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what
45 / male
winder, Georgia, US
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Help me Please
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| August 25, 2005, 22:56 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Help me Please
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| August 26, 2005, 01:28 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Help me Please
my mom used to say 'may she rest in peace ' its good when its good when its not get the hell out.
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| August 26, 2005, 01:30 |
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Re: Help me Please
Well, first off, just wanna say, thank you for letting some of us women know there are still guys like you out there!!
I am one who believes that a long term relationship should'nt just end untill ever means have been exhausted to save it. (if not, then there's all this stupid "guilt" and "regret" crap to deal with"
You are a very attentive man, most of us would kill for that, but maybe it's time to back off a little, give her a little space, let her breathe.
You know the old sayings, "Don't know whatcha got, till it's gone" and "being taken for granted".
I hate to bring this up, but we (women) do have to deal with a constant cycle of changing hormones, not only monthly, but through all our lives, stress and weight loss or gain, medications and drugs, even diet changes can upset the balance from time to time, yeah, we can get pretty moody, but I'm gonna stick with the above suggestion and say it again, just back off and let her breathe a little. Give it all you got, and if it still doesn't work out, at least you know you didn't fail, the relationship failed.
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| August 26, 2005, 04:32 |
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pepper
56 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: Help me Please
QUOTE (what @ August 25, 2005, 22:56)I have no clue to what I am trying to say in all this. I guess, I am just venting and hoping for some suggestions. Does any of that shit make sense?
What do women want in life?
What makes a woman happy?
What makes a woman feel wanted and needed?
Help me and others like me understand women just a little better.
Peace
I can not speak for all women, only for myself. Everything you said does make sense. I have a wonderful husband who take excellent care of me in all ways.
1)What do women want?
Honestly, it varies. I wanted a man who would be there for me for anything and everything. He is. I can ask him to do anything and he will. He can ask me the same. Sound simple? It both is and isn't.
2) what makes a woman happy? Again, it depends on the woman. In my case, it's having his attention on me as much as I can. If he has to go to work, it's a good book and a bath. Lol, I guess my needs to be happy are pretty simple. I don't want the earth or the moon, I don't want to be rich, I just want his love, attention and time. I have all of that, so I am happy.
3) What makes a woman feel wanted and needed?
she has to be willing to tell you. You're right, you can't guess. Guessing will only make you more frustrated and resentful in the long run, as well as less willing to even try and find out.
You both have to talk. I don't know what I can tell you to get her to talk except, get her drunk and talk then. It may sound silly or just not right and remember, a lot of things may come out that weren't what you're looking for, or what may come out is exactly what you're looking for.
My husband does all of the things for me that you mentioned doing for her. I follow him around like a puppy sometimes, I love him so much.
Sex is a big part of marriage and a relationship. at least 60%. The connection to each others hearts is kept open that way. Yes it helps to talk, always, but your body and hers both need the immediacy of physical contact. that doesn't mean spend 12 of 24 hours in bed, there are other ways and places to have intimacy . Brush the back of her neck with your lips, hold hands, tuck her hand through your elbow when you're walking together. Keep connected to her.
You haven't said what you do for a living, but you did say that you go out of town at least once in a while. Take her with you, if she doesn't work or if she can get the time off. If you have kids, get a babysitter for a couple of days or ask a family member. If they're little, take them with you and drive, don't fly (if it's a reasonable distance and you have the time.). You'd be surprised what you will talk about in a car for several hours.
All of these things come right back around to what she wants. I know it's hard and it might make you feel as though you are nagging at her, but you have to keep asking. If you don't ask, you'll never know.
I hope I helped a little. I'm no therapist or psychiatrist. I don't have any degrees and if I said something the wrong way or something goes wrong, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help. It's just my own experience.
  
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| August 26, 2005, 04:33 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Help me Please
Yeah! Ya see that? We're all there for ya!
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| August 26, 2005, 04:36 |
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armybody
63 / male
Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: Help me Please
You and I have ALOT in common. I'm going to take care of some stuff this morning because I am ON HERE ALL THE TIME.
We will talk. It'll work for you.
Key concepts:
*There is an imbalance that *you* feel in your relationship, not her.
*You are trying to fill a hole that *she* should be repairing.
*She must connect emotionaly(woman brain) to it as you have. You need a way to show that to her so it makes the connection.
I'll be back, or you can mail but perhapse ther are lurkers that can benefit.
Are you open to that?
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| August 26, 2005, 10:47 |
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what
45 / male
winder, Georgia, US
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Re: Help me Please
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| August 29, 2005, 20:34 |
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jess8in2003
66 / male
Gwinette/Walton Co., Georgia, US
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Re: Help me Please
If you love something, let it go...
If it comes back, it's YOURS!
If not...
You have to stalk it, hunt it down, lay a trap, capture it, torture it, then my friend, Im afraid you have to kill it... slowly, until you suck out in it's last dying breath.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
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| August 29, 2005, 21:48 |
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jess8in2003
66 / male
Gwinette/Walton Co., Georgia, US
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Re: Help me Please
Women should be obscene and not heard - Groucho Marx
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| August 29, 2005, 22:06 |
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armybody
63 / male
Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: Help me Please
Let me ask you something W.
If she gets everything she needs out of the relationship what is, or should be, her motivation to please you?
No essay required, but you really need to think about what that asks. It's not rhetorical.
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| August 30, 2005, 07:37 |
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