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droxjones
33 / male
Detroit, Michigan, US
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get her Reinterested in me/sex
my girlfriend and i have been dating for 4 years and our sex life has slowly slowed down. we used to have sex almost every day and we both loved it, now we only do it about once a month. i workout almost everyday and keep in shape hoping she'll notice me more and want to do it more but i cant seem to get her re-interested in having sex more. help
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| July 14, 2012, 22:26 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: get her Reinterested in me/sex
It's natural for the sex between a couple to hit highs and lows.
Lack of sex is a long term relaionship is usually not the problem but the symptom of a problem.
Who usually iniates sex and makes the first move?
The differences of men and women run deep, women are more likely to want to talk about the relationship and men tend to want to steer away from the whole "sharing their feelings" so if you wants to know what's going on, you just have ask and listen and you might have to ask more than once.
Men are the visually stimulated ones and all it takes for us (women) to spark an interest is as simple as a little flaunt and lingere type of thing. For women, it's more complicated than that and it takes a stimulation of mind and heart to rev us up. (Athough, your time at the gym is well spent, ya look good!)
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| July 15, 2012, 11:50 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: get her Reinterested in me/sex
Oh my, wait till you experience this one. What drops a ladies sex drive by 90%? Cutting the wedding cake. Then all the sudden you get "Oh, I really did not like doing that." And in our mind we are thinking (and sceaming), "Thats part of the reason I married you!" lol. Further down the road this may happen: When you go to the refridgerator, and its empty, you are going to the store. We guys can really suck huh? Chazzy, was spot on, on this. Agreed, the gym appears very helpful. After years of haevy tire work, I was built a lot like you. But my "suit" got bigger, and gravity happened. Good luck.
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| July 15, 2012, 13:11 |
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onehornee
64 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Re: get her Reinterested in me/sex
I agree with Chazzy 100%,I have 26 yrs in long term relationships ,Sometimes our lovelife would get to much like a rerun,from hours of work restricting our time we tend to get it done so to speak taking passion from the mix,Always the same in bed can become ruitine,once that happens your on a slippery slope.Can you remember the last time you Romanced her,from my personal experience you can begin to build your lovers arousal sometimes even when your not around her.I like to flirt with mine,call her during the day just to let her know your thinking about her,let her know you cant wait to get back home.Every woman has different things that they really love ,think about yours and what might rekindle the passions between you.Does she come home stressed out,maybe a nice message to releive her days stress.Maybe surprise her with a candlelite dinner,Sometimes nonsexual physical contact just cuddling or holding hands watching a movie can start her wheels rolling,there are times putting your lovers needs before yours can really show her you care for her more then just for sex,,With woman its the emotional things that ignite a desire and passion.For me I can see my lady bend over to get something out of the fridge and I'm turned on,its all about the physical for us  Im sad to hear your problem.I know there are several awsome ladies in this site that have solid advice,But anything I can share I will...good luck and remember to step back and take a good look at your situation..And maybe the solution will present itself..oh and keeping yourself fit is good for you on so many levels WTG..
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| July 15, 2012, 14:12 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: get her Reinterested in me/sex
Chazzy and One are spot on. It's hard to explain this but I will give it a try. If she feels like the only time you touch her or pay real attention to her is when you want to get her into bed that can be a turn off at times. As One had said try to pay attention without pressure. She will usually give you signals when she wants it to go further. I will give you guys this, it's hard to tell sometimes. You can run into a "Why didn't you try to sleep with me" mood, OR a ""Why is it you can't just hold me and watch a movie on the couch" mood. I didn't say we are easy.lol You really should try to open the doors of communication before you try to open her legs.You might get a better idea of whats going on. That's not saying she really understands herself. Sometimes it's just that you get comfortable in a routine.As Chazzy said ,as relationships go longer they do have a bit of a change.I don't feel it's as Perve had said however. I think it all depends on the people involved and the effort you both put into it. I have been in long term relationships that we still pretty much attacked each other ever day, another where there was nothing going on. Although that ended in divorce. Although that was because I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him.I wish you luck.
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| July 16, 2012, 03:28 |
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