Pidz
60 / male
Always-Under-Dressed, England, UK
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30 Things I've learned from watching Porn Movies and found educating...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman, 5 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with semen.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving head.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. Giving head will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 1970's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those titties are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect cock and slap it repeatedly on a woman's buttocks.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they always "high five" each other, (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses will suck a patient's cock.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Butt holes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during getting head, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
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