|
| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
|
wantubad2
54 / male
white creek, New York, US
|
run away
Can anyone tell me why women on dating sites ( not this one in particular) non sexual dating sites. why do they run when you ask about meeting. I thought that was the hole point of getting to know someone.
|
| December 13, 2011, 14:05 |
|
perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
|
Re: run away
Hey! Pick me, pick me, to answer that. C'mon, c'mon, plz, plz. 
|
| December 13, 2011, 14:26 |
|
perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
|
Re: run away
Ok! Thank you. Found a genie lamp, told I could have one wish. Said, a hiway between Califonia and Hawaii. Genie said, "Impossible, think of something else". I said "Explain women to me." Genie asked, "Do you want that 2 lanes or 4?"
|
| December 13, 2011, 15:38 |
|
perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
|
Re: Re: run away
QUOTE (perveman @ December 13, 2011, 15:38)Ok! Thank you. Found a genie lamp, told I could have one wish. Said, I'd like a hiway between Califonia and Hawaii. Genie said, "Impossible, think of something else". I said "Explain women to me." Genie asked, "Do you want that 2 lanes or 4?"
|
| December 13, 2011, 15:43 |
|
perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
|
Re: run away
Oops! 
|
| December 13, 2011, 15:45 |
|
Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
|
Re: run away
I have no life altering information to offer you, however, there can be many scenarios. But first, I'd like to start off by saying there was a female on site who posed the question, "Why do people just disappear?".... she had actually met a man from the site, they hit it off, both seemed to be on the same page.. then gone!
Some may have misrepresented themselves, and rather than admitting, they back off. Or, I think many people are closed off.
You know if you think about it, many have replaced socialization with the computer. No longer do we meet at park, or a pub for a beer, we log on to the computer. It is a safe place, and we maintain our anonymity.
|
| December 13, 2011, 16:32 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: run away
Men and women are just different, of course. Our brains work differently, and the way women and men view and use the internet are different too.
For many women it's about building a fantasy and a kind of alter ego of themselves. Women are more likely than men to relate to romance novels, romantic comdedy genre of movies and shows.
Keeping it a fantasy is rewarding, makes them happy. Meeting up in person brings about the risk of bursting the bubble of the fantasy.
I'm not speaking for all women, that would be close minded.
In general, there's something to it. Men and women are different, which is great but confusing.
I'm sure you know, wantu...that for some women, there is an inner struggle between their sexual self and their "real world" self. Many are not comfortable being a highly sexual being in their daily everyday life, and look to their imagination and their minds for their sensuality.
Men tend to use the internet to find the end result of a real life hook up . Women tend to use the internet to express their romantic/ sexuality in a safe controlled zone.
As I said, it's not concrete. It's generalized.
|
| December 13, 2011, 17:30 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: run away
And perhaps they also represented themselves as something their really not ie physically or relationship wise
|
| December 13, 2011, 17:35 |
|
newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
|
Re: run away
I think if there is one thread that can be carbon copied this would be the one. We have all said this before.
There are so many answers to the question we can't put them all here. I feel both men and women have and do , do this. It can be misrepresentation or insecurity.Speaking as someone who has met only 3 people in person in all the years I have been on line I can only tell you how I feel about it.In my case I was never trying to meet someone at all it was a social and entertainment thing for me. I had three young children so I didn't go out much when I first started chatting online. Like Chazzy said this might have been a fantasy and meeting you would change all that.Fear of rejection is a big thing as well.You can't push someone to meet you(Not saying you did.). They have to be ready.Many times people are pressuring more than they think or intend because they are a bit to enthusiastic. Sometimes people think they want something then chicken out for lack of a better way of saying it.
When Kam and I started talking about it I really wasn't sure I wanted to meet yet. I kept going back and forth with my feelings. We talked for quit a while. We had to put it all out there as to what the expectations were and that if either of us felt uncomfortable or that it wasn't working no hard feelings or pressure to do anything.He never pressured me. He came here and stayed at a hotel. It was my choice to stay with him or not. This way we each had a place to go if we felt we needed too.Even though he put no pressure on me I have to admit I was nervous. It would have been easy to blow him off out of fear. Something I am very happy I didn't do.I remember kicking myself mentally for putting it off as long as I did.lol
So don't think it is anything you did or didn't do . The reasons can be almost anything. And FYI guys do the same things to women. It is not exclusive for women to just disappear.
|
| December 14, 2011, 05:59 |
|
perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
|
Re: run away
People come and go everywhere. "The only constant in life, is change." A true statement that these sites are fantasy. Me, I'm naked, for real! Anyone noticed? Yuk, yuk, yuk. 
|
| December 14, 2011, 13:47 |
|
wantubad2
54 / male
white creek, New York, US
|
Re: run away
I thank you all for your words and I hope that one day soon I will find the women that wants to meet and wants to spend the time with me. I am sure that many men do this as well it is just frustrating when you are actually looking for a long term mate. Not to say I would not just have a fling cause I am god dam horny and in need of some attention,lol
again thank you all
|
| December 14, 2011, 14:28 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: run away
Medical imaging studies do prove to us, that whatever the stimuli, men's and women's brain react differently.
Although it is safe to say nothing is exsclusive because we have highly developed brains and senses that leads us all to make personal decisions and choices.
Anthropoligist will point at our ancient ancestor's need to survive. Women will tend to be more guarded, it comes from being pregnant and having children to rear that causes them to be a bit more cautious. Sometimes our evolved DNA can't be argued with easily.
I don't think so many misrepresent themselves online as we might assume. I do think that they do tend to expose a part of themselves that they cannot share in their "real world".
Some of you know things about me, that my own hubs doesn't know. Things I share in common with you, or feel comfortable sharing with you that he just has no interest in.
|
| December 15, 2011, 17:19 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: run away
I've discovered that many of the women on here who list 1 on 1 sex , and discreet encounters as what they're looking for really have no intention of going through with it. I guess the thrill of the chase is enough for them. I had a lady on here agree to meet me, and the next day when I logged in to set up a time and place, her profile was gone. Cold feet indeed!
|
| December 15, 2011, 18:47 |
|
Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
|
Re: run away
INDEED!
|
| December 15, 2011, 21:18 |
|
newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
|
Re: run away
You guys really think it about it as if its such a mystery.As it has been said at least a hundred times. It can be many reasons. Cold feet being only one. Misrepresentation being only one. Etc....It could be insecurity or fear of rejection.You shouldn't over think it.Just move on. Yes as I said you guys do it too.I think many times people push for a meeting more than they realize as well. I know I have had many guys push to meet me.Even under the best of conditions and intentions it is a difficult thing as I explained in my earlier post.
I was on the plane with a woman that coming home from Kam's on my last trip who just met a man for the first time that she had met online. She was a nervous wreck on the plane for several reasons. She said the meeting was a first for many reasons . She had never flown before , she was claustrophobic and she never met a guy from online before. Then she did all that and she had to cut the trip from a three day to a one day because apparently the guy turned out to be the worst decision she had made.I explained that it isn't always like that and we spoke about other things regarding traveling and how to relax on a plane as well. She actually thanked me after and said if she didn't hear my story she might not ever try it again but she felt better. I did explain to her that she should always have what I refer to as a safety net.A person or place she can go if things turn out bad as that one had.
It's scary as hell to have that first meeting. No matter how excited you are there is always that fear. We have all read the horror stories.
When we do our profiles we have to choose what they have that is closest to how we feel or think we feel. I never new if I would meet someone so I left my options open. I think many of you take the profile to literal. Sometimes people just want to explore things for the first time so they have that in the profile. I doesn't mean they signed a contract to do it.
My advice is to relax and stop trying so hard to find your perfect mate. Just have fun. If it is meant to happen it will.
|
| December 15, 2011, 23:45 |
|
kamarel
60 / male
Alexandria, Louisiana, US
|
Re: run away
Newbie, pretty much hit it. I wasn't looking for anything. I pretty much was getting some cheap voyuerism kicks for years. We started chatting and things progressed. It just happened. No rhyme or reason to it. Nothing that I can point to and say it works. Keep your fantasies from running away with you and then when something works out...GREAT. Because more often than not, for all the reasons stated above it doesn't.
|
| December 16, 2011, 02:22 |
|
GG317
60 / male
Bowl of Granola, Massachusetts, US
|
Re: run away
I'm reminded of a quote from a local radio jockey. He says a lot, "All men are willing to be considered pigs if all women are willing to be considered insane." (nuff said) 
|
| December 16, 2011, 03:53 |
|
Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
|
Re: run away
I was asked once if I stayed with my husband because I was committed.... I said, "No, but I should have been committed."
|
| December 16, 2011, 14:20 |
|
perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
|
Re: Re: run away
QUOTE (Iwant2kssuallovr @ December 16, 2011, 14:20)
I was asked once if I stayed with my husband because I was committed.... I said, "No, but I should have been committed."
Sorry guy's, GG Kiss summed it up. Except for me of course, (lol). I'm too lazy to be a pig, just want to take a nap. Is'nt getting older a beautiful thing?
|
| December 16, 2011, 14:32 |
|
wandering5tar
53 / male
London, England, UK
|
Re: run away
A woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
|
| December 16, 2011, 17:06 |
|
Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
|
Re: run away
"Some woman are like bread, you have to leave them alone to get a rise."
|
| December 17, 2011, 00:09 |
|
perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
|
Re: run away
So true Kiss. I played it like fishing. Threw the line in. Waited. Slowly drew it in. About to get a bite, I'd jerk it back. Repeat, till I got the bite, and reel it in. It was fun how ladies could'nt understand. "What's that guy all about?" But that was way back in the day. Now, I'm just naked. Did I mention that?
|
| December 17, 2011, 00:43 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: run away
I'm new here but I'll offer my two cents 
I USE to meet people ...couple sexual, others non sexual...In all cases, the relationship eventually fizzled, especially when logging back into certain websites (jealousy)....it was MUCH more exciting online (i'm guessing it was the anticipation) but meeting in person was different...Like someone said in a previous post, the online personality didnt gel with the offline personality...
Originally i thought it was a PERFECT way to meet someone...the person would already know what you like sexually and get to see a different side of you right away. Plus "online" they were real good friends... In MY case, it wasn't a good idea....the men I met turned out to be either VERY controlling ,shy, or insecure....
So now, my goal is not to meet anyone from online sites, Im sure it works for other people, but so far, no luck for me...
Oh yeah, the person may not want to meet because they're not who they say they are....lol
|
| December 17, 2011, 01:28 |
|
|
