 2006, 08:35)No, you're not about to give up! If no one has any info or help for you offhand, I'll will happily spend whatever time it takes, to research, and help you make inquiries, and help you get some answers...
Will we need to be researching legal resources in the state of Ohio, or is your daughter in another state? Do you currently have any parental rights, or visitations?
Never under estimate the people on this sight my friend! What is being said is true. Education is your best tool to get her back. Best of luck!
Very well put DEye!.....
You really can't get much better advice than everyone has already given you!.....The obvious, NEVER give up!..... 
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| January 4, 2006, 21:54 |
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Re: Re: I'm about to give up..
QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 4, 2006, 08:35)No, you're not about to give up! If no one has any info or help for you offhand, I'll will happily spend whatever time it takes, to research, and help you make inquiries, and help you get some answers...
Will we need to be researching legal resources in the state of Ohio, or is your daughter in another state? Do you currently have any parental rights, or visitations?
Yes, we are both in Ohio. I don't have any parental rights, nor do I have court ordered visitations...However, he does allow her to visit me sometimes on the weekend. It's just not enough! Thanks for offering your assistance...
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| January 5, 2006, 22:36 |
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Re: Re: I'm about to give up..
QUOTE (bikerchick69 @ January 4, 2006, 12:18)just so i get a better understanding, who was it that went to jail?
I did!
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| January 5, 2006, 22:38 |
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Re: I'm about to give up..
I'm really grateful to have come across this website...There are so many great ppl. on here! Thanks soooo much for all the support and words of wisdom...
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| January 5, 2006, 22:42 |
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Re: Re: Re: I'm about to give up..
QUOTE (AmberRomance @ January 5, 2006, 22:38) QUOTE (bikerchick69 @ January 4, 2006, 12:18)just so i get a better understanding, who was it that went to jail? I did!
k, i thought thats what you meant but wanted to check beforehand. I"ve seen stuff like this happen and my advice would be just to keep diong all you can do to show them you're a hard working (let alone, hot lookin)mama and that you would do almost anything to have time with her as well. Basically, you gotta kiss some ass in order to get to see her and even keep her. So, do all you can do girlie!! Good luck to you!
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| January 5, 2006, 22:48 |
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Re: I'm about to give up..
Might I suggest that you try to contact a legal aid office to see if they can help you...pro-bono. You might also be able to petition the court yourself. You have got to start somewhere. Yes, you have made mistakes in the past, we all have. But it's important to stick with your ultimate goal...getting to spend more time with her.
The first step you could take is call CYS and ask them how you go about getting visitation with your daughter. Do they have rules you have to abide by? What is it that they want to "see" from you? Show them that you want her in your life and that you have changed your life around.
Next would be to file a petition with the courts. The more support you have, the better. Seek letters from professionals, friends, and family...speaking on your behalf. Keep track of how often you get your daughter...VERY IMPORTANT. Let them see that the father is willing to allow you to spend time with her, so therefore, he must trust you with her. That would be a hard one to argue in court...he would have to explain why it is okay sometimes but not on a regular basis. Speaking from experience, that won't look good for him.
Also, if your daughter wants to spend more time with you, they will take that into consideration. You may have to do some fighting with the system, but I honestly can't see their justification in keeping her from you. I beleive that you have more leverage than you realize.
Tell them you realize that it would be an adjustment for your daughter and that you want seek partial physical custody, starting with one day during the week and every other weekend. And then have an evaluation after, let's say 90 days, to possibly increase the visitation schedule to two days a week and every other weekend. If it came to it, I would even suggest supervised visits...maybe at your parents...anything just so they can see for themselves that there is no logical reason for you not to be able to spend time with her. And supervised visits will suck, no matter who is doing the "supervising" but it is a start. No matter how frustrated you get with it, just remember your ultimate goal. Basically whatever works best for your schedule.
Let them know that you have put a lot of thought into this and that you want to do what is best for your daughter and that is to have both her parents in her life. No matter what mistakes you have made, she still deserves to know you and vise versa.
I would be happy to help any way that I can. PA law is a little different, but I do unfortunately have some experience in this. DON'T YOU EVER GIVE UP!!! It will be worth it in the end. Best of luck to you... ((((((hugs to you)))))
Jill
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| January 6, 2006, 05:06 |
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