You know how irritating mobile phone users are when they think the world needs to know their business?

After a busy day Harry settled down in his seat on the train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his destination - Winchester - when a fellow sitting near him took out his mobile and started up:

"Hi darling it's Peter, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the 6.30 not the 4.30 but I had a long meeting - no, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss. No darling, you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart" etc., etc.

This was still going on at Wimbledon, when the young woman opposite, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice, "Hey, Peter, turn that bloody phone off and come back to bed!!"

(yes, I would do this)