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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Do my eyes deceive me or you?
This started in another forum as an answer to a joke but it brought some interesting points up, so decided to bring it here on a more serious note.
The funny thing is ,in some ways we are our own worst critics. In most ways we don't see our selves as other do. Do we ever see the true real us?
I was very skinny until I got pregnant. That seemed to be the only time I put on weight. Unfortunately, I never lost the weight. OK, I lost some but certainly not to where I was.
I wonder what other people see when they look in the mirror sometimes. Some very thin people see themselves as fat and some very heavy people see themselves as skinny.There are so many people with eating disorders that tell you about that.
I for some reason see pictures of myself and think "Do I really look like that?" Many times it just doesn't match what I see in the mirror. Some good, some bad.
I really never cared what weight someone was. I have been with thin and heavy and somewhere in between. My only concern is when someones health gets to be a concern. A thin guy I dated had the worst health. He almost died from stuff I never even heard of before.As for myself. I do wish I was a bit thinner because I felt better and I think I looked better. I don't want to be as thin as I was. I look at some of those old pictures and think I was to thin.YES you can be to thin and to rich.
We have all seen people who walk around in outfits that make us think "Do they own a mirror? Maybe they just didn't happen to look in it today." Not necessarily because you don't agree with a persons taste but sometimes because its so outrageously bad that you think they can't really think that fits? Even if just for comfort level alone.
I'm all for letting someone dress as they like but I do think at times there should be a limit.I love my thigh high suede boots and my daughter although she loves them does say they are hooker boots.lol I wouldn't wear them with a short skirt to parent teacher conferences for instance. But I would wear them to go to Kam's house .lol
What do you see in the mirror? Do you think it's what others see? Do you think your harder on your self than others are? Do you still see the built football player from high school when you look in the mirror?Or for the women do you still see the cheerleader? Do you judge others for putting on a few even though you have done it yourself?(You know some of you go to your reunions and gab about how much weight that person put on yet you have put on some yourself ,maybe lost some hair, gotten a bit gray)Be honest...Not saying you should say your height weight etc.. I mean for you to say do you think you see yourself a certain way.
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| March 20, 2011, 07:45 |
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Dutsji
64 / male
Ergens, Netherlands
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
I see myself as a 50 year old guy. hair fell out, i cut it real short so it looks good. I started purring on some pounds since i stopped smoking 10 years ago. Because of my height ( 6ft 6 in ) lots say: you re not too heavy but they dont see the belly in the mirror.
I don't believe in: age is just a number. Certain age things you can't avoid. If you can accept it will make you feel much better
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| March 20, 2011, 10:33 |
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kamarel
60 / male
Alexandria, Louisiana, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
I've been heavy as long as I can remember being weight conscience. Until recently I;ve carried nearly all of it in my legs and hips. Low center mass can be useful, when moving and lifting. Doc has been on me about 2 years to start to take it off. I started working out about 4ths ago regularly and finding it much harder to shed the pounds than it used to be.
Otherwise I tend to like how I look. Great smile and easy laugh. Pretty and expressive blue eyes. My hair line has been receding since I was in my early 20's so I;ve learned not to care.
Newbie, I love your come fuck me boots.
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| March 20, 2011, 14:01 |
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kamarel
60 / male
Alexandria, Louisiana, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
BTW, I reaqd the other thread. I love to watch hour glass figures walk. Coming or going. Both are good.
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| March 20, 2011, 14:03 |
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wandering5tar
53 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
I must be anorexic, because they say an anorexic is someone who looks in the mirror and sees a fat person
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| March 20, 2011, 16:33 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
Okay, I feel ridiculous, but Kam I've always had the same issues. My rear and my legs are not those of a runway model. Posting this now reminded me of all the times I had to repair a zipper on a pair of jeans, because I busted it trying to get them over my ass. I'm not straight up and down, when my waist was a 24", my hips were 35".
And the people who told me about my weight, well they were my two very best friends. Telling me I needed to lose 10 or 20 lbs. Number one, they were shorter than me, so then I am larger. They were wore 27' jeans, whatever. And, I never ate as much as they did either.
I began working out at age 13, three and four times a day. That helped and was good for me. However, even at 16 when I graduated, I gained 20 lbs that one weekend. In my 20's I started working out 2 hours a day. Just at home, doing regular calisthenics (does anyone even remember that word) and LOTS of them. I did 250 situps a day, hundreds of leg lifts. In about six months, I lost 10 lbs. The crazy thing was I only lost 10lbs, but I lost 5 sizes. I went from a 10 to a 5. And, as my girlfriend said, nothing giggled.
Guess what, I still thought I was big. Not fat, but I still thought I needed to lose about 20 lbs. It was all about the number on the scale. My mom and my girlfriend, (a nice girlfriend) thought I was too small, and one guy I dated, a Cuban no less..... thought I needed to lose MORE weight. From where? Even my cousin said that, where are ya gonna lose 20lbs?
Now I look back, those clothes I wore then.. they were too small for my skinny bitch girlfriends. But I worked for it.... they never had too.
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| March 20, 2011, 16:44 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
We've seen your body, Kss....the bikini photo especially comes to mind....I can see your body being a source of jealousy, but never criticism!
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| March 20, 2011, 16:47 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
for me, its my legs, I was burned really bad in a explosion & lost all my skin from the waist up & wound up in a burn center. Although i don't have any scars from the burn itself,( my worst fear) i do have a large scar on each leg from the skin grafts. Especially in the summer when i tan, cuz the scars don't tan
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| March 20, 2011, 17:00 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
Scars do not bother me at all....scars are like the tattoos life gives you, each one has a story.
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| March 20, 2011, 17:44 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
Ur just too sweet chazzy, u always have a way of making the worst look not so bad 
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| March 20, 2011, 17:56 |
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kamarel
60 / male
Alexandria, Louisiana, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
Kiss your friends were stupid. I always thought the pinup girls from the 40's were hot. None were hard bodies, but they all had waists, hips and legs. The fem form from ankle to hip to waist will ALWAYS grab my attn.
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| March 20, 2011, 18:12 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
I was a beanpole until I was 10. Then I just starting gaining weight even though my diet and activity level never changed. A few years later I started having some odd health problems so my mom took me to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital where they figured out I have Hashimoto's Disease (my local doctor thought I had a brain tumor). Hashimoto's is a type of thyroid disease where your levels can be high for a while then go low for a while. Since my thyroid levels are always changing my weight changes along with it. Sometimes I will lose a bunch of weight really quick and other times I will gain weight for no apparent reason.
Because of my constantly fluctuating weight I was very self conscious and I went through a long period of anorexia and bulemia. I was getting made fun of every day at school and it hurt so bad. I didn't know what to do so I started cutting myself in addition to the anorexia and bulemia. I lost a lot of weight and a lot of blood so I was pale and skinny. Finally I looked great! Or so I thought. My friends and family started telling me how aweful and sick I looked. I thought they were wrong but now I can see I looked bad! I went through years of that. My family didn't even know what was going on. I had been cutting for seven years before they found out.
I haven't cut myself in four years and three months and I don't starve myself or binge and purge. I am me and if someone doesn't like that its okay because I like me. I am overweight and yes, I would like to lose a lot but its okay if I don't. I'm sure I don't see what others see when I look in the mirror. I am always going to see an overweight person with lots of scars. But those scars made me who I am. And because of those scars I know that I need to treat others with compassion and respect because you never know what someone is going through or what kind of pain they're hiding.
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| March 20, 2011, 19:48 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2009. I am 5'7" and I weighed 320lbs at that time. Since then, I have lost 98lbs and I walk 3 miles a day. I am still chubby, but I am feeling so much better. One of the problems I have now is the flab. Since I lost weight, there is still those parts that remind you that I was once very big. I don't care how others see me and my girlfriend doesn't see my flab, she see's the real person that I am. Yes, she's 25 and overweight as well, but all I see is how Beautiful she is!! She is deaf and she has been teaching me sign language. So, I am not concerned about how others see me. I figure that once someone gets to know me, I am really a great guy. 
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| March 20, 2011, 20:37 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
I look at these posts and think how messed up we are as a society. I was very thin as I said, but I always felt as if I could loose a few pounds.Although, I will say I was never told that.I do know that seeing the issue from different perspectives now is interesting though. As if most people chose to be to thin or to be heavy. The "she is fat because she eats too much" line of thinking is just ignorant.I ate so much more when I was thin. My mother eats so little she should be about 80 pounds. My oldest son eats so much he should be 350 pound. It really has more to do with genetics and metabolism.
I am amazed at how many people think it is perfectly acceptably to say things incredibly rude to someone who is overweight. I have been out with two different women that I am friendly with that happen to be very large.I have heard on several occasions people either walking and even driving by say things like "Lose weight you fat slob" or "You are so fat you should stop eating, I'm tired of paying so much in my insurance because of you." I was stunned the first couple of times I heard these statements. I was told they get that kind of thing a lot. The guys that called out the fat slob comment were in a car and drove around the block to come back and say that. We didn't know them or have any other contact with them.By the way one of these women have a health issues that caused her to put on the weight and she eats very little.
As for body image. Women stress that we want to be stick thin but studies show most men would rather you be a 14-16 and curvy. That actually has more to do with how their brains are wired. They say that evolution basically planted in the male DNA to look for the women that would best suit them for reproducing. Having wider hips and bigger breasts unconsciously say "this women can have children". (I didn't make this up so don't blame me if it sounds goofy.lol)
What we consider "beautiful" today can and probably will change as time goes on. Different cultures and times have a lot to do with what is considered attractive. Haven't we all seen those National Geographic shows where they have the culture with the neck rings or lip plates? In much of the artwork in museums don't you see large voluptuous women ?
I believe most women think men don't have as many body images issues as us but I definitely feel that's not true. No I don't mean the issue that most men have about how big their cocks are.lol
Kam:You are hot! I have "come fuck me " shoes too. 
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| March 20, 2011, 22:21 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
QUOTE (NRG4U @ March 20, 2011, 17:56)Ur just too sweet chazzy, u always have a way of making the worst look not so bad
I have a few on my forearms, never tans...I got them when I moved to the farm, the raised one is when I got a deep cut while fixing up the chicken coop, shoulda had stitches but no insurance, did it the farmer way, disinfect and use electrical tape to butterfly it, another is a rather large burn scar, that's when I was learning to cook with cast iron on a wood burning cook stove...the list goes on, each one is a story and a memory. They're kinda like the mile markers of my past.
I just can't see feeling any shame, or being selfconscious about our scars.
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| March 21, 2011, 19:21 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
well it's just that mine are really big, they took all the skin off my thighs to make the skin grafts
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| March 21, 2011, 20:39 |
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kamarel
60 / male
Alexandria, Louisiana, US
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Re: Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ March 20, 2011, 22:21)
Kam:You are hot! I have "come fuck me " shoes too.
Bring 'em over. 
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| March 21, 2011, 21:36 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
There is a man that is very popular in our town. He is very involved with his kids sports teams , scouts etc. He was in a very bad fire way before I ever met him and that was about 20+ years ago. It is interesting because I do remember when we first met and my boys were very young signing up for Pop Warner football.
He was checking the kids paperwork, weight class, and assigning equipment. I was a bit shocking when I first saw him because he has almost no ears, his face is basically one big scar and his arms are about the same.He also has no hair , eyebrows, or eyelashes.
He never hid it and always talked to the kids when they asked what happened to him. The sad thing was the way some adults acted. Kids are really much better about these things because they speak from the heart. I know after the initial shock you really forget about the scars. He is in all the team pictures (He is also a coach)and many times the local paper.
It's never even a topic of discussion unless there is a new family that is joining or a discussion about safety. He was burned because of a safety feature that was ignored by the manufacture of the car if I remember correctly.
He is in charge of checking regulations and getting equipment replaced or repaired and he takes it SO SERIOUSLY. He was the guy that told me that even though the equipment they have meets all the guidelines, he recommends that I get my son a higher quality professional helmet and something called a cowboy collar. He said "he is big and hits hard I don't want to see him become a statistic because the guidelines don't say you have to have something."(My son had already had 1 or 2 concussions from previous incidents) He got the name of a place where I was able to order the gear to match the team gear. So when I see him I never see the scars I see a really great guy that has done a lot for this community and my family.I know most people feel the same way about him.
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| March 21, 2011, 22:53 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
QUOTE (NRG4U @ March 21, 2011, 20:39)well it's just that mine are really big, they took all the skin off my thighs to make the skin grafts
After all you do for your fellow man, the kind of person you are, I wouldn't care if you grew a lizard tail and sprouted a cyclops head off your left shoulder. I would always be attracted to how amazing you are.
And gawd.....you are so dam modest too!
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| March 21, 2011, 23:15 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Re: Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
QUOTE (Chazzy @ March 21, 2011, 23:15) QUOTE (NRG4U @ March 21, 2011, 20:39)well it's just that mine are really big, they took all the skin off my thighs to make the skin grafts
After all you do for your fellow man, the kind of person you are, I wouldn't care if you grew a lizard tail and sprouted a cyclops head off your left shoulder. I would always be attracted to how amazing you are.
And gawd.....you are so dam modest too!
well i dont feel like ive done anything special, i mean i'm proud of serving our country, but 100's of thousands have, & paid the ultimate price, i've never even been in combat...ever hard to compare myself to the men that faced combat & knew they probably wouldnt survive. I'm just a small town farm boy that happened to become a pilot
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| March 22, 2011, 01:07 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
You should never think that way. You seem like a good person and you have a purpose. We all learn from each other everyday. You bring a smile to people faces here. I think its funny you say you're "Just a pilot" as if that's nothing. I bet a lot of people will argue that with you.
Weather you served on the front lines or in NJ you served where you were needed you shouldn't act as that isn't important as well. It takes so much for the armed forces to work and we need everyone of the men and women that serve. It's no less important than the guy who washes dishes or the general giving orders. It all needs to be done or things don't work well. So stop selling yourself short.
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| March 22, 2011, 04:13 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
NRG....hush now man, you know you are both gorgeous and sexy!
In general and on point here I have always been big, may be big for the rest of time. If I let it bother me then I wouldn't have a very happy life and I have enough real things to worry about without adding that into the mix. As far as other peoples opinons matter to me...let me think...that's right, they don't matter to me lol
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| March 25, 2011, 23:14 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
QUOTE (Josie34 @ March 25, 2011, 23:14)NRG....hush now man, you know you are both gorgeous and sexy!
In general and on point here I have always been big, may be big for the rest of time. If I let it bother me then I wouldn't have a very happy life and I have enough real things to worry about without adding that into the mix. As far as other peoples opinons matter to me...let me think...that's right, they don't matter to me lol
I love ur attitude, ur a sweety, i'm not gorgeous, charming, suave, & tons of fun maybe...lmao
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| March 25, 2011, 23:21 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Re: Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
QUOTE (Chazzy @ March 21, 2011, 23:15) QUOTE (NRG4U @ March 21, 2011, 20:39)well it's just that mine are really big, they took all the skin off my thighs to make the skin grafts
After all you do for your fellow man, the kind of person you are, I wouldn't care if you grew a lizard tail and sprouted a cyclops head off your left shoulder. I would always be attracted to how amazing you are.
And gawd.....you are so dam modest too!
Chazzy, actually he does have all that stuff growing on him. He has lots of makeup at home to hide it.  
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| March 26, 2011, 00:02 |
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NRG4U
63 / male
Beaver City, Nebraska, US
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
hahahaah ya bastard, u promised not to tell...lol
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| March 26, 2011, 00:05 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
QUOTE (NRG4U @ March 26, 2011, 00:05)hahahaah ya bastard, u promised not to tell...lol
Ops, my bad....
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| March 26, 2011, 00:06 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Do my eyes deceive me or you?
at least it's not Clorox....
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| March 26, 2011, 04:33 |
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