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Ok I need advice
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| September 5, 2012, 00:25 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
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| September 5, 2012, 01:23 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
Totally agree with Dark Shadow. If he was doing that to his fiance then he is definately not good for you.
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| September 5, 2012, 01:31 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Ok I need advice
Run, run Lauren... FAST!!!!!!
Just be glad you found out now he is a liar and a fraud. Five months will seem like nothing later versus years of living with a LIAR!!!
And, I do speak from experience. I was young once, and trusting. Let me see, thing my ex lied about...Hmmmm, almost everything!
He was living with a girl while we were dating. Must have been why his sister-in-law was kinda cold when I spoke to her over the phone. ... I was the other woman.
He was/is an alcoholic.. why did I get involved? Never saw him take a drink, EVER!!! But everyone else knew.
He had no driver's license. As is turned out it was DUI's. '
Lies... all lies. Do yourself a favor... RUN! You deserve so much better, but you won't get it with this dude.
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| September 5, 2012, 01:35 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
Well what hurts is that this same situation has happened to me twice
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| September 5, 2012, 01:37 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
I just don't know how I end up back here in this same spot
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| September 5, 2012, 01:45 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
Just continue to stay smart, Lauren. You're young; you'll find yourself more resilient over time. Experience as you know is the best of our teachers. So take these guys at face value. But follow the old adage -- "Trust but verify". Like Kiss shared, you suspect something not quite right, check it out as best you can; and if that guy isn't truthful, he'll never be trustworthy. Get rid of them and move on. At your age, it can feel like it's all over when you go through these hurtful times , but there are plenty of the right type guys out there for you; some may even be looking, others may need you to look for them.
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| September 5, 2012, 01:49 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
He just txt me and told me it's his pycho ex that wants him but he doesn't want her I don't know what to believe .....he told me he is shuting down his networking site so she doesn't do it again I want to believe him but I'm scared
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| September 5, 2012, 01:58 |
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sybianwatcher1
49 / male
Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: Ok I need advice
Honey.. he started out bullshitting to you, and you know he's probably been doing it all along, turn your back and ride off into the sunset. You deserve better treatment and in your heart you know it, your dignity is what seperates you from them now.
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| September 5, 2012, 02:05 |
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ashkats
65 / couple
crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: Ok I need advice
yep turn the other way fast...... 
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| September 5, 2012, 02:44 |
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Mooant
41 / male
New Britain, Connecticut, US
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Re: Ok I need advice
Even if he is telling the truth, psycho ex's never go away. The fact that she even found your number means she has access to his phone, or phone records, which is not something an ex should even have access to.
You're young and intelligent. Take your time and find someone worth your love and affection. Don't let yourself be blinded by your feelings.
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| September 5, 2012, 03:27 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Re: Ok I need advice
QUOTE (missLauren @ September 5, 2012, 01:58)He just txt me and told me it's his pycho ex that wants him but he doesn't want her I don't know what to believe .....he told me he is shuting down his networking site so she doesn't do it again I want to believe him but I'm scared
Lies I tell you, all lies! It is always someone else's fault. A month is a spit in the bucket. You may have to spit a bunch before you find someone decent.
You will save yourself a lot of heartache later on you can weed these idiots out. Let them come to you, do for you.... I swear, I wish someone had slapped me in the face and helped me realize how wrong my situation was.
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| September 5, 2012, 04:09 |
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GG317
60 / male
Bowl of Granola, Massachusetts, US
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Re: Ok I need advice
What I would find hard to believe, is how an ex would come up with your number, unless he was still seeing her too. Seems odd if you question it. Run, don't walk to the nearest exit, on this one. He's either a liar as everyone says, or he's still carrying around past relationship baggage. Those kinds of guys are the worst for any kind of relationship, because they are spinless jellyfish when it comes to beautiful women such as yourself. I wouldn't doubt that there maybe a few more girls out there who still think he's solely theirs, and they're about to get a rude awakening. 
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| September 5, 2012, 04:21 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Ok I need advice
Lauren I don't really think anyone is telling you anything you don't know. I'm sure it feels good to have people confirm your feelings. Sometimes (women especially) do these posts hoping someone will tell them to do the opposite so they can justify going back with jerks like this.
If you find yourself being in this situation multiple times then it is time to take inventory of your self esteem. Sorry to be so blunt but sometimes I believe its needed. OK Most times I think it's needed. You seem to be an intelligent young women. Look at it from a objective viewpoint. Do you really need us to confirm this guy is a looser and that you need to tell him to fuck off and never contact you in any form again? You know what the right thing to do is here.
The other thing is your age works against you. Sorry, but at one month into a relationship you are infatuated and in lust but not IN LOVE.Love is something that you can't know until the novelty of the relationship wears off. I know it's hard to tell the difference. We have all been your age and thought we were "in love" more than once at the time. Now it makes me smile to think about it. I have to admit I didn't have a clue what real love was. That's not to say I didn't love some of these guys but, I was not IN LOVE. I love them in a way that I love someone that you get close to and care about but that's different.I am still friends with some of those guys.
Lauren, you are old enough to know how life works. You know that it's not about the hot sex or the crap he tells you . You can get that from a lot of guys. A relationship is much more complicated that that and I believe you know that. It hurts sometimes because you think you are dealing with the guy you have in your head then reality smacks you right across the face. I remember sitting with my best friend on the beach when we were somewhere between 16 and 19 and we made a list of what we felt our "PERFECT MAN" would be for us. OMG I can't even begin to list the things that are meaningless to me at this age. Your priorities will change as you mature. I don't mean sacrifice or give up on things because you are older and didn't find it either, I mean change. I don't feel like I have given up anything and I feel I am in a great relationship. The difference is that at 19 you don't care about things like if the guy has an opinion on the decor of your house that you will share or that you like spending time with his family.
That's OK you shouldn't have those thoughts at your age, but you should demand ONE THING. You should DEMAND RESPECT! This guys does not respect you. His so called EX got your number because he has some type of relationship with her. You know that in your heart. stop ignoring your instincts and start DEMANDING respect from anyone you date ,or have as a friend or associate with.You should also have respect for the person you are with. Relationships are a two way street.
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| September 5, 2012, 08:48 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
Wonder if he's still engaged----lol
Sorry this happened to you. Take the advice above and RUN. You deserve much better.
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| September 5, 2012, 14:05 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
Yep, what OOMG said!
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| September 5, 2012, 14:11 |
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Re: Re: Ok I need advice
QUOTE (missLauren @ September 5, 2012, 01:37)Well what hurts is that this same situation has happened to me twice
Always, make sure he is willing for you to meet his family and friends....something a guy with a girlfriend or fiance will try to wiggle out of...make sure he is willing to let you visit his place, a gf or fiance will definitly have her mark there he won't want you to see it.... you have your red flags, heed them. If he keeps you seperate from his personal and family life, then chances are he's a cheater.
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| September 5, 2012, 15:00 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
Chazzy gave some very good advice there. You're not the only to ever have this happen. Go forward, remember it, but don't dwell on it. If something doesn't feel quit right, then question it. Prolly wouldn't hurt to question it anyway.---hehe
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| September 5, 2012, 23:44 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Ok I need advice
Yes, you sometimes never know? Like the time my girlfriend found the guy she was dating on a T.V. show, "America's Most Wanted".
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| September 6, 2012, 01:40 |
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sybianwatcher1
49 / male
Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: Re: Ok I need advice
QUOTE (Iwant2kssuallovr @ September 6, 2012, 01:40)
Yes, you sometimes never know? Like the time my girlfriend found the guy she was dating on a T.V. show, "America's Most Wanted".
suuuuuuure....a friend?
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| September 6, 2012, 02:55 |
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Re: Ok I need advice
Well, I don't think any of us get through life without some bad decisions, we've all been there.
We love ya, Miss Lauren...you're a fine young woman
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| September 6, 2012, 12:17 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Re: Ok I need advice
QUOTE (Chazzy @ September 6, 2012, 12:17)Well, I don't think any of us get through life without some bad decisions, we've all been there.
We love ya, Miss Lauren...you're a fine young woman
I've made more than my share of bad decisions so I have a few of you covered so you don't have too.
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| September 6, 2012, 16:56 |
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onehornee
64 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Re: Ok I need advice
Sorry to learn of this Lauren,your a pretty young Woman and I hate to see this sort of thing happening to you.Unfortunately its hard sometimes to see when someones Lying to you.My first wife kept her bisexual escapades from me for years,and it cost us the relationship.Not that I would have had that much trouble with her Bisexuality,but I would have liked the heads up.
First thing I would tell you ?I know it hurts but Try not to take this personal,Its never OK for someone to misrepresent themselves.Stay true to yourself and keep in mind when looking at someone as a perspective lover you deserve someone that will be honest with you.
You have good looks and youth on your side Lauren.I think we all have the right person out there ,it just sometimes sucks going through all the wrong ones till you find the right one.
Good luck Lauren hope our comments help ..
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| September 8, 2012, 14:57 |
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