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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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Doc426
74 / male
Los Angeles, California, US
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THE TOILET SEAT
My girl friend had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while she was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.
When she came home, she undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the john. When she tried to stand up she found the not quite dry epoxy paint had glued her to the seat.
About that time, I got home and realized her problem. We both pushed and pulled without any success. In desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.) Julie tried to lessen the embarrassment by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."
The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. Just never saw one framed and mounted."
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| December 21, 2015, 08:14 |
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yepper12
74 / male
Jeffersonville, Pennsylvania, US
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Re: THE TOILET SEAT
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| December 21, 2015, 08:43 |
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SuckMe24x7
64 / male
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, US
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Re: THE TOILET SEAT
LoL! 
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| December 22, 2015, 00:36 |
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sexyone1
64 / male
Silver Spring, Maryland, US
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Re: THE TOILET SEAT
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| December 22, 2015, 03:20 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: THE TOILET SEAT
Makes me go, hmmmmm
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| December 22, 2015, 12:50 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: THE TOILET SEAT
thats pretty good thxs for sharing
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| December 24, 2015, 06:41 |
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wandering5tar
54 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: THE TOILET SEAT
This is a traditional poem in the UK
SONIA SNELL
This is the tale of Sonia Snell
To whom an accident befell;
An accident to which was lent
Confusion and embarrassment.
It happened, as it does to many,
That Sonia went to spend a penny,
And entered in with modest grace
The properly appointed place
Provided at the railway station,
And there she sat in meditation,
But with this knowledge unacquainted
The woodwork had been newly painted.
Soon Sonia came to realize
Her inability to rise,
And though she struggled, pulled and yelled,
She found that she was firmly held.
And so she raised a mournful shout
"Please someone come and let me out!"
Her cries for help quite quickly brought
A crowd of every size and sort,
Who stood around and feebly sniggered
And all they said was "I'll be jiggered!".
The Stationmaster and his staff
Were more polite, and did not laugh.
"Cor Blimey!" croaked an ancient porter
"We'll 'ave to soak it off with water!
They tugged at Sonia's hands and feet
But could not get her off the seat.
A carpenter arrived at last
And finding Sonia still stuck fast
Remarked "I know what I can do"
And promptly sawed the seat right through.
Sonia arose, only to find
A wooden halo on her behind.
An ambulance came down the street
And bore her off, complete with seat,
Taking the wooden-bustled gal
Off quickly to the hospital.
They hurried Sonia off inside
After her short but painful ride
And seizing her by heels and head,
Laid her face downward on the bed.
Male students all came on parade
To render her immediate aid,
With prodding fingers, probing thumb,
They each examined Sonia's bum.
Then, to ensure there was no pain,
They all examined it again.
"How are you feeling?" "Fine," said she,
"It's how YOU feel that bothers me."
The surgeon came and cast his eyes
Upon the scene with some surprise.
"Well, well " he said "Upon my word",
"Could anything be more absurd?
Have any of you, I implore,
Seen anything like this before?"
"Yes," said an intern, unashamed,
"Frequently, - but never framed."
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| January 30, 2016, 20:11 |
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Richards
57 / male
Wichita, Kansas, US
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Re: THE TOILET SEAT
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| February 6, 2016, 23:27 |
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