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What to do.............................................
What do you do if you have been told you husband has cheated on you. And you in someways believe it?
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| December 10, 2005, 19:15 |
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Re: What to do.............................................
Well if its you thats been cheated on then someones crazy..BIG TIME !!!!...and investigate yourself, don't believe half of what you hear..
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| December 10, 2005, 19:28 |
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xhibiton
52 / male
Louisville, Kentucky, US
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Re: What to do.............................................
I've always heard that if there is already a suspicion, there may be something to it.
That said, you'd definitely want firm evidence before confronting them. There is usually some tell tale mistake a cheating mate makes, and usually more than one. But definitely have proof.
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| December 10, 2005, 19:49 |
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Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (fallenangel @ December 10, 2005, 19:15)What do you do if you have been told you husband has cheated on you. And you in someways believe it?
Dammit, just a little doubt sure can eat away at you, and nuttin' hurts worse than a cheating spouse, have you confronted him? (is the type that can be confronted??) I beleive (and I'm probably in a minority here) that marraige is very serious business, not the "oh well, why not, if it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce" kinda thing. One of the most wonderful things about being married is that there is alway someone there , no matter what, that will give you the benefit of the doubt...
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| December 10, 2005, 21:49 |
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msred
48 / female
somewhere in, Massachusetts, US
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Re: What to do.............................................
Well I went to the source and called her myself. Got her side of the story then confronted him with the details.
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| December 10, 2005, 22:11 |
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Re: Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (xhibiton @ December 10, 2005, 19:49) There is usually some tell tale mistake a cheating mate makes, and usually more than one. But definitely have proof.
ah yes, that reminds me of some women's magazines that occasionally will publish a list of signs that you man is cheating....they all have pretty much the same things on all their lists...things like...
Buying new underwear, or wearing his best underwear (the silk boxers!) just to go to work, or to have a few beers with the guys.
Increase in vanity...checking himself out in the mirrors, allot!
Increase in showers and other grooming habits.
(or is in a hurry to take a shower as soon as he gets home, or comes home freshly showered.)
Sudden change in habits. (suddenely he's joined a bowling league that bowls twice a week, or so he says!)
And of course, the even more obvious (men can be so freakin' transparent) the strange phone calls, items in is car that don't belong to him..or you. Suddenly, hes a big ass kissin' suck up patronizing you every moment he gets the chance
etc....
Actually, there's allot of wisdom in some of this cheesy lists...
What is right for you to do, depends on things like...how long have you been married, any children that need consideration, do you believe this is his first time, (if it is true) and do you want to work hard to save the marraige, and then, are you capable of being able to forgive and forget so that you both can move on?
Regardless, no hurry, no sense in going off half cocked right now...take your time to really think things over...
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| December 10, 2005, 22:35 |
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Re: What to do.............................................
You know, it takes years to build trust and only suspicion to ruin it. Be sure you trust the person that told you and that they don't have their own agenda. For some reason if they get away with it once, they will continue to do it. I have also been told that they do it because it is "more exciting" and "the sex is better". If he is, Fallen Angel, it seems to us that he may be losing more that he bargained for! As for the men in my life that cheated on me, PISS ON 'EM! I laugh now when I run into them...because they WILL EVENTUALLY know that they F***ED UP! Best of luck to you... 
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| December 11, 2005, 05:02 |
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Re: Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (Leviathan4u @ December 10, 2005, 19:28)Well if its you thats been cheated on then someones crazy..BIG TIME !!!!...and investigate yourself, don't believe half of what you hear..
yes I was the one cheated on....
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| December 11, 2005, 18:35 |
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Re: Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (Jacknjill143 @ December 11, 2005, 05:02)You know, it takes years to build trust and only suspicion to ruin it. Be sure you trust the person that told you and that they don't have their own agenda. For some reason if they get away with it once, they will continue to do it. I have also been told that they do it because it is "more exciting" and "the sex is better". If he is, Fallen Angel, it seems to us that he may be losing more that he bargained for! As for the men in my life that cheated on me, PISS ON 'EM! I laugh now when I run into them...because they WILL EVENTUALLY know that they F***ED UP! Best of luck to you...
Thank you yall sure are nice people..
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| December 11, 2005, 18:37 |
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Re: Re: Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (fallenangel @ December 11, 2005, 18:35) QUOTE (Leviathan4u @ December 10, 2005, 19:28)Well if its you thats been cheated on then someones crazy..BIG TIME !!!!...and investigate yourself, don't believe half of what you hear..
yes I was the one cheated on....
Well hell then ..cum out to Calif. and I'll take care of ya personally..
 
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| December 11, 2005, 18:39 |
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columbus17
59 / male
Memphis, Tennessee, US
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Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (fallenangel @ December 10, 2005, 19:15)What do you do if you have been told you husband has cheated on you. And you in someways believe it?
Take a short trip to Mississippi and get even with him. 
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| December 12, 2005, 17:56 |
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Re: Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (columbus17 @ December 12, 2005, 17:56) QUOTE (fallenangel @ December 10, 2005, 19:15)What do you do if you have been told you husband has cheated on you. And you in someways believe it?
Take a short trip to Mississippi and get even with him.
lol now that sounds fun where at....
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| December 12, 2005, 19:03 |
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darkmark666
52 / male
millville, New Jersey, US
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Re: What to do.............................................
Always good advise here, Angel I hope yer' listening! Theraputic here Ain't it?
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| December 12, 2005, 20:15 |
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artful1
57 / male
Manhattan, New York, US
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Re: What to do.............................................
A simple inquiry would be appropriate.If ever fact-finding was important,it is in this case.Chazzy is right,you will need to make a determination from a sit-down with him,if possible.It should be non-confrontational and prefaced with a total honesty from you about your love for him(if it exists)and your concern
about the rumor.Your reltionship is at stake.You will need to proceed carefully.We are not in possession of your knowledge of your relationship.We have no previous or current detailed history of your time spent together.Only you two and God are in possession of that knowledge.You will need to rely on both to determine the truth and the road ahead.
Best to you both.
Peace and Blessings,
Artful1
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| December 13, 2005, 08:37 |
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Re: What to do.............................................
I agree with all that has been offered and wonder then what the level of " Open Marriage " there is? I always see Married( open Marriage ) but always find it isn't that open. Gets quite confusing and somethings opens doors to encounters that should never have happened. If a marriage is open, then it would seem obvious to me that "all" sexual encounters should be known and discussed before hand...Confused by it myself. Had a few bad experiences with this one. My support is for you FallenAngel.
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| December 13, 2005, 14:53 |
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maidenwolf
56 / couple
port deposit, Maryland, US
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Re: What to do.............................................
well hun all i can say is what my parents told me growing up and they were married 56 yrs bless their souls.if someone can take your mate they are not worth having to begin with period.i know thats no help.do your own investgation and find out for yourself.there ways to find out things and you will eventually know for yourself whats going on .i wish you the best of luck hun..
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| December 13, 2005, 15:07 |
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columbus17
59 / male
Memphis, Tennessee, US
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Re: Re: Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (fallenangel @ December 12, 2005, 19:03) QUOTE (columbus17 @ December 12, 2005, 17:56) QUOTE (fallenangel @ December 10, 2005, 19:15)What do you do if you have been told you husband has cheated on you. And you in someways believe it?
Take a short trip to Mississippi and get even with him. lol now that sounds fun where at....
How about, in the wise words of Van Morrison, Tupelo, honey.
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| December 14, 2005, 16:12 |
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hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: Re: What to do.............................................
QUOTE (maidenwolf @ December 13, 2005, 15:07)well hun all i can say is what my parents told me growing up and they were married 56 yrs bless their souls.if someone can take your mate they are not worth having to begin with period.i know thats no help.do your own investgation and find out for yourself.there ways to find out things and you will eventually know for yourself whats going on .i wish you the best of luck hun..
I agree , if they are cheating then send them packing, if they were truly in love , then they could NOT cheat , no matter how great the temptation. What has happened to such things as honesty and trust? After you get cheated on it's hard to trust anyone again, the cheater goes on , not realizing or caring,that they have screwed up your trust in mankind for life. The ones that can be trusted, are always looked at with a skeptical eye, because of the actions of someone that only wants to use , then move on to the next conquest. 
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| December 16, 2005, 08:59 |
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