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wandering5tar
54 / male
London, England, UK
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The Seven Stages Of Sex
The 1st stage of sex is called... SMURF SEX.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet your partner, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd stage of sex is called... KITCHEN SEX.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are still so needy you will have sex anywhere, even on the kitchen table.
The 3rd stage of sex is called... BEDROOM SEX.
This is when you have been with your partner for quite a while. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th stage of sex is called... SOCIAL SECURITY SEX.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. You still get a little each month... But not enough to enjoy yourself.
The 5th stage of sex is called...RELIGIOUS SEX.
This is the next stage. Which means you get Nun in the Morning, Nun in the Afternoon and Nun at Night. (Very Popular and Very Common)
The 6th stage of sex is called...HALLWAY SEX.
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say .... 'FUCK YOU!'
And. Last... But not least ...
The 7th stage is called...COURTROOM SEX.
This is when you cannot stand your partner any more. Your partner takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
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| March 29, 2011, 14:30 |
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Dutsji
64 / male
Ergens, Netherlands
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
 
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| March 29, 2011, 17:55 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Oh my LORD...*on knees and praying hard* Let me stay in the first 2 !!!!!!!!
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| April 1, 2011, 13:58 |
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wandering5tar
54 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
QUOTE (Alaina @ April 1, 2011, 13:58)Oh my LORD...*on knees and praying hard* Let me stay in the first 2 !!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure that "on knees" must still be in Stage 2 !!
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| April 1, 2011, 14:24 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Hmm 4th is quite common so I hear....
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| April 1, 2011, 14:30 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
I think you are right Josie, least my married friends attest to it.
Wandering.. I love your humor! you tickle me!
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| April 1, 2011, 14:51 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Alaina - always ask on here what they want to tickle you with...the answers are the best bit
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| April 1, 2011, 15:11 |
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wandering5tar
54 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
QUOTE (Josie34 @ April 1, 2011, 15:11)Alaina - always ask on here what they want to tickle you with...the answers are the best bit
With my Tickling Stick of course!
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| April 1, 2011, 15:21 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Just make sure you pay the tax man......
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| April 1, 2011, 16:51 |
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wandering5tar
54 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
QUOTE (Josie34 @ April 1, 2011, 16:51)Just make sure you pay the tax man......
Are you suggesting that mine's a Diddy Man?
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| April 1, 2011, 16:53 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
That's what you keep telling me....
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| April 1, 2011, 17:01 |
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wandering5tar
54 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Ironic isn't it that I'm the only male on the planet who doesn't get bombarded with emails about penis enlargement...
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| April 1, 2011, 17:03 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Maybe they know the truth...are you actually housebound because your penis is longer than your legs and you walk like a triffid?
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| April 1, 2011, 17:05 |
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wandering5tar
54 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
QUOTE (Josie34 @ April 1, 2011, 17:05)Maybe they know the truth...are you actually housebound because your penis is longer than your legs and you walk like a triffid?
It's OK, I just tuck it into my sock. That also explains why I always wear flared trousers.
P.S. I think you're getting your SciFi mixed up - surely you mean Tripods and not Triffids?
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| April 1, 2011, 17:11 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Have you not seen how hung a triffid is???
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| April 1, 2011, 17:20 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Triffids-Tripods....big swaying things that can be dangerous when pointed in the wrong direction.....
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| April 1, 2011, 17:26 |
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wandering5tar
54 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
Hmmm, just been re-reading Day Of The Triffids and maybe you have a point Jo. The Triffids have an appendage that can squirt a liquid into your face.
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| April 2, 2011, 09:49 |
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screwwme
40 / female
gaborone, Botswana
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
i wana get fucked 1st stage only4 the rest of ma life,c'mon new guys, hit me.
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| May 12, 2011, 08:14 |
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screwwme
40 / female
gaborone, Botswana
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Re: The Seven Stages Of Sex
1st stage style only guys
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| May 12, 2011, 08:15 |
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