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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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OMG Those EMT's !!!
I have a feeling you all a few stories of your own being so many of you are volunteer what evers where you live....
I have been watching these two shows tonight that have kept me laughing for a couple of hours.The first is "Sex sent me to the ER" and the other I think was called "Those OMG EMT Moments"
So there was one couple that the man went out to get drunk with friends came home and did a striptease for his wife, even though she was sleeping. She did wake up but decided to see what all the noise was and instead of turning the light on she grabbed her lighter to light a candle on her night stand and missed the candle but lit the guys cock on fire. He had spilled a drink on his lap earlier in the evening so it went up like fireworks.To make it worse his Aunt worked in the ER and was front and center for the whole show when they got there.
Then there was the woman that came into the ER screaming in pain. At first she would not say why she was in pain just that it hurt and she wanted it to stop. Her husband came in a few minutes later trying to explain that he was late because the hotel manager kept him there so that's why he couldn't come in with his wife. Someone at the hotel heard the wife screaming and they thought he was beating her or something. She was in to much of a hurry to get to the ER to explain it to the management. Buy the time she told the doctor that the reason she was in pain was she had "Rocks" in her he looked very confused. It turned out they had been playing with POP ROCKS, the candy. It turns out that although many people have used these, including myself....that some people are VERY sensitive to them and should not use them . I only used them on him I did not have them used on me and after seeing that I don't think I ever will. The doctor explained the pop rocks in the vagina can cause severe pain and irritation if you are sensitive.
But the two stories that really got me laughing may make some people cringe. The first was the fire department was asked to go check on an elderly man that a daughter has not been able to reach for a few days. (Some towns EMT's are the fire department)So three Firemen go in and one is a rookie. The see an old man on the floor. He looked kind of grey and they checked his wrist for a pulse. They didn't find a pulse so they called it in as a dead person. Next thing you know the old guy sits up! These three firemen start screaming and running around like I do when I see a mouse.The captain actually runs into a wall and knocks himself unconscious. Turned out the guy had low blood pressure and sometimes with that you can't get a pulse in the wrist if its low enough.The best part was the old man made fun of them and called them little girls. Their peers also made fun of them forever after that call.
OKAY I had to save the best for last... A guy calls the EMT's but doesn't tell them why. When they get there the guy answers the door holding his UNCONSCIOUS girlfriend against him and then explains he can't put her down because his cock is stuck inside her. So they ask why she is unconscious. He says she told him to hit her in the head with a pan to knock her out so her muscles would relax and they wouldn't be stuck together anymore.The EMT's face was priceless. She said it took everything in her not to laugh at these idiots. They wound up having the EMT's try lubing them up (After they got the woman to wake up) and still could not get them apart. They said it is a condition where the vaginal muscles involuntarily CLAMPS down and doesn't release and they had to treat it like an "IMPALEMENT". So they took them to the ER for the Doctors to deal with the situation. I assume they would have to give her muscle relaxers of some type maybe both would need them. Either way they said it is VERY PAINFUL to get STUCK IN THAT SITUATION. Sorry I couldn't help myself.
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| May 18, 2014, 07:33 |
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ashkats
65 / couple
crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
just glad it wasn't rubber cement for lube...
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| August 9, 2014, 17:01 |
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wandering5tar
53 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
There once was a harlot from Crewe
Who filled up her pussy with glue
She said with a grin
If they pay to get in
They can pay to get out of it too!
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| August 10, 2014, 13:24 |
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ashkats
65 / couple
crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
at least it don't pull ya in faster then ya pull out.
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| August 11, 2014, 22:27 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
You guys always make me laugh...
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| August 13, 2014, 07:04 |
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sybianwatcher1
49 / male
Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 13, 2014, 07:04)You guys always make me laugh...
If they don't find me handsome, they should at least find me funny.
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| August 13, 2014, 15:22 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
QUOTE (sybianwatcher1 @ August 13, 2014, 15:22) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 13, 2014, 07:04)You guys always make me laugh...
If they don't find me handsome, they should at least find me funny.
you must be a riot then... 
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| August 13, 2014, 22:47 |
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sybianwatcher1
49 / male
Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: Re: Re: Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
QUOTE (lonelyandhorny @ August 13, 2014, 22:47) QUOTE (sybianwatcher1 @ August 13, 2014, 15:22) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 13, 2014, 07:04)You guys always make me laugh...
If they don't find me handsome, they should at least find me funny. you must be a riot then...
 
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| August 13, 2014, 23:20 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
Hansom, funny,firefighter, soldier and a cowboy is almost to much for any woman to handle.Add musician and you could kill a woman. Maybe that's why they keep you so far away from civilisation.You might just be Canada's secret weapon.LOL
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| August 14, 2014, 06:38 |
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sybianwatcher1
49 / male
Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 14, 2014, 06:38)Hansom, funny,firefighter, soldier and a cowboy is almost to much for any woman to handle.Add musician and you could kill a woman. Maybe that's why they keep you so far away from civilisation.You might just be Canada's secret weapon.LOL
Well thanks for the compliment Newbs...But I'm just a man like any other...I still have to stop and think when I tie my shoes.
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| August 15, 2014, 05:19 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Re: Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
QUOTE (sybianwatcher1 @ August 15, 2014, 05:19) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 14, 2014, 06:38)Hansom, funny,firefighter, soldier and a cowboy is almost to much for any woman to handle.Add musician and you could kill a woman. Maybe that's why they keep you so far away from civilisation.You might just be Canada's secret weapon.LOL
Well thanks for the compliment Newbs...But I'm just a man like any other...I still have to stop and think when I tie my shoes.
I thought that's why cowboys wear boots.
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| August 15, 2014, 05:59 |
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sybianwatcher1
49 / male
Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: Re: Re: Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 15, 2014, 05:59) QUOTE (sybianwatcher1 @ August 15, 2014, 05:19) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 14, 2014, 06:38)Hansom, funny,firefighter, soldier and a cowboy is almost to much for any woman to handle.Add musician and you could kill a woman. Maybe that's why they keep you so far away from civilisation.You might just be Canada's secret weapon.LOL
Well thanks for the compliment Newbs...But I'm just a man like any other...I still have to stop and think when I tie my shoes.
I thought that's why cowboys wear boots.
Yah beat Kiss to it !!!...and yes, thats why we wear boots, but I do wear lace up Red Wings, and my Turn Out boots for fire fighting are Kevlar lace up.
There isn't any pavement or sidewalks for 30 kilometeres so the high narrow heel, and rocks are a recipe for a twisted ankle.
Somehow ,my hired cowgirl wears her Tony Lama's around here and manages to remain upright.
Canada's secret weapon....I like that !!!
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| August 15, 2014, 14:47 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 14, 2014, 06:38)Hansom, funny,firefighter, soldier and a cowboy is almost to much for any woman to handle.Add musician and you could kill a woman. Maybe that's why they keep you so far away from civilisation.You might just be Canada's secret weapon.LOL
He's not too much for the right woman.
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| August 15, 2014, 15:11 |
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sybianwatcher1
49 / male
Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: Re: Re: OMG Those EMT's !!!
QUOTE (Iwant2kssuallovr @ August 15, 2014, 15:11) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ August 14, 2014, 06:38)Hansom, funny,firefighter, soldier and a cowboy is almost to much for any woman to handle.Add musician and you could kill a woman. Maybe that's why they keep you so far away from civilisation.You might just be Canada's secret weapon.LOL
He's not too much for the right woman.
Oh ,..I like that too...!!!..I'm only to much to handle when I get over excited.
You do have some Canadian in your genetics from a ways back if I recall right.
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| August 15, 2014, 17:47 |
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