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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
As I read the forums and chat in the chat rooms I sometimes find it interesting how much I have learned about people I never met. (And in most cases I never will.)For those of us over thirty this might seem a bit different than those younger. I remember when computers just started becoming something that a person would have at home. Even those that had them didn't exactly use them the way we do now. They certainly weren't as user friendly. If you didn't have a degree in computers or at least one of those cards to lay over your key board you didn't use a computer at all.
As chat became more popular and user friendly people started forming opinions on "meeting someone on-line". It still has a bit of a stigma to it. Even if we hate to admit it.
Some people feel that if you only chat with someone on line you really don't know them and its very impersonal and in many cases the person is full of crap and its all fantasy.
I would bet that most if not all of us can tell stories on the good and bad of computer based relationships.At least if you have been on-line for more than five minutes that is.
Even those of us that have had success for lack of a better word with computer relationships tend to tell people GET OFF THE COMPUTER! GO FIND SOMEONE IN REAL LIFE!.As if this isn't real life. The interesting thing is in some ways this is much more in-depth than when people meet in a bar or other social setting "IN REAL LIFE".At least here you really get to find out about each other and talk about all kinds of things before jumping into anything. In many cases people meet at a club maybe date a few times and wind up in bed together.
People act like when we chat on here it isn't with a real person. Yes, the person can totally be full of crap, but so can the person you meet in a club or other social setting. The only real difference is in "Real life" they can't lie about what they look like. Actually, because of the anonymity some people are more open on-line. Although I have found that there is a problem because somethings can be confused because online you can't tell someones tone and many times that can lead to things being taken the wrong way as well.(Using things like smiley faces and other little signs helps with this issue.)
I have been extremely lucky and found in two out of three people I have met in person from on line were great people, one in particular that I obviously plan on keeping around.I also think I know many of the people I chat with or even just read the things they write , pretty well.
So what do you think? Do you think you really get to know people from these sites?
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| July 10, 2011, 09:06 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I think you get to know as much as the other person you're talking to, wants you to know. And just as in person to person meetings, if you like what youve heard so far, you tend to want to spend more time with that person or those people. If you sense a "crap factor", you move on.
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| July 10, 2011, 12:15 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Terms have always been used to differentiate between our computer life and "real life"
Saying or using the term "real life" doesn't mean our "internet life" isn't real.
Some find it easier to open up to others online, but are shy or socially awkward in "real life"
Some personalities don't change at all when they enter "internet life".
Some, there is a personality part of them that is only seen online, they are online to play out their deeper self or a fantasy self.
I think the Internet is fantastic, I love it. For those who live in an more isolated area, it's a strong social connection and very healthy. Some can get too caught up in their Internet time, and some think that the Internet is a high tech simple way to get laid . They think a site like this is like Amazon, you can go through the listed items, and make a selection and get what you want.
"If you don't want to fuck me , why are you even here?"
Ah yeah, what woman hasn't heard something similar, or have gotten a comment from a guy with that kind of attitude. Not only in "Internet life" but also in "real life"
Very rarely, very rarely...do we get the Prom Queen or Queen Bee type, thank gawd for that. This would be a woman who falls into a pit of popularity priority. Being the most popular or the most loved becomes an obsession. Usually, they will even start to mirror a woman that is very loved, very popular they will start using her way of talking, they start mimicking her, I've seen the Prom queen type go as far as to change their photos and profile to be a near perfect copy of the woman they mimic. This can lead to negative and strong feelings, they become frustrated and hate her because they can't be her.
It's rare, and it's always a woman, men might compete with other men over women, but in any social setting, women compete with women for a whole other set of reasons. Kssu,Juils, bubblegum, newbs and some other women I'm so sure will totally understand and I'm sure they've encountered many of the Queen Bee/Prom Queen types I've mentioned online and offline.
I've seen some who log in and stay up all night just on this one site, jumping in at the slightest sign of any activity. I've know one who when she finally had to sleep, left her computer on with the browser open to this site and if she stirred at all during the night she would jump up and run to the computer to see if anything new had happened while she nodded off. Sometimes, the internet is just not a healthy part of us.
It's just the healthy thing for someone to disconnect and walk away from their computer for awhile, to not focus so much on who's checked our profile out, how many replies did we get to a topic, how many messages are in our inbox. It should be an enhancement to our lives but not something we are in a constant orbit around, but when you see an entire generation who don't hang out with friends, who don't call friends, they just spend every waking moment texting and updating their status, I see a generation that has no use or interest in even making eye contact in "real life". I can't change that, it's the way we are progressing it seems.
I've gotten to know so many people over a lifetime, know them as well as they have gotten to know me, have made dear friends, in "real life" and "internet life"
Just as some like to have a complete seperation between home life and work life, family life and party/social life, there will be some who want to have some seperation between real life and internet life.
Whatever suits you.
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| July 10, 2011, 12:45 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Side note to Free....when you use your photo with your guitar as a main photo, I definitely notice is a small increase of new male members who will upload a similar one of themselves with their guitar. They don't try to act like you, or mimic you in any other way, they just see your profile and think the photo is a good idea.
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| July 10, 2011, 14:09 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Thats pretty cool, I didnt know that. However, you know as well as I do that no one could imitate me. I'm one of a kind. And unfortunately, I believe my own press!   
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| July 10, 2011, 14:26 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I only focus on the really bad rumors about you.
If there aren't any circulating at the moment, I make some up 
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| July 10, 2011, 14:43 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I heard Free photoshops out his third nipple on his naked pics .
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| July 10, 2011, 14:46 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
You have no idea how many times you make me burst out laughing!
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| July 10, 2011, 14:53 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Yeah? You're not denying it, Tri-Nip?
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| July 10, 2011, 17:39 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Well, Im only denying it because its not "tri" its actually "quadro"
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| July 10, 2011, 18:14 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I think the reason Free gets such a strong response to his guitar picture is because it suits him and it is a great representation of part of his personality so its a positive thing. Grandelf does similar things. It would definitely not get the same response if I did a picture with a guitar because it's just not part of me in the same way.
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| July 10, 2011, 21:00 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I think I have met some very real people on here. At times I have to leave for a while and can only pop in from time to time and yet when I come back my friends are still here and still chat as if I had never been gone.
I agree with Free too, you are only as real as you want to be though. With some people on here, I am totally open and honest about all aspects of my life and with others it is just fun chat. Just like real life for me I guess
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| July 10, 2011, 21:07 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I like the quote about how many people we really are that Wandering has posted before, hit me with that again right here if it's not too much trouble?
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| July 10, 2011, 21:40 |
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 10, 2011, 21:40)I like the quote about how many people we really are that Wandering has posted before, hit me with that again right here if it's not too much trouble?
wandering5tar's quote: (printed just as requested by Chazzy)
"When two humans meet there are six personalities present; each person as they perceive themselves, each person as they are perceived by each other, and each person as they really are."
-- personal note from darkshadow459: our dear English friend has said it best with this quote. And while I have been very much absent from the site and it's chats and discussions lately; those I've met here are people I've had the opportunities in meeting where in my non Internet life I may never have had such privilege. For this I am thankful.
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| July 11, 2011, 21:09 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Hey Dark,I for one miss you. I hope all is well with you and yours.I do understand that sometimes people just need to break away from here or online in general for a while.I know I do it on occasion.Some people wish I would do it more often.
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| July 11, 2011, 22:39 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ July 11, 2011, 22:39)Hey Dark,I for one miss you. I hope all is well with you and yours.I do understand that sometimes people just need to break away from here or online in general for a while.I know I do it on occasion.Some people wish I would do it more often.
I find that very hard to believe!
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| July 11, 2011, 23:14 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Thank you for re-posting the quote, I don't have it memorized, but I think of it often.
Every one is missed when we don't see them hanging out here. We do understand that not everyone can be here everyday, we miss ya'all when you're not here, worry a bit too much if no one has heard from you, and always happy to see you when you do log in.
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| July 12, 2011, 00:38 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (freensleazy @ July 11, 2011, 23:14) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ July 11, 2011, 22:39)Hey Dark,I for one miss you. I hope all is well with you and yours.I do understand that sometimes people just need to break away from here or online in general for a while.I know I do it on occasion.Some people wish I would do it more often.
I find that very hard to believe!
What part?the part about me missing Dark? Or wanting to take a brake? or others wanting me to take more brakes? lol
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| July 12, 2011, 02:29 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
i have gotten to know some former members of this site quite well AmberZed and i know each other VERY well, and over past couple of years, i've gotten to understand what TicaD is all about.
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| July 12, 2011, 03:25 |
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JenTX
47 / female
East, Texas, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Ive heard a saying. You really dont know someone until you have lived with them a year. Online relationships are just as real as any other relationships out there. I take imitation as flattery. Trust me no one wants to be me. LOL
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| July 12, 2011, 04:31 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Jen, I don't know about wanting to be you, but I'd want to hang out with you. lol
Being me would scare people.I can't say I have had many try to be me. I had two people in my life that really tried to take over my life, that's the only way I can describe it. Both tried to take my husband.(I should have gladly given him to them. That would have taught them a lesson and saved me a lot of grief.) They both tried to be part of every aspect of my life other than my job, mainly because they couldn't be involved in that.
It really got weird. One was a baby sitter and I fired her once I realized how serious it was.She really was a lost and sad person with no self esteem and though I had some kind of exciting life. (She seriously needed to get a life.lol) The other is just way to complicated to explain. Lets just say there is no contact between us anymore but she did live in my house for a long time because I felt sorry for her until I realized she needed serious psychological intervention. NO I'M NOT KIDDING. There were a lot of lawyers and doctors and restraining orders involved.Something I would rather not have to deal with again. On occasion I still have a run in with her and her kid because she had a kid with my ex-husband. The were court ordered to stay far away from me and my kids. (At least until they are adults.)It's a very strange and long story I can get into a different time.and way back to the topic. lol
I think there are many people I have met on line I consider friends and I believe they consider me a friend. We have had some very personal and serious discussions . You can all get your mind out of the gutter, they weren't sexual.
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| July 12, 2011, 07:54 |
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Yep Newbs, I knew some of you women would have a story to tell about the obsessive woman. A woman that has come into your life and made you think at least once if not more "Gawd, if this every ends, I'm so selling the script to the LifeTime Movie Channel"
Yes, sane fun people have internet, so do crazy unstable people.
New people here, well...the link they click to get here is just a basic " Get laid tonight" kind of thing you see for all adult personal sites. They may have been on other adult sites and think this is just another one of them.
Maybe the first impression they give is not the best, maybe the photos look a bit suspicious, or they come on very strong. I like to give them a little settling in time, time to get to know us and the site, and the majority of the time once they get a feel for the place, will change their own profile or delete the original one and create a newer one more representative of who they really are.
Speaking in general about all of us. someone we hate or don't like, may well be someone else's new best friend or soul mate.
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| July 12, 2011, 12:09 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (Chazzy @ July 12, 2011, 12:09)Yep Newbs, I knew some of you women would have a story to tell about the obsessive woman. A woman that has come into your life and made you think at least once if not more "Gawd, if this every ends, I'm so selling the script to the LifeTime Movie Channel"
Yes, sane fun people have internet, so do crazy unstable people.
New people here, well...the link they click to get here is just a basic " Get laid tonight" kind of thing you see for all adult personal sites. They may have been on other adult sites and think this is just another one of them.
Maybe the first impression they give is not the best, maybe the photos look a bit suspicious, or they come on very strong. I like to give them a little settling in time, time to get to know us and the site, and the majority of the time once they get a feel for the place, will change their own profile or delete the original one and create a newer one more representative of who they really are.
Speaking in general about all There are sane people here? I hate when that happen's. You mean I'm not getting laid in the next 5 minutes? What the hell is this? Change MY profile? That would be a big NO! If I can't be honest from the start, can't be bothered with it. Are we having fun yet? All have a great day now!
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| July 12, 2011, 12:23 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I never changed my profile. I added to it. I would think that would be the more common thing. But to be honest I don't read many profiles so don't know if many people change their profiles or not.
When I first started on the Internet I read more but I found that reading a profile doesn't really tell me much or even anything about a person. Most profiles seem generic to me at best.MOST not all.Besides as I have said although people should see the profile as a commercial about themselves, I don't think many even see the true person they are just what they want to think they are.You really get to know someone much more when the start posting and go into chat.
A great example is Kam. He has almost nothing on his profile. I found him fascinating when he started emailing and chatting with me. I loved his posts. I thought the were insightful and funny in a sarcastic smart ass way.(I happen to love that). When I read his stories I really loved the way he wrote. I started to see more and more about the way his mind worked and that's what I fell in love with . Keeping in mind that was all before either of us even knew what each other looked like.
I believe most of the people that have formed relationships on here will tell you it really is based on the things I talked about much more than the pictures or profiles.Kam and I have been together a year this past June and still going strong so you can absolutely get to know people and form great relationships. Even when your not looking.
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| July 12, 2011, 15:41 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ July 12, 2011, 02:29) QUOTE (freensleazy @ July 11, 2011, 23:14) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ July 11, 2011, 22:39)Hey Dark,I for one miss you. I hope all is well with you and yours.I do understand that sometimes people just need to break away from here or online in general for a while.I know I do it on occasion.Some people wish I would do it more often.
I find that very hard to believe!
What part?the part about me missing Dark? Or wanting to take a brake? or others wanting me to take more brakes? lol
I was referring to others wanting you to take a break.
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| July 12, 2011, 19:40 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
As if you really believe that. lol I bet you can name at least 3 people that would pay for me to take a long break.lol
I was thinking about some of the types of people we see and meet on the web sites like this. There are a specific "type" that really make me sad and mad at the same time.I have always come across those that are really nice but happen to be really lonely. Sometimes it's their own doing sometimes it's not.
But they also become victims over and over. I sometimes want to shake some damn sense into them.We have all seen them. They are the person that can be male or female and basically a bit shy and trying to come out of their shell on a site like this. Maybe went through a bad breakup and wants to be in a relationship.They meet the guy or women that seems perfect for them and within days they are in love.Sometimes they get ripped of monetarily.Sometimes they just get fucked with because the other person finds it amusing.Sometimes it's even worse.I know its not my place to tell them and I know they wouldn't believe me anyway but I get so mad when I see it and I feel bad for them as well. I really hate it when I see the same person repeat the pattern.No matter what site I have been on I have come across a few of these people.
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| July 13, 2011, 06:03 |
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GG317
60 / male
Bowl of Granola, Massachusetts, US
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (freensleazy @ July 10, 2011, 12:15)I think you get to know as much as the other person you're talking to, wants you to know. And just as in person to person meetings, if you like what youve heard so far, you tend to want to spend more time with that person or those people. If you sense a "crap factor", you move on.
Wait a minute...I thought it wasn't possible to smell through the speakers!...
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| July 14, 2011, 01:00 |
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GG317
60 / male
Bowl of Granola, Massachusetts, US
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (lonelyandhorny @ July 12, 2011, 03:25)i have gotten to know some former members of this site quite well AmberZed and i know each other VERY well, and over past couple of years, i've gotten to understand what TicaD is all about.
I still talk to Tica every now and then, only I know her by her real name (which she'd kill me if I told, so I'm going to plead the fifth). She's been trying to get me to send gifts to her in Farmville...Arrrghhh, I hate Farmville. My farm is a desert with tumbleweeds everywhere, which tells you how many times I played...   
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| July 14, 2011, 01:17 |
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Grandelf
64 / male
Northern, Michigan, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I have made what I consider very good friends here and if it could happen,would love to meet them. I have been asked my opinion on certain things of all kinds...often from a mans perspective, and have asked woman what they think to get the females side...I want to mention the guitar in photos, only to say that Free is totally cool with how it's done, I had mine in a couple of photos that were yanked...to much, something. Oh well...I HAVE to laugh though at the ones that use the guitar in their profile title in such a way that they think it will somehow magically get them somewhere...I crack up every time."30 year old guitarist"...or something like that. Oh what a chick magnet THAT is. The guitar is an extension of who and what I am....it's been a friend since age 12. A friend when no one was there and I needed company. It, or they are always there...to express my mood, both happy and sad...a way of venting I guess. But it's never been like "Hey Babe, I...Yes I, play guitar!"..."What more do ya need hon?"......Oh ho ho ho ho ho ha ha ha ha hee hee hee hee...
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| July 21, 2011, 06:31 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Year's ago in my rock band day!s, I found that the guitar was "a babe magnet", whether in practice, or on stage. Evidently no get's too excited with people pics, with their instruments (no pun intended). Walking your puppy, in parks or wherever, the ladies love to pet the cut little thing (the puppy). At my age, I just sit on the park bench, drool Geritol out my mouth and reminise (sp?). NOT, agood "babe magnate" I have found. (Unless you're a nurse). There you have it, post pics canine stye.
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| July 21, 2011, 12:37 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (perveman @ July 21, 2011, 12:37)Year's ago, in my rock band day's, I found that the guitar was "a babe magnet", whether in practice, or on stage. Evidently no ladies get too excited of people pics, with their instruments (no pun intended). Walking your puppy, in parks or wherever, the ladies love to pet the cut little thing (the puppy). At my age, I just sit on the park bench, drooling Geritol out my mouth and reminise (sp?). NOT, a good "babe magnate" I have found. (Unless you're a nurse). There you have it, post pics canine stye.
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| July 21, 2011, 12:43 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
No offense to all you card carrying guitar, BABE magnets.... I always went for the drummer!
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| July 21, 2011, 15:33 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Very well said, Grandelf. I totally agree
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| July 21, 2011, 16:08 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
Grandelf the guitar is a big part of your personality as is with Free as well. With drummers they almost always have drum sticks in their back pockets. (My 2 oldest kids played drums and I got sick of having them putting wholes in the pockets LOL)I also dated a drummer for a few years. I dated more musicians than I care to think about.
It always comes down to the same thing. I don't get impressed just because a person puts a picture up with a guitar or anything else. Mostly because I really am not big on pictures until I know you a few months. The real thing is if the picture is something that reflects you.I love Frees profile pic that he is currently using because it is a big part of who he is. I almost wish I could ask all the guys to stop posting the standard hard cock pictures. Sorry but they don't do it for me on a profile picture. I really much rather see something that reflects your personality.
Grandelf your pictures do that in a different way. Although your pictures might be simple , they are artistic and creative. I don't know if you shoot your own stuff from a tripod or you have someone shoot your pictures for you but they always seem like a picture I could frame and hang on a wall to me.The one Free is using at the moment is the same way.There are a few women that are also extremely good at this as well. I think those types of pictures are far more sexy than the standard cock shot or the pictures that I have.
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| July 22, 2011, 05:53 |
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wandering5tar
53 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I think it's amazing that he can play the guitar with no arms! Must be like Hendrix and be fantastic with his lips, tongue and teeth.
Any of you ladies care to check it out and confirm?
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| July 22, 2011, 06:58 |
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perveman
111 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (Iwant2kssuallovr @ July 21, 2011, 15:33)
No offense to all you card carrying guitar, BABE magnets.... I always went for the drummer!
Dammit!
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| July 22, 2011, 10:59 |
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GG317
60 / male
Bowl of Granola, Massachusetts, US
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (Iwant2kssuallovr @ July 21, 2011, 15:33)
No offense to all you card carrying guitar, BABE magnets.... I always went for the drummer!
berr rummm bump... 
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| July 22, 2011, 22:09 |
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Grandelf
64 / male
Northern, Michigan, US
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ July 22, 2011, 05:53)Grandelf the guitar is a big part of your personality as is with Free as well. With drummers they almost always have drum sticks in their back pockets. (My 2 oldest kids played drums and I got sick of having them putting wholes in the pockets LOL)I also dated a drummer for a few years. I dated more musicians than I care to think about.
It always comes down to the same thing. I don't get impressed just because a person puts a picture up with a guitar or anything else. Mostly because I really am not big on pictures until I know you a few months. The real thing is if the picture is something that reflects you.I love Frees profile pic that he is currently using because it is a big part of who he is. I almost wish I could ask all the guys to stop posting the standard hard cock pictures. Sorry but they don't do it for me on a profile picture. I really much rather see something that reflects your personality.
Grandelf your pictures do that in a different way. Although your pictures might be simple , they are artistic and creative. I don't know if you shoot your own stuff from a tripod or you have someone shoot your pictures for you but they always seem like a picture I could frame and hang on a wall to me.The one Free is using at the moment is the same way.There are a few women that are also extremely good at this as well. I think those types of pictures are far more sexy than the standard cock shot or the pictures that I have.
Well thanks a bunch! I take all my own with a tripod and remote....and try to be a bit creative though as you know I have raw photos too..guess it depends on the mood. I do like to try something with imagination as often as I can, so I really appreciate your kindness....as far as musicians go...ask any guitarist or drummer, to guitarists drummers are a totally different animal, not in a BAD way, but different. And drummers say the same about guitarists...it's always been a humor filled topic of discussion through the years....
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| July 24, 2011, 06:26 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
I just like it shows its a part of you. There are many who try to put up that they are a musician thinking it will get the attention they want. If it isn't really a part of them it shows pretty quick in most cases.Any artist that is truly an artist of any kind knows it comes from a place deep inside.It's not something you can fake.
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| July 28, 2011, 16:46 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Do you really think you get to know people from these types of sites?
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ July 13, 2011, 06:03)
There are a specific "type" that really make me sad and mad at the same time... I sometimes want to shake some damn sense into them....They meet the guy or women that seems perfect for them and within days they are in love.
That does happen, some people fall in love very quickly. Sometimes it works out great and at times even morphs into a close bond or friendship . Sometimes it's a mistake. All I can do is initiate contact with both of them, be there for both of them, whether it works out or not.
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| July 31, 2011, 12:15 |
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