 |
|
|
|
| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
|
bigtweettart4u
57 / female
Kansaas, Illinois, US
|
New Arrival System
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine
whether admission will be granted.
One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did
on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I
came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just
gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it
was completely dry too. "I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to
look for her lover. "I went onto the balcony of our 9th-floor apartment and
found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I
began bashing his fingers with a flower pot.
"He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes.
"On seeing he was still alive I found super-human strength to drag our antique cedar
chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him.
"At this point, the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and
died."
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office. The second applicant
said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building
working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the
building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th-floor apartment, but
some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot.
"I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up, I saw a
huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit
and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and
says, "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just
before you."
"I don't know," replies the man, "picture this -- I'm buck naked hiding in this
cedar chest..."
|
| June 24, 2011, 22:43 |
|
|
Web Naughty Forums »
Naughty Jokes »
New Arrival System
|
|
|
