I nominate me. Im 400 pounds, bald with pock marks all over my body and oozing zits. Im missing all of my front teeth, Im covered with hair all over my body that I could braid. My eyes are crossed, on leg is shorter than the other, I only have 3 fingers on each hand, I havent seen my genitals since the last time I held a mirror down there and have a definite moldy cheese aroma around me.
Having said that, Im sure that there are thousands of woman that want me, so instead of endless dates, submit an application so that I dont need to break any hearts. I know I'll be in high demand!

Hey kiss I was going to say that I was his perfect match . You beat me to it.

I am about 3 feet tall and 350 pounds. I have a flat head (Great for resting your bear on)I am missing my front teeth as well and of course that is great for those who are a bit nervous about teeth.It also creates a great tight suction effect.I have extremely long toes, they come in handy for giving a foot job for those who like a bit of more kinky style sex.My hands are callused so that when I give you a hand job you have some texture as well as exfoliates your skin at the same time.My eyes look in different direction at the same time so I can watch what I'm doing as well as look at you at you at the same time for that more intimate feeling of closeness by looking at each other in the eye.I douche with bleach on a daily basis for that fresh clean scent. And of course to make sure that 99.9%of all germs are killed just as the package says.

So you see, I really do think we would be a perfect match .

  QUOTE (freensleazy @ May 15, 2012, 23:56)
FREE!! I found her for you......they are looking for a sperm donor at the L.A. zoo for the female gorilla,she can't write you an application,but I hear she's not that picky,she also likes cheese,will clean you of any fleas and ticks,likes it rough in the sack,and if she gets turned on she'll piss on your leg....you might have a shot at finally getting laid buddy

We will make a perfect match , as I am .. I can't do this!! I just can't.

I nominate me. Im 400 pounds, bald with pock marks all over my body and oozing zits. Im missing all of my front teeth, Im covered with hair all over my body that I could braid. My eyes are crossed, on leg is shorter than the other, I only have 3 fingers on each hand, I havent seen my genitals since the last time I held a mirror down there and have a definite moldy cheese aroma around me.
Having said that, Im sure that there are thousands of woman that want me, so instead of endless dates, submit an application so that I dont need to break any hearts. I know I'll be in high demand!