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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Valentines day is the one holiday that I love and hate at the same time.I love that it's a day that people really spend concentrating on their relationship. It's nice to take the time to remember each other and really reflect on the relationship with your lover instead of all the other day to day crap. HOWEVER,I hate the pressure of feeling obligated to do something "special". I think it's harder on the men. I also hate that normal things get quadrupled in price because they know that if a man doesn't send those flowers or whatever they will be catching hell the rest of the year.
I hate watching my sons go through the scramble of "What should I get her?, Is this enough? Is it to much for the time we have been together? I really can't afford this. Do you think she will be mad if I get her this instead of that? What if I can't get off work that night?" Why don't more women say to their boyfriends "Hey I know your in college and don't have a lot of money, Please don't buy me anything. Lets just spend some time together." Why can't the guys just make a nice dinner or do something else. Why is there always so much pressure to spend a fortune?
It's as bad as proms have become. Everyone trying to out do the other or last year. It makes me mad. Oh, and then there are the people that are NOT in a relationship who basically walk around depressed for weeks, before and even after, because every one they know who is in a relationship is glowing about what they did or got for Valentines day or watched all the annoying commercials that say "If you really love her you will (Go into debt and) buy her a diamond"or "Buy this five foot teddy bear"(that she will have no place to put except on the bed to annoy the man for the rest of his life.)
Let's not forget the horrible chocolates they sell. The good ones are way to expensive so most people buy the bad ones .Those aren't exactly cheep either but at least you won't need a second mortgage on your house to buy them.I wish I could put a sign up in all those stores that sell the disgusting chocolates that says "Just buy the same chocolates you see she enjoys the rest of the year." The filled ones suck! Unless you are buying the $25 a pound ones and even those you have to know what she likes. Half the filled ones get tossed in most houses.
I always loved doing things for my partner for no reason other than I wanted to. I love when my partner does something special for no reason as well. I'm not saying it's not fun to do things for Valentines day I just hate the things I mentioned.No flowers, candy, teddy bear , or jewelry will ever make me feel as good as I feel when I look into the man I loves eyes and see that he loves me.Gifts are nice but it just doesn't come close to that feeling.The one regret I have this year is I can't be with the man I love on Valentines day but I guess I feel that way everyday I can't be with him.
Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable when their partner spends that much money on them? That is not what it is supposed to be about. Even if you have a ton of money, I would want you to give me a gift of time (I have explained this several times so I hope most understand what I mean) rather than an expensive whatever. And why is it that the woman can get away with spending little or nothing but the man has to take a loan out to get the woman a gift?
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| February 9, 2012, 11:05 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
We stopped observing Valentines day after we got married to be honest.
I have never been a big fan of it, hated getting anonymous valentine cards when I was younger (not big on surprises etc). Hated the pressure put on friends and others when they don't get any.
Feel that the pressure for people to be with someone, anyone on Valentines is sometimes far to great to be sensible. Market driven pressure much?
I also don't think that spending tons of money to show your love is real. I understand that some folks like to treat others, but it means more to me that my husband brings home my favourite chocolate bar for no reason, or runs the hoover round the house whilst I am working so I don't have to.
Like tonight he cooked supper so I could have a long hot shower and a relax after a hard day at work. These are the things that matter to me, not buying a card that sits on the side for 24 hours and flowers or chocolates that we can't afford and don't need.
Hmmmmm- that now feels like a rant lol
To all that celebrate Valentine's - have a lovely romantic day 
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| February 9, 2012, 22:03 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Yes Dragonsfire , it it a love hate thing for sure. I do think the pressure is ampted up by the media. We get suckered right in. Just like when we over due on Christmas. It seems we have all gotten away from the meaning of some of what should be the most meaningful holidays.I forgot about how young it starts. I remember doing those little Valentines day cards with the kids. Now many schools give you a list and say you must have a card for each of your classmates because they don't want anyone to feel left out or get less than another student. Hallmark gets rich and we all get stressed.
It's not all bad like I said its a good time to remember to take time for your relationship. Life gets away from us at times.What is the most romantic or sexy thing you or your partner ever did to or for eachother?
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| February 9, 2012, 23:00 |
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kamarel
60 / male
Alexandria, Louisiana, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
So I take it Valentine's Day is soon?
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| February 9, 2012, 23:54 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
the ONLY reason i can easily remember VD is because my sister's birthday is the 13th, and my daughter's is the 12, and more recently...a very special lady, some of you may remember AmberZed? her birthday and Valentine's day are one and the same.
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| February 10, 2012, 03:36 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
QUOTE (kamarel @ February 9, 2012, 23:54)So I take it Valentine's Day is soon?
Yeah and if you even try to forget all the places that look like they through up red hearts will remind you. lol I also know if I were there I wouldn't be freezing at the moment.Just save me a place in your bed when I get there, although it wont be in time for Valentines day thanks to my furnace and hot water heater.ggggrrrrr
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| February 10, 2012, 03:53 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ February 10, 2012, 03:53) QUOTE (kamarel @ February 9, 2012, 23:54)So I take it Valentine's Day is soon?
Yeah and if you even try to forget all the places that look like they through up red hearts will remind you. lol I also know if I were there I wouldn't be freezing at the moment.Just save me a place in your bed when I get there, although it wont be in time for Valentines day thanks to my furnace and hot water heater.ggggrrrrr
that's not rue, the stores had had the red hearts up since the day after Christmas, and they wonder why men forget it...we get confused because they start pushing hearts and flowers and chocolates on us right after Santa visits...sheesh.
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| February 10, 2012, 04:02 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
lmao . That's true LNH they start to blend the holiday's together at some point as well as put things out earlier and earlier. I guess they have the Presidents day and St Patrick's day stuff out and then they go right to Independence day because they had the red, white and blue out. See that's the trick red is left over from Christmas they just move the green over to the St Pat's isle. Then after VD they add the white and blue in for Presidents day. By then they can take down the green but leave the red white and blue for independence day.Somewhere in between they add the Easter stuff in.No wonder you guys are so confused.lol
Guys if you want to assure that you're having a women walking around mad, (And she wont tell you why) make sure you never forget her birthday, your anniversary, and for most women Valentines day
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| February 10, 2012, 08:03 |
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wandering5tar
53 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ February 10, 2012, 08:03)Guys if you want to assure that you're having a women walking around mad, (And she wont tell you why) make sure you never forget her birthday, your anniversary, and for most women Valentines day
The easiest way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
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| February 10, 2012, 09:13 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Re: Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
QUOTE (wandering5tar @ February 10, 2012, 09:13) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ February 10, 2012, 08:03)Guys if you want to assure that you're having a women walking around mad, (And she wont tell you why) make sure you never forget her birthday, your anniversary, and for most women Valentines day
The easiest way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Just do as Jeff Foxworthy said he'd do. Get tats of his wife's birthday, anniverserary, and, never let Ron White drive his car.
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| February 10, 2012, 12:01 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Re: Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
QUOTE (wandering5tar @ February 10, 2012, 09:13) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ February 10, 2012, 08:03)Guys if you want to assure that you're having a women walking around mad, (And she wont tell you why) make sure you never forget her birthday, your anniversary, and for most women Valentines day
The easiest way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
My friend remarried. His new wife set the wedding date on his birhtday so he would never forget their anniversary. I am still not convinced he doesn't forget it.
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| February 10, 2012, 14:50 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
I got 99 problems and but a bitch ain't one.
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| February 10, 2012, 15:03 |
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ashkats
65 / couple
crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
time to go out for a tbone or prim rib
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| February 12, 2012, 01:02 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Have'nt heard it yet, but waiting for our resident top researchers' post, on the real origin of Valentines Day. Here she is, for your reading pleasure, the one, the hot, the only, (did I say hot?), let's all give it up for, KISS! And.....GO!
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| February 13, 2012, 12:30 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
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| February 13, 2012, 14:41 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Atta girl Kiss. Now, don't thet make me feel special. Thx
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| February 13, 2012, 15:41 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Re my note Kiss, would ya hold it against me? Yuk, yuk, yuk.(this is whats known as the ole "Statue of Liberty" move). Oh perve, stop it, you're killin em.
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| February 13, 2012, 16:13 |
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niceguy29
44 / male
Winnemucca, Nevada, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
People assume that everyone has a significant other for Valentine's Day. In 31 years, there has been 1 Valentine's Day that I haven't spent alone. As for the whole money issue, there are too many women out there who feel that they need to be showered with gifts. newbie, if your sons feel that they need to spend a fortune on a girl just to make her happy, she's not worth their time. Valentine's Day is about sharing love, not men going broke just to make women happy. Plus, if a guy spends a fortune one year, he has to spend more the next year, otherwise it's not good enough and he catches hell for it anyway. Love isn't defined by how big the diamond is or how shiny the gold is or even how big the bouquet of flowers or heart shaped box of chocolates is. If a woman isn't ecstatic that a man cares enough to be with her (or schedule a time in close relationship to the day, as I am fully aware that a lot of employers are insensitive like that) and feels she needs material stuff, then she's not worth his time.
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| February 13, 2012, 17:21 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Oh yeah, I do agree with that.
From the TV and Print ads, Valentine's Day is very sexist really. The better the gift the guy buys, the more heated sex the woman is obligated to recipicate with.
A lot of couples would like to just bypass the day, not just single people. I have rarely in my life celebrated a traditional Valentine's Day as a single, dating, or married female . It's really a very awkward holiday.
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| February 13, 2012, 18:34 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Note: Go to bank.
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| February 13, 2012, 19:06 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
That's kind of my point. I feel the meaning if the holiday has been lost. It is supposed to be a day to celebrate live. Take time out of our busy lives to remember how important the people in our lives are. Somehow it became more about outdoing the friend or last year or the bigger the tuft the more you love someone. I tried to tell my sons if the women they are with are expecting that, then they are the wrong women. They are both in college and have limited money. Why are these women not saying "don't get me anything ". I'm not saying my sons cant plan a nice evening,I just think it shouldn't be judged on how much they spend.Maybe I am wrong and these girls have said it but that's not what I have been told. I hope I'm wrong.
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| February 13, 2012, 20:11 |
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ashkats
65 / couple
crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
did a survey the other day 80% were not planning anything
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| February 14, 2012, 05:44 |
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wandering5tar
53 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
I saw cards to be sent from kids to their parents on Valetine's Day??
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| February 14, 2012, 08:33 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Yes Wandering5tar. I get a card from my kids and my Mom and even my brothers. I send them cards most times as well. The general idea is to remember those you love. the cards are not the Romantic cards that couples give. My kids just gave me a card that is three feet high. I think they wanted to make sure I could see it without my glasses.
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| February 14, 2012, 21:37 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Valentines Day good or bad it is around the corner.
Yeah love blah blah romance blah blah...the most important thing is that there's a ton of awesome candy marked down to half price today.
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| February 15, 2012, 17:21 |
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